How do I get her back?

[Pippa]

Although not a long time I ve been out with this woman. My story is also at

 

link removed

 

Only around 7 months. We split in Oct 2005 We were happy together, and suddenly out of the blue one day she emails me to say she didnt want me to be her boyfriend anymore. Good grief! Done by email of all things. She did try to call be on the phone before she emailed me, but I ignored it thinking it was another sales company.

 

Anyway we slept together in the same bed, the week before, and only less than a week later her emotions changed. I have since found out that 4 days after we split up, she went back on the internet dating site where we met, and dated another guy!

 

This brief relationship lasted for 4 months. They went their own separate ways. Well okay they fell out with each other. I found out that the pair of them couldn`t even hold a decent conversation without arguing with each other. I thought great now I can get try to win her back.

 

Well after a few weeks of probing and chatting to her. I did ask when I can get back with her. (this is around Dec 2005 when she was seeing the above new guy). My ex replied she has never taken one back before. I ve only found out during the last 4 days that she has gone back to an ex! This was the first man she met before me. I m the third!

 

What chnaces do I have to win this woman back. She is `sort` of seeing this previous ex?

 

What are the options and what shall I do?

[Penny1041]

Well, heres my opinion.. Why would you want her back? If she dumped you for another guy before, she would do it again. And if she told you shes never taken an ex back only to have you find out that she LIED to you.. This means she doesnt want you back..

I think shes playing with your emotions. You can do sooo much better then her, you know? Just think this through before you even fight to win her back..

Penny

[Pippa]

Thanks for your opinion Penny. To be honest she has actually NEVER taken someone back before. This is the first one. I dont think she has lied about it to me. When I asked her when I can have her back she replied `I dunno`. She even said if there was `something better out there I`ll take it!` That really hurt!! I know that when we where seeing each other she had responses from other people on the internet and she would reply `no thanks I ve met a nice man`.

 

That nice man was me but I dont really know what went wrong and when. Whenever she is unhappy I ve never seen her communicate to me how unhappy she actually was until July of 2005. She pulled me up and we had a small one to one lasting only 15 minutes. Thats when I listened to her. She is full of insecurities and self doubt.

 

My ex did say I redeemed myself but she did tell me after 4 months later after outr split. She added we `weren`t actually a couple, we only see each other every now and again`. She even said that she `didnt feel it was getting anywhere`.

 

I believe these are her own demons inside her head. She still thinks I am a nice person and still speaks to me so maybe one day I can get her back. Maybe soon.

[Pippa]

Life is full of surprises. I believe we all have a chance in getting the second chance we want. I never argued with ex and I know she was really happy with me back in July 2005, and was happy up until the end of September 2005. I m not sure if if was her work that dragged her down. Due to problems at work, she was signed off for 10 weeks. Maybe I wasnt there for her and she had all that time to ponder by herself. During the 10 weeks we emailed each other and texted each other and saw each other when we could.

 

Imagine yourself being alone for 10 weeks. I had work, and had to pay bills, debts. I should have taken time off work, and spend all week with her. Maybe I should have taken time off work to be with her more. My ex girlfriend was diagnosed with mild depression, and used to have bouts of panic attacks. Her job hit an all time low and I ve been told that depressed people need to do something to reset their lives and they usually take it on their partners seeing them as the stressor.

 

I think its unfair to class me as the stressor. I thnk she needed more support, and I wasnt really there for her. She never gave me any sign or indication that she was a very needy person. In fact she hid her feelings so well!

 

I still want her back. She is going on hoilday for 3 days. The first time she came back on holiday, we had a brief talk about our relationship. The second time she came back she ended it! I wonder what she is going to do when she comes back on this occasion? Maybe see that she gave up too early, and wants to give me a second chance?.......I wish! We shall see.