Its over/Its not/Its over for real this time

[minnie]

Just a quick question.

 

I have broken up with my ex (for good) for about 4weeks now. i have spoken to him twice, the last time being yesterday.

 

Im just looking for some advice - I think/know he thinks i am not serious about this, because i have always gone back to him, and believe me i have broken up with him so many times , i have lost count - seriously.

 

If there is one thing i have learnt its dont say things you dont mean, cuz when you mean it......

 

Now, i want some sort of acknowledgement from him, but i am not getting any, he hasnt said o.k i understand, or why, or nothing. He still calls me and when i do pick up he is acting as if nothing!!! which really gets me mad with him.

 

I have a new phone and my old contract ends this month so i wont be hearing from him anymore, and i dont want to leave it like this.

 

Whenever i see him, he is going to be asking the whys? and i dont want to be really getting into it on the street or in a club, which is why i want to sort it now.

 

I dont know what to do, when he calls i think, maybe he can see im serious and want to talk, but he doesnt.

 

What do i do when i see him out or he turns up at my house?

Do i really have to be nasty to him. Im trying to let everything go and just act happy and fun, but when i do this, he takes it as im cool, and thinks we are back to normal.

 

It seems to be a cycle right now and im sick of it. what to do, what to do??

[NJRon]

Why do you break up with him to get a reaction? Why are you even talking to him if you broke up with him? If you want to be together, be together and stop using breaking up as a way to work out issues. If you want to breakup, then do it. You're just thriving on drama.

 

If I was with someone that kept breaking up with me and then coming back, yeah, I wouldn't take them seriously either.

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

Well, as hard as it is, you need to stick to your guns. The only way he is going to take you seriously and honor your space and wishes is sticking to your word.

 

You do not have to be nasty, in fact, I am surprised he is not with you. Tell him you made up your mind once and for all, you do not want to be in the relationship anymore, case closed. AND STICK TO IT! The only way this is going to work is if you stay true to your word.

 

Good luck with everything and take care.

[RayKay]

I am confused as to why you have broken up with him so many times and gone back but....

 

If you are serious it is over, you need to be firm and distance yourself from him. Of course he won't take it seriously if he is going by the past experiences, so you have to SHOW him you are serious about it by keeping your distance.

 

I am really not sure what you are looking for from him in terms of acknowledgment....that confuses me...because when you end it, you end it. You told him it was over...so stop with mixed messages - stop answering the phone and behaving as always. There is no need to be nasty, just be firm (while compassionate) that it is over and you want to limit contact until you have moved forward.

[minnie]

I think i have broken up with him and gone back so many times because (this is hard to say) but maybe i am thriving of the drama of it all. Thats possibly self esteem issues right?

 

When he calls i feel maybe he has somethng to say that is worth listening to, but it never is.

 

Thanks for all your advice anyways, it has made me realise one or two things!!

I think i am breaking up with him to get a reaction, but because now i am not getting anything, i feel lost and a little fool.

 

I have realised that idont need to speak to him at all and i really need to fight the urges of wanting to speak to him. Last night i purposely took my old phone out with me so if he called i would answer and he did and i did.

 

I have to stop this and i have to do it now

 

Thanks