Should I call him?

[shangrala]

I've been dating this guy for a couple of months. He's been very sweet and really good about calling and asking me out ahead of time. We've had some great makeout sessions and just last weekend finally had sex. For various reasons, it wasn't that great (of course, the first times usually aren't). He called the next day, but I was out. I called him Tuesday and left a message, and then he called me back. We talked for awhile, but he seemed really tired, so I said I'd let him go (he's been working really long hours). One of the last things we talked about was some guy who had had a crush on me (this came up at his prompting, not mine). Anyway, I haven't heard from him since and I'm wondering if I should call him, although he has always been the first to call. Or should I assume that something has turned him off and let it go? This would be the first weekend we have not gone out together since we met.

[RayKay]

Maybe call him, maybe he is kinda feeling a bit insecure at the moment. Not sure what wasn't "great" about the sex but he may be feeling a bit worried about that too, and I am not sure how you answered about the "crush" but that could of raised some flags too. If he brings it up, why don't you just put it aside and say the guy whom has a crush does not matter...because I hope he doesn't.

 

You can call a guy you know, especially if you have been dating a while...maybe he wonders if you are interested if you don't usually make first contact

[arwen]

Hey girl,

 

I'd call him. The other option is sitting by the phone waiting for him to call, which will drive you insane. Of course there is an option where you do neither of the two, if you're able to leave it where it is and not worry about it (I think you wouldn't have come here if you didn't care).

 

I think it's best to just test the waters, just call him, ask about his week, if he has plans for this weekend. You will know soon enough whether this is just a coincidental thing (him appearing tired and less interested after the first time of being intimate), or that he's lost interest.

 

Personally, I think that in these early stages of a potential relationship, this kind of thing is kind of a red flag. I'd be careful with making excuses for him (working long days etc). He was probably working the same long days when you just met, right?

 

Keep us posted,

 

Ilse

[hisgirl1828]

Im gonna have to agree with ilse on this one. Call him but be prepared for the worst.

I dated a guy for about 5 months and this is exactly how he ended it. He stopped calling and when i eventually called him he seemed too tired to talk. I never called him agian and niether did he. We were sexually active the whole time. He had found someone better.

 

Dont get me wrong, this might not be your case. Maybe he just doesnt know how to react to your first time.

Definetly Call him

[shangrala]

Thanks for the advice. So I did call him--left him a message telling him I was thinking about him. He called back right after work and asked me if I was available to get together over the weekend. We went out last night, had a great time and talked a bit about the not-perfect first time. The deal with his work is that he is a medical student who has a different rotation each month. This last month he was in a hospital, working 14-hour days. Fortunately, it just ended and the next one should be easier.