Why is it that I can even believe this???

[venus777]

I am a health worker and I semi-counsel pregnant patients at a clinic. Today a woman came in pregnant for the third time. She had a beautiful son with her, we got to talking, she is pregnant from a different father than the first one, who she has been trying to divorce for the last two years, but he won't help pay for it and she is going to seek legal help.

The clencher is that she broke up with him because he'd been cheating on her. Not just cheating. He had three children with another woman while he was with her!!!

I learn about horrible stuff everyday but when I learn about stuff like that I can't help but wonder how I will *ever* trust someone that I'm with??? I see horrible stuff every day and my first love cheated on me too and I thought I was crazy for not trusting him... Wow. Just wow.

 

I've had a terrible day today and just thinking about that makes my stomach hurt. It's so sad, how do people do stuff like that??? How do you know someone won't do that to you???

[ElektraHere]

Venus,

 

It takes two to tango. I can't believe women stay with men that either cheat on them, abuse them, or ignore them. Why is that she slept with him? I know that you see alot of different situations and yes they can be frustrating and sad but in no way does that predict your future.

[venus777]

well, she broke up with him when she found out he was cheating on her. but they'd been together for five years before she found out about the other children. and they had two children together. she said that there were some signs something was wrong with their relationship but she kept trying to work it out...

i don't think you can always guess someone is cheating on you. and personally, i'm not the type of person that wants to spend my energy tracking my guy down in order to be sure he isn't... i want our love to be free and giving, not controlling, the guy chooses he wants to be with me, i choose to be with him. but sometimes people just aren't honest about their intentions...

[ElektraHere]

That is why you must put in as much energy as they are. That way it is a balanced relationship. I dont promote following your guy around. If a person is going to cheat they are going to cheat. I think or instinct tells us we can just choose to listen or ignore it.

[friscodj]

I learn about horrible stuff everyday but when I learn about stuff like that I can't help but wonder how I will *ever* trust someone that I'm with??? I see horrible stuff every day and my first love cheated on me too and I thought I was crazy for not trusting him... Wow. Just wow.

 

I think this is a subject where you choose a little naiveness over cynicism. Remember the seventh grade? Where things were a lot simpler? When it was about "liking" someone or "liking liking" someone?

 

What else can you do really but have faith in true love? That it will happen to you and that it will be with a wonderful person? Not perfect, but fulfilling and "right".

 

I know quite a few people with jaded, bitter, and cynical views about relationships and I try really, really hard to fight those urges...even though I have plenty of reasons to embrace them...