meant to be alone

[Spawn]

Being single feels like it's my destiny.

 

you know what people don't find me attractive either but then you have to approach people, have you tried that?

 

I'd need to be confident enough to do that though, it's not something you can force yourself to do when you're too nervous, otherwise you're just going to look like a social retard.

 

absolutely but if you people were friends and you feel you have more feelings for this person things might fall in place.

 

but i was still nervous though, i am crap at being asked out and also crap at askin someone else too.

 

attractive men always doesn't have most of the things goin for them. Its good for em that they can just go about askin any women out, ya they can. But girls are smart now, i know cause some of ma friends( girls) they go for men who care for them and not necessarily for their attractive nature or for the confidence they show

 

One my friends bf stammers but he is a very sweet guy and probably the most caring person i have ever met. He just went mad when my friend said yes to him.

[Miss M]

Spawn makes a good point. Girls are not all identical, and what we like and don't like varies a lot. Some girls are turned off by a guy's nervousness, other girls think it's cute. Some girls like shy guys, others like the aggressive outgoing ones. You just have to make sure you haven't decided beforehand that she won't like you, because many guys do that, and they reject all possibilities without giving it a chance.

[Ross_K]

It's obvious they ain't gonna like me though, they never do.

 

I've just got to accept it.

[Momene]

Being single feels like it's my destiny.

 

you know what people don't find me attractive either but then you have to approach people, have you tried that?

 

I'd need to be confident enough to do that though, it's not something you can force yourself to do when you're too nervous, otherwise you're just going to look like a social retard.

 

You don't actually have to approach anybody at all. I see you on lots of threads saying the same stuff. I feel sorry for you, especially as I felt very much like you did. I'm not some sort of "superstud" who can pull to order, yet I can tell you, at 51, that if I were single, I'd be dating again by Christmas. I also reckon, I could date at least one girl under the age of 40. I used to compare myself unfavourably with the blokes who could pull.

 

I bet there's loads of girls who find you attractive and you just don't notice. To be honest, i don't either but sometimes my wife or daughter pick up on someone's interest. I reckon that one girl/woman in 200 is attracted to me. hardly stud stuff but divide that into the world's population and that's still about 30 million to choose from. Even if you were 30 times uglier than me (which you're not) that still gives you a million.

 

You could meet someone on a 'plane or train. All you have to do is be open to them and not closed. You don't need chat-up lines, it will just happen naturally. Just have faith.

[Ross_K]

So you're saying there's something that I'm doing which stops women from approaching me?

 

Maybe my shyness/anxiety which I'm sure will translate into my body language could make me look unapproachable I suppose.

[Momene]

So you're saying there's something that I'm doing which stops women from approaching me?

 

Maybe my shyness/anxiety which I'm sure will translate into my body language could make me look unapproachable I suppose.

 

There almost certainly some who might not be approaching you but at least prepared to meet you halfway. You're probably so switched off to it you don't even notice. Keep your mind open and you might find that some girls actually do want to talk to you and find out more about you.

 

In my case, a lot of things make sense when looking back.

 

Good luck.

[Miss M]

I bet there's loads of girls who find you attractive and you just don't notice. To be honest, i don't either but sometimes my wife or daughter pick up on someone's interest.

This is totally true. Sometimes a woman can spot another woman's obvious interest in a guy even better than the guy is able to. I've also done that with guy-friends who didn't have a clue until I pointed it out to them.

 

I reckon that one girl/woman in 200 is attracted to me. hardly stud stuff but divide that into the world's population and that's still about 30 million to choose from. Even if you were 30 times uglier than me (which you're not) that still gives you a million.

And Momene, you also have an interesting and effective way of breaking down the dating statistics. Good points!

 

So you're saying there's something that I'm doing which stops women from approaching me?

 

Maybe my shyness/anxiety which I'm sure will translate into my body language could make me look unapproachable I suppose.

Yes, this is also true. There are definitely a lot of guys who give all the signs of rejecting me, but from hanging around enotalone, I now think some of them are probably just very shy, or very sure I couldn't possibly be interested in them. So they reject themselves on my behalf, without giving me a chance.

 

And at times in my life, I've done the exact same thing without even realizing it. I can look back and remember that there were a few times when I decided a guy couldn't possibly be interested in me, even though he was actually trying his best to indicate his interest, in a polite way.