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anxiety and possessiveness is pushing him away


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This is an age old story of mine but will make it brief for some help. I have been with my man for 11 months and the past 3 months I have to deal with my divorce to someone else, my present b/f return of his ex, his female friends who I found to be threatening and my anxieties in general. I am nursing student just about to qualify and paniking about whether or not I will get a job and what type of nursing I want to be in. I think the last three months have brought up so many emotions that it has left me very anxious and clingy to my b/f and its scarying him a little and pushing him away.

 

We had a big talk last night, putting our feelings on the table, I told him I wanted to be with him because I love him, love the lifestyle we have, love our friends, and what we do together. I don't believe in breaks and neither does he but he realised I have a lot going on at the moment. He said he felt that he would be very sad if we split up and that he felt now he had found me I would always be in his life, but felt frightened that I was becoming clingy...(just like one of those people in a Dear John letter to a problem page!).

 

So, we have both decided to try again, he said he will be more considerate to my studies and my work and I said I will do things to conquer these feelings of anxieties. It's like I have a devil on one shoulder telling me he doesn't love me want me and on the other side an angel saying of course he loves you, he wouldn't be here otherwise...

 

From last night I know I am loved and wanted and want to be with him but I want to fight this anxiety now...because if I don't it will break us up and maybe future partnerships as well...

 

Can anyone help me give me good advice...I don't want to leave him so please don't tell me to do that, when we are happy its fabulous...I want these feelings of anxiousness to go...how do I make them go and feel better about myself, my work, my life...because that's what it boils down too, that I don't feel good about me..

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I'm a guy who has been in a relationship with similar things happening with my girlfriend. It can cause a strain on the relationship and it takes lots of talking to help both sides get through it. Your normal to worry about things!! It just shows your a caring and thoughtful person, so don't run yourself down about it but make sure you talk it through with your other half.

 

He has to understand your feelings, but give him time as we guys think quite differently about things We can be quite slow understanding girls sometimes!

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