Why do I feel like I'm cursed?

[mjctraider]

I've never had a girlfriend and feel like I never will, what makes it worse is I try and make an effort and I have nothing to show for it. My only real chance of meeting any one is through online dating. I've tried it for years and with no luck. Well in a sense there are girls that I respond to that respond back, but somehow I don't ever hear back from them when i respond back to their email they sent me or I want to be able to contact them, but can't.

 

Take today for example. Checked my email and there was a girl that was interested in chatting with me. Inorder to contact her to give her my email address I had to subscribe to the personals site so I could actually send an email with contact information. Well the gods must be angry with me or maybe it's the curse, but I cannot subscribe to the personals site. I keep getting an error over and over and over again. When will it all end? When will I finally be able to show my interest in a female and get a response back and then have a friendship or even better a relationship work out? I jsut feel like jumping off a cliff and ending my miserble life.

 

On a side note, I know that I'm not cursed it just feels that way. I mean I'm only 28 and no girlfriend. Just very (and I wish I could use the word, but you know what I mean) @#$! luck.

[jensxcom]

Why do you think you never had a girlfriend?

 

never met anyone in school who like d you?

[mjctraider]

I can feel it, like a six sense, almost as if I'm not meant to have a girlfriend. I've been looking and looking for years and years and years and no luck. Just feel like I will be alone forever.

 

As far as school goes, I was too shy and the girls always went for the jocks. Not the shy, average looking guy like me. What makes it worse is now I am losing my hair and it make me look even less attractive. I know what you are all saying. Just try and show my personality to people and then the girls will come flocking, but not the case with me. Been there and tried it many times and too many of them are like. "Why are you so shy?"

 

And you are probably wondering why I can't just talk and go up to people and say hi and talk to girls and just be me. It's not that easy when you've been rejected year after year after year and don't have the looks, self-esteem or confidence. My confidence isn't all that bad, nor my self-esteem, but iyt's just so frustrating when you try and make contact and get no response. And it's not like a girl here or there. I've tried making contact with several girls and everytime I get shot down. I just give up and might as well accept that I will be the mean old guy that everyone avoids and I'll die a lonely old f@#$

[jensxcom]

What are your hobbies and what are you good at?

I wil try and help you.

[mjctraider]

I like hiking, biking, baseball, video games, going for walks, movies, listening to music, all sorts of stuff really. As far as what I'm good at, not much really. I was always good in school and not really good at playing sports, unless you count being a good listener something I'm good at.

[jensxcom]

So you like hiking, baseball... Maybe you can take that up more, like go for a class in it or join something for it.

 

I have a friend whos 30 and who gained alot of weight, told me he couldnt meet anyone. He told me he used to play guitar as a teen. I encouraged him to take it up again, he joined a band and met a girl at a place he played at.

 

I think the key is finding a hobby, soemthing your good at and try meeting others that way... if you cant meet through people you know..

 

Dont give up,, i mean your 28 not 38..

[mjctraider]

I know I shouldn't and I probably won't give up, but I'm just tired of making the effort and nothing happening. Sometimes I feel like there is a girl out there for me and other times I feel like there isn't. As far as getting more involved in my hobbies, not really sure there is anything in my area that I could do as far as joining a club or a group. I've tried joining online groups in my area and that was a total waste of time. So I'm kind screwed no matter what I do, that's why I feel cursed.

[jensxcom]

You think maybe the area where you live makes it hard for you to meet people too?

 

Myself i plan on moving out of NYC, i have had alot of bad relationships, would like to move somewhere with more friendly people..

 

Maybe you should look into the hobby thing, i notice when your good at something people admire it and tend to want to talk to you more, with myself i noticed it...

so think about it.

 

I know what you mean about making the effort- i have made the effort with guys- just wound up in bad relationships... but i hope to meet someone nice still.

[mjctraider]

I will try, but I don't feel it will get me anywhere. The sad thing is that I will be moving soon to get a better job and I've even tried looking in areas that I might be moving to and with no luck. So it just seems that no matter what I do nothing good will ever happen for me. My life is good the only part that is horrible is my personal life. It just seems that I have good luck with everything in my life except my personal life and I jsut wish for once it all change. I keep telling myself that even if all I ever had was just one girlfriend before I died I would be happy and I can't even seem to find one girl I might connect with.

 

I appreciate your help and thank you for taking the time to read my nonsense.

[jensxcom]

Well you said your moving soon, maybe you havent had any luck online with girls there but once your there it may change.

I think theres hope for you because your only 28... Good Luck.

[mjctraider]

Thank you I appreciate what you said above. I just wish I could feel the same way. Somedays are better than others I guess.

[Ross0]

I can totally relate to the cursed thing, it's exactly the same for me too and I'm 30.

 

There is an involuntary celibacy site that you may find usefull.

 

link removed

[corvidae]

Hey guys! I'm 27 and I've never had a girlfriend. Recently I been trying to develop my appreciation for the things in life that have worked well for me, and trying not to dwell on this too much. I think it quite possible that I will never have a girlfriend. But then, we must learn to live with who we are and what we have.

[mjctraider]

I think I have come to the conclusion that I too will never have a girlfriend and it would be nice not to dwell on it, but I've gotten too miserable and depressed to not be able to think about it everyday. Somedays I just want to say enough is enough and end my lfie, but other days are better. Just wish I could meet that one girl that I will hit it of with and we can grow old together.

[Kevin T]

I feel cursed myself. And since a 'curse' is simply a lack of a blessing, then it's definitely true for me.

 

Trouble is, I don't know how to get rid of 'curses.' I know complaining doesn't help, but it doesn't hurt either...

[monsieur]

I wouldn't say it is a curse, at least not a direct one. It is more a fact of our personality type. Some guys have the type of personality that they have girls phoning them all the time and always have their choice of many vying for their attention. It seems effortless, and the girls all believe in their hearts that he is something they desire greatly..... It must be a great feeling of security and confidence for the guys that are blessed with this magical outgoing persona.

 

Then there are the more reserved shy guys like us that are always completely misunderstood. Our body language and deep down personality traits betray us continually, we could want a girl with all of our heart but we fail to elicit the same want back from a girl, and it isn't just the initial miscommunication of body language or whatever.... it seems we can attract the girl initially with good looks or they may even be intrigued by our shy quietness, but after a few dates instead of things getting better, it is more often that she gets bored or some other personality thing comes up to add distance and sabotage the relationship.

[monsieur]

worse yet, we know that we have a major shortcoming when it comes to the skills of seduction and having girls long for us deep down in their hearts, so if we do manage to get in a relationship it is as if we are going in knowing that we are not worthy, or as worthy as someone else.... we'll end up doing things out of desperation to make up for the fact that we aren't super charming, example giving lots of presents, sitting by the phone for hours hoping she'll call, but when you do talk to her on the phone you blow it by feeling a sudden wave of nervousness and having your mind go blank, etc.

 

That is why I hate that when people say that she is 'not rejecting you as being unworthy, just not what she is looking for at that moment'.... I don't buy that... some guys are automatically 'what girls are looking for' almost every time, if the guy gets a girl's initial attention he is a sure thing... for many of us shy guys, we turn the sure things into nothing over and over again... thereforeeee rejection is personal, as it is a reflection of our shortcomings

[jordan_2]

ok i've never had a 'girlfriend' but i have had flings and minor crushes where the girls felt the same...

 

ok what you have to realize is that if you want it bad enough, and for the right reasons, it will happen, you just have to work at it...

get out there, go with some friends to a social spot where you can interact with people of the opposite sex...and remember they may have friends too that can maybe hook you up, you never know until you try.