greenie Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 how old do you guys think it is right to get married? I know there is the whole factor of love and emotions, but basically, what age do you feel is right to get married? How young seems too young and how old seems too late? Just speaking idealy, i know in the real world, there are many many more factors than age, i just wanted everyone's opinion. thanks Link to comment
girly69 Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 probably 18..and i dont really think that there is an age that is "too old" to get married... i mean my grandma is like 85 and shes gettin re-married Link to comment
greenie Posted July 23, 2003 Author Share Posted July 23, 2003 also what do you guys think will happen when you know that you are ready to settle down with that person? you'll always wonder what if, but when do you just ignore that? Link to comment
enchanter Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I would think the best time is in your twenties. The younger people are it seems the more they wonder what is out there. So you take a few years until you finally find someone and as long as you really love them and think this is the best thing for you then, there should be no what ifs. I suppose you can always wonder but you should be happy with your decisions. Link to comment
segagirl Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Well do we all know the rates of divorce for each said country? Here in the states it rages at almost 50% of marriages end in Divorce. So what age, I can tell you ....for a fact....that you become a whole new person by the time you are 25, and I say this not just from my own experience. From 20-25 you make the most amazing changes...So I say, not at least until then.... (edit) I think that when you are ready, you stop hearing the voices of what if.....its when you ignore them that you run into trouble. Link to comment
alwaysafraid Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I don't know that there is a right age to get married, but I do think that if you get married too young you will regret it. Everyone that I know that got married before or around the age of 21 has ended up regretting it. Segagirl is right. You become such a completely different person in that time. Until you are capable of knowing who you are on your own then I don't think you should get married. I know if I married my bf that I had when I was 20 we would not be married today. I was too immature and selfish. Link to comment
zb Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I still stand firm on what I said...... I mean if you worried about change........ that is going to happen in your life more then once........ have a kid sometimes causes a marriage to fall apart....... does that mean all married couples should not attempt to have their first child out of fear of divorce? ............wow there goes the human race............. everything is a risk........ for any person who says to wait until your late 20's or whatever..... there is a person in their 30's who did just that ......ended in divorce and wished they went for the guy or girl who wanted to give them their heart so many years before........ I think there many fish in the sea....... many people that we could settle for....... but there is small school of fish....... the ones that are truly meant for you........ and if you catch one of them young......I say more power to you..........hell..........the cost of living is very bad anyways these days....... if it was not for my roomie I would still be living at home....... so maybe the solution is a live in girlfriend? I mean if you want to see if you can survive this great change you speak of.......well ........live together................. I think couples should live together before marriage anyways just to see if they can handle each others mess. Link to comment
segagirl Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I hope my point did not come accross as don't get married because of the fear of separation. My idea was in regards to the question at hand, "when is a good age". My point of divorce way merely...don't take it lightly. I agree that many will never be ready, and many will fail no matter what the age. But what I am saying is the longer you wait, the more ready you become and the more personal insight you have. Now days we live so many years, and staying with one person is very tough...just seems that we all have a lifetime to grow and learn with one another.... why hurry? Link to comment
faeriechyld Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I agree with sega girl, I think people should wait until their mid to late 20's to get married as I have seen more successes from that age range. My parents got married young and were on the verge of divorce...but then mom died, so obviously they didn't follow through. But nonetheless, my mother was wondering "what else is out there" "what am I missing?" But no matter what, marriage is a personal choice, I have no intention of getting married until after age 25 because I feel that I will have my life settled more by then. I am working and going to college, so college is going to take me longer than the usual 4 year program. By age 25 I should be finished my bachelor's degree. That is my personal choice. Some younger marriages do work out, and hey, if someone thinks they can hack it, more power to them. Yes you go through changes throughout your entire life, but I feel later in life you are more prepared for them. I don't know many 21 year olds who know exactly where they will be in 5 years. I am guessing where I will be, but I have no set plan. I also believe in enjoying your youth. I for one, would not want to be tied down from now until the day I die, never knowing what it's like to date around, go out on weekends with friends and the like. Maybe I'm not "mature" enough. At this point, I could care less, because to me, I am making the more mature decision by not jumping into something I don't want at this point in my life. Ready or not, it's not what I want. Link to comment
greenie Posted July 24, 2003 Author Share Posted July 24, 2003 ok, so basically everyone is saying ages and such. I see everyone's point, but now there is the question of is it so wrong to marry at a younger age and grow with your partner or grow on your own and look for the person that would fit with you? Personally, I think that if you are lucky enough to find someone when you are in your early 20s that you feel complete around and who respects and loves you jsut the same, that it is the best time to get married. I think that growing with that person is better and helps you guys to get along much more easily and happily. I may be wrong but many of us hope to be with someone and share the love, so why not jsut start young and grow with that person? Link to comment
kuhl282000 Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Hey There !!!!! My thoughts are....take your time. take it slow. If you love each other you are not going anywhere. I have seen people 15 married all the way up to 80. so really who is to say. I think if you are both mature enough and can not take each other for granted.....well then maybe it can really have a good chance to work out. Good Luck...and god Bless the 2 of you always Kuhl Link to comment
sayer7 Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 I think people should get married in their mid to late 20s even if they are ready to settle down and get married in their teens. The longer you are with someone, the better you get to know them. And if that other person is ready to settle down and get married too and they, too, feel that you are 'THE ONE' then they should be willing to wait because they are committed to you. I believe getting engaged and getting married should be stages that are easily flowed into from being in a committed bf/gf relationship. You shouldn't feel rushed to get engaged, there shouldn't be any "biological clock" ticking away in the back of your mind pressuring you to get married and have kids. Things should just flow naturally. If it doesn't feel like things are flowing naturally, then something's wrong... maybe you or the other isn't ready, maybe your partner isn't at the same stage as you. If you want kids, make sure your partner wants kids also while you are bf and gf-- not after you get engaged and definitely not after you get married. When things are on equal ground and both of you know what the other wants in their future-- and it feels like you're both on the same page about getting engaged and getting married and both have no qualms about it---then THAT'S the right time to do so. Not before, not after. As for being too old-- I know 99 and 100 year olds getting married so I don't think you can ever be 'too old' to get married. You CAN be too young to get married though-- just simply based on maturity level and how long you've gotten to know your partner. So enjoy the time you have with your bf or gf while the bf/gf phase of the relationship lasts-- and then enjoy it if it flows into getting engaged, getting married, and building a whole new life together as a married couple. All in all: Life's too short to rush things so remember to stop and smell the roses whenever they're blooming. Link to comment
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