I Change my mind, i don't wanna heal, I want him back!

[69HondaRaceGirl23]

Well, Here I am again, trying to feel better. Its worse, only now, i don't want to get better, please just somebody help me get him back! I had earlier told my story, how he left me dawged on me, but i had cheated on him, i understand, he has a new g/f, but he says theya ren't going out but she says they are. I don't care. What am I supposed to do? CALL him? I already emailed him, but nothing in it said anythign about how i cant get over him and still love him. I lied to him, and Ithink he hates me now, he tells ppl im crazy, but there has to be a way i can change that! : ! I honestly, don't want to hear the whole thing about needing to move on, I love him too much, say it if you must, but i beg you! anyone, what should i do? He is far away, it was a long distance, i just need help on how to make himlisten to me at least. i cant do this without him.

[Babes]

I am in the same boat but I lost mine 6 months ago and I didnt cheat on him. I thought he was the one. I was sure he would be my husband. Now I am laying in my bed crying 6 months later because I am all alone. So I would love this advise too.

 

I am pretty sure my Ex hates me.

[WorkingThruIt]

Speaking from the point of the man in the situations you are both describing, (well the cheating situation anyway) I dont know if there is anything you can do except to talk to him, let him know your feelings and be honest and open, and let him decide how he is going to continue. My wife of 5 years finally admitted to me that she has cheated on me. We have children, all girls, and I was working all teh time overnight to try and make ends meet, and she was bored and looked to fill her void somewhere else. I can not describe to you the amount of hurt that caused me, and the pain and anguish that ensued. I think I ran the spectrum of emotions, from rage and despair, to self hatred and self loathing. I debated staying for the kids, and the idea that staying would be bad for the kids, and whether or not I could trust her again, or is we were lost forever. I dont mean to ramble on my situation, I should post it someday to get some feedback though, but I can tell you that the one thing that brought me back, and made me want to work things out, (which we are trying with the help of a counselor) was the fact that she fessed up to me, and I absolutely love her. I think in racegirls situation, you need to tell him why you cheated, what void you were trying to fill, and tell him what you are willing to do to work on that void. Tell him you're still in love with him, and that you did not mean to hurt him, and that you want to work things out. But, understand, that I dont think there is a more emotionally crippling situation for a man than to have this happen to him. The pain is unyielding for a long time, and he may never be able to get over it. Even if he does forgive you, he will NEVER forget, and that may be enough of a block in the relationship to not come back to it. If you love him so much, do you think that you would want him to come back and have that inthe back of his head forever? always wondering? always worried? I still wonder if I will ever be able to get over it with my wife, and if we will ever have what we once shared, and not to be mean, but we have a few years on you too, which is only to say that we have more history and years together. Just send him an email, and pour your heart out, and tell him what you want, and hope that it is received and read, thats all you can really do, or call him if you like, but prepare yourself for rejection too!

[sadksgirl]

I know what your going through. My ex and I dated off and on for 12 yrs. 4 months ago he said that he wasn't happy, he felt we were turning into his parents and that he has loved me for six months. He and I are each others best friend, but I don't know if I can even be his friend anymore, do to the history that we have. I found out that he had a date three weeks after he broke it off. Our situations are a little different I never cheated on him. But I have written him letters explaining how much I love him and that I want to work things out. He keeps telling me "In the end everything is going to be ok." Well what doe that mean? The more I talk to him about the relationship and he and I getting back together, the more he says that I push him away. I don't understand that. Some guys like to hear how much they are love by someone and others don't. I would try the e-mail and see what his response is and then maybe back off for a couple of weeks. I know it is going to be hard, but be strong. I know what your going through, your not alone!!!!!!

[Genesis]

I do not think he will take you back b/c he can not trust you. I would not take you back, you my just envy him b/c he moved on. That happens all the time, when you get him back, you may not want him. I hope that what ever is the best for the both of you happens. I feel like once a cheat always a cheat. Good Luck though you seem to be an ok girl so, I hope things work out for you.

[ak35082]

ok i will give advice from a reversed situation.i tried the calling thing and trying to see her and you know what...it made it worse.here i am a year later with her wanting to try but can't get over the calling,crying,yelling.if you are meant to be with him then it will happen.i knwo that sucks cause i hate hearing it to but it is the truth.and you have to know for yourself that if it is not him someone better will come along.you knwo you made a mistake and you admit to it(the cheating thing).it is up to him to forgive and trust me it is easy to forgive but not to forget.tell him how you feel and then drop it.just let it sink in with him.don't call and stay busy(it works trust me).if he can do it then he will call.if he can't then he won't.and if you love him you will respect that cause being cheated on is hard to look past.been there and done that and he sounds like me so i can relate.you don't want him to come back and him punish you for what you did.b/c it makes it terrible for both people.you know it was a mistake so learn from it and in the future whether it be with him or someone else you can look back and never want to do that again.