Ex-gf rang again!

[SadHatter]

ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

[xblondyx]

Gosh that's very confusing. It seems as though she wants the best of both worlds. She's got a boyfriend, seems like she doesn't want you to have a girlfriend and still wants to speak to you. It's not fair on you!

 

I say cut all contact with her. If she phone's again just tell her that she's majorly confusing you and that she should leave you alone as she has a boyfriend and you have a girlfriend (ok, so you don't but she thinks you do) and that if she keeps contacting you it will make you both unhappy.

 

NC is the best way for you to get over her, also it will let you clear your mind so you won't be confused anymore.

[Mrocza]

Don't contact her. You'll just go through the same thing all over again. If she's really back with her boyfriend she has no reason to see you. She wants to see how you're doing for what...closure? I don;t think so. She is bothered. She wants to see if you still want her. She wants you as a back up.

 

Don't think about her. Don't let her get to you. It's not worth it. Stop scratching the scab!!

[DN]

Guess which one of these burners she is trying to put you on:

 

image removed

[blender]

Protect your heart, get busy, and stay away from her, simply "cancel" meeting up with her for now, do NOT give any details, "have a reason to get off the phone, call from "outside" and say "my ride is here, gotta go" and stay away, she' going through a 'down time" and you will be there ONLY to pick her up and then she'll be on her way again.. if you honestly want a chance with her NOW IS NOT THE TIME.... be confident, don't lie about other girls you might/or not be with, just DON'T SAY ANYTHING about YOUR life, just stay away for awhile, this is YOUR ONLY chance with her.. and I think if you step back enough you might want to truly think about what you want...before leaping to see how she is feeling.. Be clear on who you are, and what is "okay" with you, do NOT be her sounding board, this puts you in a category that she will not take seriously eventually, let her complain to a friend/buddy about her recent break up. YOU stay away, and maintain your dignity. Good Luck, if you dont' like this option, at least sit down before seeing her, and write a list of what is okay with you and what you love about her, (realistically) and what how "you feel about YOURSELF when you are with her" are you walking on eggshells, pretending? then you are NOT ready to be around her..

[RandomAdvisor]

After your last post I'm not surprised by her doing this.

 

Have you told her yet that you want NC? You should. And the next time she calls you, you should ignore it.

[blender]

Sometimes declaring your "no contact" status to the ex, is so much more difficult than making a Private decision to do so... don't put this pressure on yourself, just simply start no contact on your own... and then she will have to wonder, think, miss you..make a move, etc.. I'm not the type to declare no contact, I simply did it on my own and 8 months later I heard from the ex, but by then I simply did not want to resond, because his actions of not contacting me during that whole time spoke volumes....and I'm so happy I had the strength to just cry my eyes out and be sad for so long and realize that I NEED MORE from my love than "curiosity" as to what I"m up to. Who wants "crumbs" from someone when you can have a whole cake? YOU deserve the whole cake, but when are hearts are aching even "crumbs" seem like a whole meal... but eventually you will get "hungry" again and they will walk away again. Have your OWN standards, values, and live within them and see if the "ex" fits into that scenario, that is the only way to an honest two way loving street. good luck

[RandomAdvisor]

You're right, that works too. Whichever the OP thinks is best for him and his situation. I'm just hoping that this woman will respect his decision and stop trying to contact him or contact him as much after he tells her he doesn't want to speak to her...

 

OK, I just read that least sentence and it does sound kind of silly. But a guy can dream, can't he?

 

One way or the other, as long as he stops talking to her, he's better off.

[SadHatter]

Thanks for all of your replies guys. Well, she went as far as ringing me at work today, which was truly bizarre and surprising.

 

We spoke for literally 5 minutes before I said I don't want to hear from you anymore, this can't continue.

 

Prior to that, she stated again she was back with her boyfriend, but wanted to be friends with me. She was seeing him tonight so wouldn't contact me but would do so tomorrow - not going behind his back much either then is she! Despite going behind his back (and expecting me to say, "Oh dont worry about treating me second best, have fun with your boyfriend tonight!") she then says she does love him but would like to be friends with me!

 

Oh dear, how much does she not know what love is! Anyway, she said she would respect my decision for no contact again, as it basically has been for three months until this past two weeks when she got back in contact. Whether she sticks to it I don't know...if she calls my mobile I won't answer it, but if she rings my work or home phones, I dont know it is her until I answer. In that instance, I will say please don't call me again, we've both moved on.

 

What makes me laugh is she has never actually come out and said she wants me back etc. She still has her bf, says she is with him, happy and in love with him - yet she is contacting me and going behind his back! Astounding!

[SadHatter]

Well guys what goes around comes around! Someone I have known for two years and speak to on MSN just realised who this girl is and she works with her bf!! She laughed and said oh well she is getting MAJORLY cheated on by him!!!!!! He's slept with about 3 different people in the last month! What goes around comes around!!!

[DN]

Well guys what goes around comes around! Someone I have known for two years and speak to on MSN just realised who this girl is and she works with her bf!! She laughed and said oh well she is getting MAJORLY cheated on by him!!!!!! He's slept with about 3 different people in the last month! What goes around comes around!!!

 

If you should happen to get back together with her ( !!!) make sure she is tested for any STDs before you sleep with her.

[RandomAdvisor]

( !!!)

 

I must say...ditto.