getting serious???????

[Dogg]

Hey All,

 

I have posted here before about a new girlt hat I had been hanging out with and how I wanted to become exclusive with her (see previous posts). Well anyway, we hang out all the time, she calls me everyday whether we are seeing each other that day or not. We do things together like sit at her place or mine and watch movies, she has gone out with my frineds and vice versa, she has stayed at my house, I have taken her out to lunch from her work, she texts me during the day and says that she is just thinking about me and things like that. We have a lot of fun together, there is amazing chemistry between us. I am SOOOO attracted to her ( i hope that she feels the same way and I think that she does) she is the nicest sweetest person that I may have ever met. I thoroghly enjoy spending time with her.

 

Now

i have been more or less trying my best to take things slow. I have veered away from talking about "us" so as to contunue to keep things light and fun between us. I have not been the one pursuing her by making phone calls and sending texts. I let her initiate that and it works out quite well because I am out of work well before she is anyway so she just calls me like clockwork when she gets out. I let her suggest activities for us to do (mostly just ask if I wanted to do something with her then I come up with the idea cause I'm good like that) I surprised her and told her to come over to my place the other night aftr she got off work where I had cookoed a nice dinner for her and popped a nice bottle of chardonney. Also, I brought her a rose to work when I ppicked her up the other day and she LOVED it and later said that it caused a frenzy around her office of everyone asking her about it and I could tell that it made her feel good to be the center of attention in that way. I really like this girl alot. I invited her to one of my best friends weddings and she said that she would love to copme and we are also planning a one night adventure to atlantic city.

 

My questin is this, should I begin pushing more for the exclusive relatinship although there is really no doubt in my mind that she is not seeing anyone else or should I just continue to more or less roll with the punches and see where things go on their own? I read on link removed that the guy to maintain power in a "relationship" should never be the one to ask, he shoud wait for the women to ask....what shoudl I do, I am really enjoying things right now but I am committed to her and am not seeing anyone else either......

[Liam Weic]

I say you initiate it, regardless of what ASKMEN said. It's about trying to maintain equilibrium, not one being more "powerful" than the other.

[WildChild]

I have to agree with Liam here Dogg, this isn't about being in the driver's seat ya know.

 

Like I mentioned a post or so ago, I think it is great that you are letting her initiate things and not running the other way. However, now it's been how many mo/wks that you two have been dating? I don't think it would be wrong for maybe you initiating a call or two/date etc.... She sounds like she is really into you, no doubt about it. I just think that if she has to initiate everything she and or family/friends may start convincing her that if you were THAT interested why aren't you the one initiating things more. Make sense?

[WildChild]

Oh, to answer your question LOL

 

I think she is into you enough, that maybe you could bring it up to her that you would like this to be exclusive. This will also establish with her that you have no intentions of WANTING to see anyone else, only her. There are a million ways you could approach it without it having to be a serious conversation if you are wanting to keep it light hearted.

[Dogg]

oh I must have given off the wrong impression of myself and this situation. I do reciprocate her advances with some of my own. I never not call back or respond to her messages. I do also send some of my own and make the initial call sometimes. My point is that after the trials and tribulations that I have gone through in my most recent and most miserable relationship and now how I am trying to pull it all back together and make something out of this new girl whom I think is absolutly wonderful, I do not want to push her away by moving too fast or by taking away the mystery in it all! does that make sense? I want her to WANT to call me and WANT to hang out with me I want her to DESIRE me because she has to work for it a little. I do not want her interest in me or this "relationship" to fade due to things being too easy! again, not sure if I'm going about htis the right way and would like some advice on it if you would!!!

[WildChild]

Then this is my suggestion, just go with the flow. Even though I am in the stages of a break-up right now when my bf and I reunited last spring, I never pushed the issue of being exclusive and nor did he. And you know what, one day he referred to me as his gf and it seemed natural and o.k.

 

I don't anticipate she would ever date someone else behind your back for the sole reason of this being a new relationship...meaning no bf/gf title. She reeeaaally seems to dig you Dogg. Maybe just keep it the way it is and if in your mind she is your gf (even though you haven't told her that) treat her as though she IS your gf, and it sounds as though you already are and doing a gr8 job

[friscodj]

Be careful about following the advice of those male websites when it comes to dating. A lot of stuff on there advocates playing games with women and essentially manipulating them...and that's no way to be... =;

 

Don't ruin a good thing here. Things sound like they are going great for you right now. I say enjoy it and take things as they come. Let the topic of exclusivity come up on it's own and address it then...just be natural and be yourself...

[Day_Walker]

After all the fun you are going to have to make some decisions. It seems that you have already decided that you want a relationship. Has this girl given you any indication that she doesnt want a relationsihp? Otherwise I would say that things are working well for the time being. If you feel the need to push for exclusivity then there is no denying that feeling and you are going to end up doing it anyway.