Update on progress

[furakura]

Hi everyone, just wanna update on my progress. I'm sure some of you know my story where i got rudely dumped via email. I have been on strict NC since and have deleted his phone numbers, blocked his emails and deleted him off IM. Last Saturday, i nearly broke NC cos i was feeling very desperate and vulnerable - my parents had a huge argument and came to blows twice in the same night and i had to break them up twice. I was utterly devastated by my parents' actions and suddenly recalled that he once said to me that he will always be there for me, which i realised was all bull * * * * since he can dump me with such finality while saying he respected me. I stayed firm and did not search for his contact number. On hindsight, i am very glad i did cos even if i did, i would have achieved nothing and the last thing i want is for him to pity me. Yes, the ache in my heart is still there but i know i am healing. Just that a very small part of my heart wants him back but my mind knows that even if we ever get back together, it wouldn't work out anyway plus he has hurt me way too much this time.

 

Thanks everyone for hearing me rant Have a great weekend!

[furakura]

I apologise for using vulgar language in my thread. Sorry!

[BillyJean714]

Hi Furakura and welcome,

 

You sound just like my friend who is going through something similar. Hope you're not her, because if you are, it sure is a pretty small world. Hehe, lol.

 

In all seriousness now, if he dumped you through e-mail, then I say, the BEST thing that you can do right now, is to not try and force yourself to do NC. Sometimes, the more willpower you put into something, the less willpower you have. I know. It might not make sense but it does.

 

If you keep on saying, "I'm not gonna think about him, I'm not gonna think about him," guaranteed, you are going to think about him.

 

For now, the most effective thing you can do, in my opinion, is to keep yourself busy. I'm sure that your parents have problems right now, but you need to stay away from stressful situations. Talk to them and let them know how you feel. Whenever you feel the need to think about your e-mail ex, keep yourself preoccuppied.

 

Besides, if he's not thinking about it, why should you, right? If he's the one who can easily just break up with you over the internet, then why not do the same to him? Treat him the same way. Obvisously if he's not going to give a crap, you don't need to care. Stay focused on other people besides him and enjoy your life without him. Good luck!

[furakura]

BillyJean,

 

Thanks for your advice I don't think i am forcing myself to do NC, i no longer have any desire to contact him anymore cos he made me feel like a piece of trash.