All roads lead to failiure

[TheHighwayMan]

...or maybe I just can't find the right road yet.

 

It's been a month since my ex told me that she didn't love me and had feelings for someone else (the end of the relationship). We've been in no contact ever since, but I still have to see her here and there...and it's destroying me.

 

I've tried everything. I've read many articles, listened to a lot of advice, convinced myself that she is not the girl that I thought I loved, that she's not worth it, that I have the strength to move on, that things will get better, etc etc.

 

And yet every time I see her, even just a quick glance, that "defence-system" of mine fails automatically and I feel like I'm in a crashing plane spiraling uncontrollably down. I have no explanation for it, I don't understand why this happens. After everything that I tell myself....and then....](*,) It's unbearable and I can't do a damn thing about it.

 

And in the upcoming month I'm going to have to see her more and more...and I can't find a way out of these feelings. But I need to. Help me, please

[byates5637]

I know the feelings man. It sucks. Im there right now except i havn't had to see my ex yet. Next week we are going to "hang out" so i'll see how that goes...

 

Anyway, 1 month of no contact is not that long at all. While it is something for you to be proud of, it is just a start to getting over her. Just give it a few more months and you will really be feeling better. Try to avoid her as much as you can and also try to meet new girls, it helps alot

 

-good luck

[Lady Bugg]

Highwayman

 

Having to see someone who dumped you on a regular basis, is like rubbing salt on a gaping wound.

 

Do you work together? Is there a way you can avoid her for while? Maybe get transferred or something? I know you love her but after a breakup..out of sight, will lead more to out of mind. At least eventually.

[marolua]

Why don't you try to understand the meanings behind the way you feel?How does it really feel when you are feeling like plane spiraling uncontrollably down". Do you have a cycle of thoughts? Does she remind you of something(other than your relationship and how it ended)? What were the meanings that you attached to her? And is there a way to disassociate those meanings?

I know that this is not easy, but I also believe that the more you try to convince yourself that you are over, the more you would repress you feelings which would surface and bother you whenever you see her. Maybe just accepting that you STILL care, you STILL think of her, and that YOU are upset would not make you feel confident but at least you would be honest about your feelings to yourself. Just let it go and live with the pain for a while, than it would go away quickly and easily that you wouldn't even notice.

[heloladies21]

All of your feelings are very normal. One month isn't a long time, but in your stage the best thing you can do is start building up your life outside of her.

 

Get in the gym, get in touch with old friends, start dressing well, get concentrated on school/work, and most importnt of all start talking to a TON of other girls. This will speed up the process and help you cross over.

[TheHighwayMan]

I have to see her regurely because we're in this acting class together and are doing a theatre production in about a month. Although I really want to, I can't quit because I have a central role and there are no replacements...we've been preparing for months and I'd ruin everyone's long and hard work if I did. Also I do believe in the saying "The show must go on"....so although it's going to kick my as.s, I have to go through it.

 

But now it's getting really bad. Since the premiere is soon, we'll be reheresing more and more....today for example I had to spend 6 hours with her. Although I didn't show it, I just went insane inside. Watching her, being around her, everything...it was just.... And we ignored each other the entire time. I really have no words to describe how crushed I am at this moment. And there's a hell of a lot more to come.....but dammit.....the show must go on...

[TheHighwayMan]

update on myself : (cause it helps a bit)

 

sorry folks, I've tried, but I am in a state of terminal decline at the moment.

 

Another 5 hours with her today, and more to come. She looks so happy, so full of life...while I am sinking into a black hole of depression. It's like quicksand - the more I try to fight it, the faster I sink.

 

I don't know what to do anymore...I just can't handle being near her, especially for such a long perid of time. But I've put too much time and effort, too many people depend on me on this...I can't quit either. Christ...](*,)

[TheHighwayMan]

8 hours today.

 

This is officially the most painful experience of my life. I've broken my leg, I've had many hopes and dreams in life come to an end...but nothing like this. This is cruel, barbaric, unhuman.

 

When I get home I'm devestated and don't feel like doing anything anymore. If I go out, with whoever I am and whatever I do, everything just reminds me of her and I get worse and worse.

 

I should just throw myself off a bridge or something.