Accidental phone call

[presshure]

Let me preface this question by saying that this site has done wonders to aid me in recovering from the dissolution of my last serious relationship. This, however, is my first time to post anything of my own...

 

I broke up with my ex in May of last year. We have had strict No Contact since the breakup. But, I have since not deleted her phone number from my cell phone.

 

Today, I accidentally dialed her while intending to call someone else who has the same first name (in my directory). She answered, but I immediately realized my mistake and hung up. She hasnt yet called back.

 

This woman was the light of my life, and I still entertain dreams about being together with her.

 

My question is, do you think that this accidental call hurt or helped my odds of getting her back???

[xprincessbugx]

well obviously she didn't call you back so she prolly thinks you just called to her hear her voice or something. I wouldn't read into this accidental dialing too much.... Just let it go and maintain NC.

[robowarrior]

You deliberatly left her number on your cell phone, unconsiously you have had high hopes of getting back to her. That you have ripped open an old wound is entirelly your own fault, for you should have deleted that number long time ago, and in your heart you know that was the right decision, but your mind simply could not delete it.

 

Go to your cell phone, put your mind on zero and delete that number.

 

It will be a mixed feeling of regret and happyness, but in the end that will be where you 'drawed' a line and moved on with your life. Hopefully this will be your choice, and that would be my advice.

[puccie08]

well if she doesnt call you back then i would say that she doesnt care to get back together with you its been a yr

[WildChild]

First and foremost welcome to EnotAlone

 

You have two options. You can try to get past this, and let it go. Or you could call her back and apologize for just hanging up on her because you panicked.

 

There are three possibilities why you haven't heard back: 1) She doesn't have caller ID (or had it before and now doesn't) so she doesn't even know it was you; 2) She didn't call back because you hung up on her; or 3) She didn't call you back because she chose not to.

 

I don't think it is wrong that you kept her number (some do/some don't), and obviously if this is the first time you have dialed her in almost a year, I believe it was an accident.

[presshure]

Thanx wildchild, good advice.

 

In your opinion, if I were to contact her intentionally this time, should I tell her the truth (that I dialed her by accident) or should i just apologize and say i panicked?

 

Also, what do you think about an email intead of calling?

[WildChild]

Geez, that's hard to say. You know her best so I don't know exactly how to approach it. I think the truth is the best, but she may think "Oh, he called me on accident?" and be hurt/mad/upset by that and obviously you don't want to make her feel like she was an after thought. I guess, how do you think she would react if you called or emailed her what happened? I guess too, it depends on how well or bad the relationship ended.

[kadvati79]

Why not try:

 

"Hey I accidentally called you on my phone the other day when I was trying to ring a buddy, and it got me thinking that i hadn't thought or heard from you in ages!... Hope all is well, things are going great here.

 

How the heck are you?

 

Have a great easter!"

[WildChild]

Why not try:

 

"Hey I accidentally called you on my phone the other day when I was trying to ring a buddy, and it got me thinking that i hadn't thought or heard from you in ages!... Hope all is well, things are going great here.

 

How the heck are you?

 

Have a great easter!"

 

I think that sounds perfect I'm assuming you're posing this as an email?

[kadvati79]

I think that sounds perfect I'm assuming you're posing this as an email?

 

Yep, I would send that as an email. Cause it gives you a chance to seem totally together without having to "fake" it on the phone. And its not game playing either. if you are ever going to get back with someone, its like starting again. And NOBODY plays all their cards when they first meet someone, its takes weeks (months, maybe even years) to cut through all the BS we all put up.

 

But just remember, its been a year, do you REALLY want to go through all this again? If you do you are chosing trial by fire. But I am the same, I saw the risk of pain and hurt but I'm still holding on to a certain extent.

 

To be honest, if your relationship was normal at happy for the majority, I would be very surprised if she doesn't reply (assuming she isn't in a relationship and was the type to reply to emails).

[WildChild]

I couldn't agree with you anymore on all aspects of this post

[Tigris]

Good idea icemotoboy!

[Msnak]

Motoboy, you can write all my emails and craft all my precarious business and personal voice messages from now on!

[kadvati79]

Well I was trained to be an manipulative ***hole by the air force.

 

If you really consider basic human emotions, and let yourself take a really objective and critical stance, consider all factors in your mind ... deep deep down - you generally know what you should do and say. But admitting these realities is the hard part. Its much easier to ignore these little bits of intuition and give over to passion, emotion, etc...

 

She answered your call. I would imagine she knew who it was. When my ex sent me a text the other day, the instant I saw the number I was hit by shock but I didn't realise consciously who it was until a few minutes later (I had deleted the number months ago). The fact you hung up would likely make her curious.

 

Please Please don't get your hopes up too much though. There are so many specifics about your relationship that we don't know, about you. About her. And it is these specifics that will decide the outcome - not what we think on here.

 

I don't think the specifics matter too much in terms of your approach. But, "Just how far down the rabbit hole are you prepared to go, Alice?" You are essentially giving up on a years worth of healing here. But if hitting rock bottom is what it takes to get over her (or if it actually works and you get back together), then the end result will be you EVENTUALLY being happy.

[presshure]

After reflecting, I am inclined to agree with your last post, ice.

 

Since I didnt intentionally break NC, and it was purely accidental, im going back to my original.

 

Youre right she knows how to reach me if she really wants to.

[suprema99]

lol, Ice has got lol, Ice in his veins. If you still like her, I would leave it alone for now. You made a mistake big deal as you say. It probably wasn't. But she answered, so that does mean something. But don't get all crazy and blow it with extreme military tactics. lol

[sbrew21]

I did the same thing by accident and just hung up. The next day I texted him "hey what's up, saw I called you by accident last night, my bad" and he responded back to it. Now we are seeing each other again. So I don't think there is anything wrong with apologizing the next day.