Yup...im offically the male version of a mistress...

[italianstalian]

11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

[DN]

But the biggest mistake is to allow her to use you the way she is. I hope that while you are Italy being away from her will allow some sense to overwhelm the emotions that are leading you to harm yourself like this.

[RayKay]

But the biggest mistake is to allow her to use you the way she is. I hope that while you are Italy being away from her will allow some sense to overwhelm the emotions that are leading you to harm yourself like this.

And I hope you realize that BEFORE you leave for Italy as doing this from now to then will only hurt you even more.

 

You are really hurting yourself by doing this. She was horrible to you, why are you giving her the "reward" of being with her?

 

Your mistake would be in continuing this relationship with her.

[yeawutever]

She's treating both you and her current b/f like crap. If she does break up with her b/f and you guys get back together, she'll cheat on you again like she did last time. You're still young, go find someone who will value and respect you and do NC with her. No point in one being the other guy.

[italianstalian]

hdsljfdsalfjdasflaskjsadfjaskjsa;

[RayKay]

You think you guys are tellin me something i dont know...like, stayin with her is gonna hurt me?? ..........im well aware of this............my problem is i cant leave........and idk y.........

 

Actually, you CAN leave. You are making a choice not to though.

 

Do you honestly think not being with her is that much more horrible then being used, being the "other man", being led on, being with someone whom cheated on you and shows you little respect? If you do...I can tell you it isn't. You will hurt, but you will also heal.

[yeawutever]

Italianstalian have you thought that what you're experiencing now is not love, but maybe you don't want to be alone, or being co-dependent on her. You don't need her aproval, you can move on.

[DN]

Actually, you CAN leave. You are making a choice not to though.

 

Exactly - this is something you can choose not to do. You are not helpless here and can make a decision - decide wisely.

[italianstalian]

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[Boricua7]

I know why you "can't" leave. You are allowing yourself to dwell in relationship purgatory because you still love her and with this you are afraid of fully letting her go because you are afraid that you will never find someone better. Plus, the fact that you are giving her current bf what's coming to him has got to be quite satisfying, no matter how evil it sounds. I think you may be co-dependent on her. I posted about co-dependecy disorder a long time ago and I think you should read up on it.

 

You are putting her up on a pedastal. She is treating both you and her current bf with such disrespect that it is disturbing. She is using you to get her kicks and using her current bf as a sense of stability. She sounds like the kind of girl who doesn't allow herself to be single for long. This shows that there is something very wrong with her. The fact that she feels she needs to have someone even if it's not someone she cares enough for to respect throws up all kinds of red flags to me.

 

Hopefully your time in Italy will give you a chance to be away from her, think, and gain a better perspective on things. I promise you there is someone bigger and better out there for you. Don't be afraid to let your ex go because you don't want to have to make the effort of finding this better person or simply because you don't want to have to wait around for something better. Also, don't be afraid that you will never find something like what you had with her. You don't want what you had with her, you want something better. You want all of the good things minus the bad and it can be found in another woman. Trust me.

 

Having her is quite convenient for you but is it satisfying enough for you to put yourself through this torture? You already know you can't get back together with her even if she wanted you back, so why are you doing this? Even if it sounds bad, answer this. You don't have to post your answer but be honest with yourself. I'm sure you know the answer.

[italianstalian]

cuz i sad sad sad person...............i honestly cannot wait to get out of this country.....

[CarnelianButterfly]

Forget this girl! Shes an awful person. Got to Italy and have a good time. If there's anywhere in this world that you can go to forget about someone that horrible, Italy is the one of the best places.

[Boricua7]

cuz i sad sad sad person...............i honestly cannot wait to get out of this country.....

 

You are not a sad sad sad person because you want someone who cares about you to be there for you and all of the other reasons people seek out love. People make mistakes on their quest for the person who is worth all of their time and effort. You are not a bad person or a sad one for having strong feelings for someone and it not working out. I honestly know exactly how you're feeling. Do not lower your self-worth simply because you love this girl and she is not treating you in the way you deserve. PM me or contact me in another way whenever you want if you want to talk. I'm here for you. Trust me, I understand and everything will be fine. When is it that you leave for Italia?

