i am glad i was the dumpee

[karen95]

Me and my ex-boyf have been broken up for about 9 months now so i guess that i am a lot further ahead than most in the healing process but at this point i am glad i was the dumpee and not the dumper.

 

In the past few months i have done so much "soul searching" and found out so many things about myself that i did not know. i found out my strenghts and weaknesses. and i looked back on the relationship with my ex and realized where it went wrong. ( i was too clingy/needy towards the end and i think that was the main reason we broke up)

 

but because of all the thinking i know a lot more about myself than i did 9 months ago and i am going to be better prepared for future relationships.

 

when we broke up my ex told me that he did not have the same feelings for me anymore, which was true, but because i was the dumpee i looked back and saw where and why his feelings for me changed. i saw the mistakes that i made in the relationship (and the mistakes he made, to make me clingy/needy), and i am defiently prepared for the next relationship now and i am pretty sure that i won't make the same mistakes again. i have learned from my mistakes (and his) and will see in the future if the same things are happening again and be able to avoid them.

 

where my ex is concerned i'd say that he just thinks that he fell out of love with me, and did not really give any thought to why and my guess is that he did not learn any lessons from our relationshp.

 

so i guess i am glad that i was the dumpee rather than the dumper, as i have discovered so much about myself and relationships and what helps them to be successful.

[xblondyx]

It's nice to know that you've learnt so much i'm happy for you. I hope i feel the same 9 months down the line!

[karen95]

i'm sure you will feel better soon. people don't lie when they tell you that time is a great healer. i thought i was never going to get over my ex but now i am fine and i'm sure you will be too.

[mystik]

I love hearing about dumpees who 'survive', get over it, and feel fine...even if it does take some time.

 

Thanks karen95, it's stories like yours that make me feel so much better about my healing process...

 

I can't wait to get there

[karen95]

You will get there. But it is great to have a place like this where you can come for advice from people who understand and are going through or have been through the same thing as you.

[shamus]

thats what life is all about. learning and growing. i learned a lot from my ex, and yes there were times i was very clingy as well. these forums are really a great support