fallen out of love!! Just a general question for the members

[kantore]

Hey just a general question for all you guys. I was just wondering if you

 

think that true love ever really fades away? I mean if you fall out of love

 

with someone, then were you really in love? Or is it that some feelings get

 

pushed aside, but that true feelings come to the suurface in the end?

 

Just a general question!!

[alwaysafraid]

I think that if you have fallen out of love then you never were in the first place. Your feelings can change for someone, but love doesn't disappear. You may not love them the same way, but part of you will always love the other person no matter what has occurred.

[fenstrt]

I'm actually going through a period right now, where I have a younger girlfriend who told me she fell out of love with me. she says that she just feels different. that she still cares about me, and all that good stuff, she just fell out of love.

from my personal view, you can't fall out of love, it's there forever. and true love will stick to you for the rest of your life, and you only get true love once.

Tried explaining this to my ex, she just keeps pushing me away...

[pi_anochik]

I agree with those two. If you fall out of love, maybe you were never really in love in the first place. Many people confuse love with lust or infatuation. So many people are confused by love, because let's face it, love is confusing! I think true love will last forever, because that's what I think love is. A bond that can never be broken.

[musicchicus]

Sorry, but I disagree. I think that you can be truly in love with someone...and have that love change and fade over time.

 

Love is not some gift that you are given; lust, infatuation, maybe. But not love. Love is something that builds and grows out of those other things. Just the same love can fade...if you let it. But if you keep working at it, keeping it interesting and keep trying - it can NOT FADE. That is the struggle of relationships and marriages.

 

Love is something you do, not something that happens to you.

[mk]

I think I agree. I mean love can fade, but I think true love, is something that you show to someone more than you care about yourself.

 

Then that don't fall out of love, that's true love. I mean people don't just fall of love that easily. Even if you make mistake, true love will forgive.

 

Any comments?

 

 

Sorry, but I disagree. I think that you can be truly in love with someone...and have that love change and fade over time.

 

Love is not some gift that you are given; lust, infatuation, maybe. But not love. Love is something that builds and grows out of those other things. Just the same love can fade...if you let it. But if you keep working at it, keeping it interesting and keep trying - it can NOT FADE. That is the struggle of relationships and marriages.

 

Love is something you do, not something that happens to you.

[fenstrt]

sorry musicchic, I never meant to make it sound like it was some birthday gift. by giving, I meant, somehting you show someone, something you let someone have of you. not necessarily have, but something they can feel...

[Genesis]

I agree with musicchic. I see so many people write here asking about marital problems. Love does fade over time. I think that is why people go out and have affairs. It is hard to compete with a lustful new and exciting love vs. old settled love. Every time after the affair is over the person always misses and wants to go back to the person they left b/c that is who they really loved, but were blinded by lust. Or the person they ran off with, the love with them begins to fade also over time. I think people are like drug addicts we are always searching for that high, and when our partner is not giving us that high anymore, we move on to the next person, look at Donald Trump, he can not stay with the same woman to save his life.

 

Many people who go and cheat on their spouses, I do not think they feel out of love they are just overcomed by lust and infatuation for this new person. I hear so many people who say after leaving their husband or wife that they regret it,it was not worth it. I posted the same question the other day Love vs. Lust why does Lust always seem to overide our feelings.

 

why does someone who has been in a successful marriage for 30 years, all of a sudden meet a bimbo down the street and think they are in love and must leave their wife, Lust? If Brad Pitt came and knocked on my door after being married for a long time, I would think I was in love too, but I have better sense than that. Love tranforms it is a fact of life. We will always not be as passionate as we were when we first meet. Their will be passionate moments however.

[fenstrt]

well said genesis. the biggest problem I have with this is I like the settled and old love more. how rare. guess I'm weird

[raggamuffin]

I disagree with alwaysafraid. You can be inlove withsomeone and fall out of love. Its just as you grow and change so do your feelings about people. Saying that you never were in love in the first place is like saying that just because you and a friend have a falling out and are no longer friends anymore were never friends. Its a rather sad way to look at life. But this is just my opinion. There are many different ways of loving someone and many different reasons for falling out of love with them. But that doesnt mean that you werent in love with them.