[italianstalian]

thanx....im leavin 8/8

[yeawutever]

Good, and once you do have NC with her.

[Boricua7]

Wow that is a long time from now. I think you need to sit down and be honest with yourself. What is it that you want? What is it that you need? Be able to make distinctions between the two. How are you feeling? How are your feelings affecting your life in a negative way and how are they preventing you from getting what you want and need? After you've done this, think to yourself: Is it really a good idea for me to continue to live this way? Would it be best for me (and healthier for me) to quit seeing [ex's name here] or atleast not contact her for awhile? Be honest with yourself. I know it's hard but sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do.

[SeaBisquit]

i hope you meet another girl while you are in Italy and forget about her. that's just my wishful thinking.

[tyler711]

This reminds me of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. Robert goes to Italy and meets an italian woman in an ice cream shop. Maybe that will happen to you. Although at the end of the episode his girlfriend finds out.:shocked!:

[italianstalian]

ok............i GOTA GET SOMTHING OUT.............i had sex with her today...i feel like * * * * now cuz i told the girl i was trying to get with b4, bu tdint for certain reasons now she hates me and wont talk to me.....my life is going down the drain..

[Boricua7]

First of all, why haven't you actively pursued the other girl? Why keep going back to your ex when you have the potential of having a perfectly good and normal relationship with this other girl?

 

Second of all, why did you have sex with your ex? Were you horomones simply raging or was there more to it than just that?

[WildChild]

Hooolllyyy Hannah! I have so many thoughts running through my head, and the main one is what in the world are you thinking?!! If you were here I would shake you and tell you to come to your senses and get a grip of yourself man (slap, slap).

 

This girl, and I say girl, because she is in no sense of the word woman is messing with you, has been messing with you and will CONTINUE to mess with you! For the love of man kind, have the guts and the will to end it, no, more like run. This is not about you, this is about her. She has the thrill of having two men basically chasing her and putting up with her BS. I mean OMG, she wants you, then she meets someone else, tells you she's pregnant, sneaks behind your back, then she's not pregnant (like we all thought she wasn't) then ends it, then wants you, then gets together with him and is cheating on him with you?? Is any of this sinking into you?

 

And then, you hate him so bad you would kill him if you could get away with it?!! And where in any of this do you not see any fault in her with all of this? Your hate should not be towards him, but to HER. God only knows what lines she is feeding him to make him stay. For all you know, she told him you and she are only friends and that's why he started his interest in her.

 

Like RayKay said, you can leave. You are making this happen by sticking around for the next pile of BS she is going to shovel on you. And in the process you have now lost the respect of someone you were interested in. You brought that one on yourself.

 

I know right now you are probably pretty p!ssed off at this post, but I can't stop shaking my head right now. This girl has put you through hell, and the best thing you can do is enjoy the time you have right now with your family and TRUE friends before you leave for Italy. If you take the notion with you to Italy that she wants to get back together with you once you get back, you will not experience the possibility of true enjoyment while there because I GUARANTEE all you will be wondering about is her.

[italianstalian]

.................what a mistake.....................she broke up with her bf today for me.......i screwed this UP soooo bad.

 

and for those who must know....the sex last night was not cuz we were horny or ANYTHING.......it was extremly passoniate

[Boricua7]

.................what a mistake.....................she broke up with her bf today for me.......i screwed this UP soooo bad.

 

and for those who must know....the sex last night was not cuz we were horny or ANYTHING.......it was extremly passoniate

 

That's good to hear that this all wasn't just a lustful impulse.

 

Do you want to be with her?

[italianstalian]

Honestly............YES...i do want to be with her...my love for her never left....i absolutley hated being with out her....i know all my post make her sound like the most EVIL girl in the world..........but the truth is shes not...shes the sweetest thing ever and im madley in love with her.......we dont plan on being a couple until after Italy, to make sure that its the right thing to do.

[Boricua7]

Yeah I think its a good idea for you all to wait. I know what it's like to still have strong feelings for someone despite how badly they may have treated you in the past. You know though from past experience what you need to do. Good luck with everything! Do what you need to do to be happy!