the right people

[SuzieB]

Hi. I am sitting at home on a Friday night and probably going to sit at home tomorrow night, too. How am I going to meet someone when I am sitting in my apt? I work my tail off all week long and am honestly wiped out tonight. I don't think the right place to meet people is at a bar/club. I have lots of friends, but they are all married or engaged. They have children, so they arent exactly wanting to go out all of the time. So, I am wondering how to meet people of the opposite sex who are worth dating. I got out of a serious relationship back in September and have dated a couple different guys, but they didnt work out. My ex's supposedly really good friend has been calling me and asked me out for a drink if I wanted this weekend. My ex hates me so why should I care what he thinks? I just dont feel right about it. I feel stuck in a rut and just wanted some words of encouragement. I need to be working out, but cant get up the energy or motivation. I also feel like starting to go to church again, but the motivation is not really there. I think it would be nice, but I get up on Sunday morning, and start doing other things or I sleep until 11. I need to make some sort of a life change or need to be content with the way things are right now. I just don't know how.

[annie24]

How about posting a profile on the internet, like on link removed? May help you meet someone special.

[SuzieB]

I have thought about that, but I don't feel like I should have to pay money to find the right person. I did put my profile on yahoo personals, but I got replies from guys that I would never be interested in. I got really frustrated with that. Thank you, though.

[annie24]

What do you mean "you shouldn't have to pay money to meet the right person?" Haven't you ever gone out and bought a nice new blouse or skirt for a party in hopes that you'll catch someone's eye?

 

And for $14.99 a month, that's not that bad a deal.

 

I've done online dating, and dated many men, some seriously, some not. But, it was definitely a way of meeting SINGLE men who are LOOKING for a relationship. If your complaint is that all the men you know are married or whatever, online is a great way to meet a lot of men who are looking for a romantic connection. True, you may have to sort through a bunch of men that you're not into, but ultimately, you may just find *the one.*

 

Or, how about a church group? Or, try joining a dating organization in your area. Volunteer.

 

The bottom line is that if you want to make a connection with someone, sitting at home isn't going to help. Prince charming isn't just going to magically show up at your door. You have to make something happen.

[red10]

SuzieB I feel for you - I'm sitting here too - home on a friday night....i think it's the pressure of always needing to have something to do, always being busy, have a social life...well, I do have one and I have amazing friends, but like you many of mine are married, having kids, in relationships...and i'm only 24...i feel so behind, but really, i'm not.

 

there's nothing wrong with staying in on the weekend, sometimes you just need that time for yourself, I too am tired from working all week, and i even work sat. to make more $$, trying to save - it's a balancing act really.

 

I think maybe you need that time alone. Maybe you owe that to yourself after being in these other relationships and dating men....do you feel like you need to be on that path to find someone and get married? Sometimes it's even more frustrating when you are actively looking for that someone and he's nowhere to be found...

 

I think it's a great idea from Annie to join link removed or something like it, not even to find that one, but to meet different people. Or join a church group, that will give you the motivation to go back to church, and find yourself among new friends.

 

but don't feel bad for youself if you sit home. That is your choice. If you really want to do something, go do it, but make sure you do it for YOU - don't let other people make you feel like you need to be with someone, need to go out, or anything...do what you want.

[ElektraHere]

SuzieB

 

I am sitting home also but I am not down about it. I too have friends and yes they are mostly married or have children so their time is always taken. I have felt like you too but you know what my girlfriends tell me they would love to switch places with me for a night "off."

 

So I guess we indulge in these times alone because you never know when the time will come where you have a husband coming home late from work, the two year old is crying and has a ear infection, and the dog needs to go out.

 

So grab the Calgon, put some nice music on, draw a bath, and if you like wine or old enough have a glass of wine

[Süsser Tod]

I think you people are missing the point...

 

 

 

The point is not about having something to do, the point is, how the heck can you meet people when you are sitting @ home with little or no chances to get out to meet people?

 

 

If someone knows the answer, please let me know.

 

 

I'm an IT guy, also sitting here at home. Tired from working all week on a highly stressing underpaid job. But I woudl love to have something to do, with someone special. Sure, right now I can go downstairs, hop on my bike and find out how far it gets on a gas tank, or play some dumb game on the computer, or eat whatever junk food I can find, or go walk outside.

 

None of them are a good activity to meet new people!

 

Volunteer on what? There are little activities I could volunteer in, and most, if not all, are activities for 40+ year old women.

 

Hobbies, oh, I love motorcycles, a 99% men environment, I'm an IT guy, another 90% men environment, etc.

 

I'm screwed...

 

Sorry for the thread hijack.

[red10]

I got involved in a soccer league where I live - it's been great, I am on a women's league and a co-ed league, actually in charge of my co-ed team, and that has given me the opportunity to meet new people - both men and women, and also get some exercise....

 

think of something you used to do that you might want to get back into - but like i said before, check out the chuch - they usually always have something going on and it's something you've wanted to get back into

[annie24]

I joined a bellydancing club - I dance with them 3 times a week, and have made many wonderful wonderful friends through it.