Back to zee drawring board...

[LostInMyThoughts]

Just an update for all you friends out there who have given me love and support during my journey of life-after-divorce.

 

After some trepidation, I asked the girl from work to come out with me and some friends tonite. She said she couldn't because monday's are bad.

 

I dropped the hint that I was interested, and said that I was going to make it my goal to get her to hang out with me. (That was a little strong, and I know thats coming from my dominant-control-freak personality--w/e). She said in the future she would.

 

Now I do know she is busy with school (she is working on a Ph.D in pyschology--and is determined to finish this year), so I didn't take it too hard; but I do realize that at this point in time, she doesn't have the time available for a relationship, even one of a new friendship. Sucks for me, sucks for her.

 

So I'm back to the drawing board; though I do have another potential-love-mate (although her name is the same as my sisters!!!).

[WildChild]

OK, and why exactly are you just throwing in the towel? Yes she may be busy, but I would think that if she was that busy, or not interested in hanging out with you don't you think she would have said something along that lines rather than "in the future she would" I am assuming that this is the gal you have been telling us about since around Christmas??

[Momene]

OK, and why exactly are you just throwing in the towel? Yes she may be busy, but I would think that if she was that busy, or not interested in hanging out with you don't you think she would have said something along that lines rather than "in the future she would" I am assuming that this is the gal you have been telling us about since around Christmas??

... but I've had girls who didn't say no directly but kept hedging. Mind reading ability can sometimes come in useful.

[WildChild]

... but I've had girls who didn't say no directly but kept hedging. Mind reading ability can sometimes come in useful.

 

However, if this is the same gal that he has been writing about for a while now, they have gone out and done things. If you reread the post, he is even throwing in the towel on the friendship because of her busy schedule......

[Momene]

However, if this is the same gal that he has been writing about for a while now, they have gone out and done things. If you reread the post, he is even throwing in the towel on the friendship because of her busy schedule......

I have to admit I once had a g/f with a busy schedule. I had so much time on my hands, I actually met someone else while she was busy. Not proud of it, BTW. Some people need someone who is available often, not someone they're waiting around for all the time.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Hehe, so many girls...

 

This is my coworker that I've been debating asking out. We haven't hung out or anything yet, just talked at work, while I was trying to get a feel if she was interested.

 

What led me to believe she was at least interested in being friends is that she's opened up to me about her personal life, particularly her family, and their flaws (we all have flaws...). So I felt that she was at least comfortable enough with that, then perhaps she'd be okay with getting together after work.

 

I basically took it as a sign that she's either not interested and is letting me down gently, or she's really busy and doesn't have the time. Either way, at this moment, focusing my energy on her is probably futile.

 

Since she did leave the door open, if/when she graduates and if I am single I would give it another go.

 

ANd I guess I'm proud of myself for taking a chance.

[WildChild]

I'm not saying waste your time for when she commit as a gf, but I certainly wouldn't give up your friendship with her entirely either. I mean really, how do ya think that is going to look. You know what my thought would be: "Oh, I see. Since I can't date him right now, then he doesn't even want to be friends. Musta only had one thing on his mind!."

 

What happened to this girl from Christmas time?

[LostInMyThoughts]

I'm not saying waste your time for when she commit as a gf, but I certainly wouldn't give up your friendship with her entirely either. I mean really, how do ya think that is going to look. You know what my thought would be: "Oh, I see. Since I can't date him right now, then he doesn't even want to be friends. Musta only had one thing on his mind!."

 

What happened to this girl from Christmas time?

 

I think I understand what you're saying. I hadn't planned on giving her the cold shoulder, but we aren't friends. A better clasification would be work-aquaintences. She has opened up to me, and I enjoy talking with her,and I know the more she gets to know about me, the higher probability that she'd date me (i grow on people like a nice foot-fungus).

 

The way I interpreted what she said was that she's too busy right now to really spend time with anyone because of school, including the friends she has now. Probably because she doesn't want to get rid of her momentum going down the stretch towards graduation. If I'm lucky its because she is attracted to me and is afraid that starting a relationship might throw her off track. Speculating though, gets me nowhere. So for now, trying to get her to be friends, is going to be tough. I feel like if I press her to hang out, its only going to make her like me less, so I'll just drop out invites to hang out with me and a few other coworkers every now and again, and see if she'll come out.

 

The girl from xmas, was probably my music teacher. I still have lessons, but in the words of my friend: "it was a lame situation." I had the feeling she liked me--a few other casual observers thought the same thing. I took a chance, but she said no, for whatever reason, so I decided to move on.

 

But I'm keeping my eye's open for potential love. You can beat this dog, but you can't kill em

[WildChild]

Got it LOL Now that you explained it further I think you're right on key.

 

Hmmm, I will have to go back and look. I don't recall you mentioning her being a music teacher, but if it was a lost cause then so be it.

 

Now that I'm thinking about it, how did everything work out with your Mother and the Christmas gift thing? That was about the time you mentioned this other gal too.

 

Of course there's potential love out there for you...you've got a good head on your shoulders

[Mavh25]

I know relationships are hard, but i Go to evening college, do a part time weekend job, plus a 9-5 job, plus childminding, plus voluntary and i still found time for a relationship, why do people say this? genuine question

[LostInMyThoughts]

Hmmm, I will have to go back and look. I don't recall you mentioning her being a music teacher, but if it was a lost cause then so be it.

 

Yeah I went through my old posts (kinda fun actually), and the girl I was referring too was my music teacher. Nothing panned out about it. Spilled milk and all that...

 

Now that I'm thinking about it, how did everything work out with your Mother and the Christmas gift thing? That was about the time you mentioned this other gal too.

 

I haven't spoken to my mom since before I made that post. Neither my mom or my dad. She just gave the gift to my sister, who gave it to me. I just ended up buying a bunch of toys and donating them to Toys for Tots with the money I had earmarked for my neices and nephews (from marriage).

[LostInMyThoughts]

I know relationships are hard, but i Go to evening college, do a part time weekend job, plus a 9-5 job, plus childminding, plus voluntary and i still found time for a relationship, why do people say this? genuine question

 

People are different, and no blanket-statement such as "I do it, why can't you" is fair to use.

 

Maybe my coworker knows that if she gets into a relationship, she'd focus all her energy on it, instead of being more time conscious.

 

Or maybe she wouldn't want to start a relationship knowing she couldn't put the level of effort necessary to maintain her idea of a healthy relationship.

 

What ever her reasoning is, I will respect her wishes.

[WildChild]

Yeah I went through my old posts (kinda fun actually), and the girl I was referring too was my music teacher. Nothing panned out about it. Spilled milk and all that...

 

 

 

I haven't spoken to my mom since before I made that post. Neither my mom or my dad. She just gave the gift to my sister, who gave it to me. I just ended up buying a bunch of toys and donating them to Toys for Tots with the money I had earmarked for my neices and nephews (from marriage).

 

Ah ha

 

Good for you for sticking to your guns about the gifts. I'm sure you felt a lot better knowing you were helping children like you wanted to in the first place.

 

You got a lot going for ya Lost, with everything going on right now you are still keeping a cool head. Good for you!