The way he thinks...

[smashing_pumpkin]

hi, i like this guy..but i dunno what to think or what he thinks and stuff... ..he likes me and i like him but he's not doing anything about it...i talked to my friend about him and these were her exact words "ya he's kinda cute but he's weird, he doesn't talk or say anything.." i've been told he's shy and stuff but i didn't think he was THIS shy cuz he does talk to me occasionally ...when i talk to him though he says the lamest things ever and by that i mean these were our last two conversations..Convo 1 started by him: he: "hey, wut time are you on until?", me: "i'm working 2 to 7", he: "oh really, i work til 10", me: "oh that sucks", he: "yeah, what you doing after work?", me: "just gonna go hang out with my friend", he how are you getting home?" me i have a car", he: "o really, what kinda car", me: "its a really ugly car..." he: "i see" me , then i look the other way and he says, "well i should get to work" lol and this is conversation number 2 started by me when he's searching for someone and i just happen to come accross him, me: "hey, whats up?", he: "hows it goin? what time you off at?", me: "oh i'm off now", he: "really, i work til 1! ", me: "i know, that sucks", he: "have you seen _____?" and that question was ansered by an anonymous friend lol and then he slowly walks away and he's still lookin' at me and i THINK he kinda said cya and i said "well cya!" ...see?!!? isn't that soo stupid! gosh! he doesn't even TRY to flirt or anything!!!! lol he did ask me for my number before but never made the phone call and i know he still likes me because i catch him looking at me sumtimes and he smiles at me and stuff but what the hell!! i want a better conversarion that ends with WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!! not another lame one! help!!!

[robowarrior]

oh for heavens sake, thats not a lame conversation. Look if he would have to flirt, he would auto-expose his feelings to you, and he doesn't because he has NO clue how you feel about him, you haven't told him either, so he wants to avoid a risk.

 

Now, thing with a shy guy is , a shy guy wil NEVER make a first move, TAKE the intiative. Ask him out.

[smashing_pumpkin]

he knows i like him!!!!!!!!!!!!! cuz someone told him and these were his exact words "yeah, i know..she's always looking at me" and when she asked if he likes me he said, "yeah, she's hot" ...i can't ask him out i'm scared lol

[DN]

Has it occurred to you that when he said "what are you doing after work?" he might have asked you out if you had replied "nothing".

 

And that when he said "How are you getting home?" he might have offered you a ride had you needed one.

 

It could well be that every time he is looking for an excuse to ask you out you are denying him the opportunity.

[robowarrior]

Fear is a state of hell , it keeps you imprisoned into a room even if it has a door to get out. If you are too scared to go thru that door, you will stick in the same situation as you are in.

 

Its a win win situation for you, if you ask him out and he says no , you can move on with your life, if he says yes, you got a date.

 

And with a shy guy i would just try to ask him out multiple times, with 3 week interval.

[smashing_pumpkin]

DN, you have a point there but i don't think he was trying to ask me out because why would he ask me out to do something after work or give me a ride home when he's off at 10 and i'm off at 7? :s

[DN]

Maybe he would have met up with you later? Why don't you just ask him out or at least give him an opportunity to ask you out?

[jordan_2]

ok the fact that both of you guys know that you like eachother seems to be what's adding to the whole not going out bit...

 

When you approach the situation (from his point of view at least) he's probably being all like "ok, so i heard that she likes me too, but from the way she's talking, I don't know, I don't think she really does like me or she would be more outgoing...I guess she doesn't like me then...well I'll play it cool even though I'm making some of the most stupidest comments right now, but whatever, i'm going to keep it cool and try not to be too head over heels for her." you never know because (as other posters have said) you haven't really shown him that you like him...initiate, initiate, initiate!

Yeah he might be intimidated at first, just don't be over powering or else you'll scare him away, just ask him if he wants to go out for a coffee...

 

and I said it before, but hte main reason why he says lame things can be because he's so nervous.

[GodsGift]

He sounds like a pretty wack dude. wats the point of going out with him anyway sounds like it will just be a series of lame conversations and uncomfortable silences before one of you breaks it off. Speaking from experience if you dont flirt with each other when your going out your not gonna have a good time. find a guy u can feel comfortable with who can keep it real

[smashing_pumpkin]

lol i personally think i have shown him i like him...cuz i gave him a lot of eye contact and he surely stared back at me and these eye contacts used to last a looong time! until one of us looked away ...and then after he asked me for my number i thought he hadn't called cuz maybe he lost it so i write him a lil pathetic note that read: "hey wuts up? you shud call me sumtime"... and then it had my number and i gave it to this girl to give it to him and she did and this is what he said to her "i already have it" ...see, i think he's a big wimp but i don't agree with Gods^Gift cuz i reallllly realllly like him and he is quit talkative once i start the convo and i realllly wanna go out with him ...i just think that this guy hasn't had a girlfriend before and maybe that's his problem...but i agree that i should find someone else if this goes no further ...although i have problems getting over guys easily...

[yashla]

hey, smashing pumpkin. i feel your pain. here is my story.. you guys tell me what you think...

 

there is a guy i've been seeing around school for about

a year. he is an IT guy at my college and attends another college. when i

first saw him last year i had a crush on someone else so i didnt pay

attention but he always looked at me when we passed in the hall and he

would try to catch my eye. now a year later i have fallen for him, i cant

stop thinking about him, cant concentrate on school thats how bad it is.

he still looks at me makes eye contact, holds the door for me whenever im

behind him. just last week as he was holding the door for me he turns

around to make eye contact as i was passing through the door, it was so

powerful i cant describe it. he has told his friend about me because

everytime his friend sees me he looks at me, i've noticed him walking past

same places i hang out at school. and he has helped my friend a couple

times with computer problems so now he looks at her like he wants to say

something, or he wants her to talk to him. but my friend doesnt feel

comfertable about it so she tries to avoid him. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! i

dont have anyone that will talk to him for me, im extremly shy, i get

really nervous and forget everything i wanna say to him when i see him. i

dont know why he wont talk to me! do you think that he does or doesnt

like me from what i described? i fantasize about being able to talk to

him and asking him out but im not sure about his true feelings.

 

he knows my major cuz he purposely walked past by me with a girl in the same major but 2 years ahead of me, i dont know her, he never hangs out with her, but idont know if he walked pastby me to make me jelous or to communicate to me that we have some things in common.. idont know! im trying to tell all the details so you can help me. when we pass eachother in the hall he tries to sort of smile, and he has said hi like once. im going to be spending more time on campus in the next 2 years..i think about what if he leaves the job and i never get to talk to him..i think about him alot i cant wait for the days that im on campus so i can see him. oh my friend is willing to help but not by talking to him in person but only by emailing him(she also works on campus) she want to write to him and say she know somone interested in him, is he interested? (i didnt think it was a good idea.) what should i do?

please help!i dont wanna stop thinking about him. i wanna chance with him.

cuz if i dont,i will not get over what might have happened, or did he like

me? cuz i find myself thinking about old crushes and asking myself if i

only knew how it would have worked out. im really shy, i try to fight it

but its hard, my hear start beating really fast, i cant breath, i start

stutering, or look away when we make eye contact. please! help!