Why are we both finding it hard to let go?

[PAL06]

I'm just after advice/views really. I went out with a girl who I really fell for, but we only lasted 3 months. The relationship ended because she said she did not have the 'spark'. I found this very hard as I thought everything was really good, she even admitted that we got on like a house on fire and when together she felt good, and intimately she had never been with anyone who made her feel more comfortable.

 

Anyway, 4 months later we are still in contact but only through texting/emailing, but she has stated to me that she likes our chit chats, but sees them as nothing more than that. I feel I need to let go now, but finding it really hard. What I find confusing is the fact that she wants to stay in contact and silly things like her texting me just because she drove passed me I find confusing. Why is she finding it hard to let go too?

 

Should I just walk away right now?

 

More generally I would like to know how much importance people put on the 'spark'? Is being in a relationship where absolutely everything seems to be good, even the intimacy, sex etc. when you are together, a sign that things have just become comfortable? does this 'spark' always happen when you do think you have meet Mr or Miss Right?

[sweetheart230]

she probably just means by "the spark" that she doesn't feel like completely crazy about you. or maybe she just doesn't really know what she wants.

 

honstly, i don't think its fair that she's doing this to you... saying she doesn't feel a spark and then still texting/emailing you. i think you should move on. i know its hard, but you shouldn't hold on to this relationship any longer. She made her decision; the relationship ended. She's the one who ended it... if she can't move on, then you must because its just going to drag on and on.

 

Honestly she's rpobably not letting go b/c she still likes you and hasn't really found anyone new. But if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, despite pretty much everything going very well in your relationship, then you deserve someone who absolutely does want to be with you.

 

I'm sorry, that migh thave sonded kind of harsh, but I hate to see someone hanging on to someone who is likely just playing with you b/c they're not sure what they want. What she's doing is extremely unfair to you. My ex and I did the same thing to each other... kept in contact far longer than it should have and it just prolonged the pain really b/c it wasn't mean tto be.

 

Everyone's definitely of this spark is different. for me personally, its important. Once, it developed over time but most the time it happens right away for me. Depends on the person I think.

[xblondyx]

honstly, i don't think its fair that she's doing this to you... saying she doesn't feel a spark and then still texting/emailing you. i think you should move on. i know its hard, but you shouldn't hold on to this relationship any longer. She made her decision; the relationship ended. She's the one who ended it... if she can't move on, then you must because its just going to drag on and on.

 

I completely agree...well said!

[GottaLetItBurn]

I think the best thing for you to do, is worry about yourself!!

 

Everyone is only looking out for themselves and you put your self out there because you are caring. The thing is it's all a game, and she is just trying to come around you for her sake. TAKE THAT AWAY FROM HER.

 

IF you ignore her, then she can get no closure. Let her go through the same pain as you are. I always tell people, and they agree even thought they wonder how long it will take, that one day they are going to ask want to slap themselves for getting all hurt by the person that left them.

 

Trust me, don't give her any chances, you will end up learning a lesson that she is just trying to ease her pain by coming around you when your down and out.

 

Look at it this way. You want to be there for her, and she doesn't want to be with you.

 

WHose losing who?

 

You have to realize that she isn't worth your time, she is losing you, you are not losing her.