Do I wish him Happy B-Day??

[designer71]

I just need some advice...My ex broke up with me two weeks ago. Tomorrow (March 1st) is his B-Day. I have been in NC since the break-up. I feel broken-hearted still since it was his desire to break up. Why do I feel so guilty about not calling him or e-mailing him for his B-Day? We parted somewhat friendly, but lots of tears on my side. Does everyone think I am OK to let the day go by? I guess I am worried about hurting him - but maybe I should be more worried about what it would do to me to contact him - set me back two weeks of hard work!! I just need someone to agree!!! LOL Thanks!!!!

[vesper]

it would be polite of course, but you don't have any obligations to wish him a happy birthday. I would not do it since you are broken up now and there should be no expectations. stay strong and don't do it if these two weeks have been hard work.

[keenan]

Be good to yoursefl--don't contact him. He probably won't respond, and you'll be crushed. Even if he just replies with a one-word response ("thanks") it will dominate your day--wondering what to say, wondering if he'll reply, wondering what he was thinking when he got it, if he's thinking of you, etc. Shudder. He'll be FINE if you don't contact him. (And if he's not fine and misses your warm wishes, he'll contact YOU.) My $0.02.

[Diggitydave]

This is the "bigger person" debate. Do i say happy b-day and put "us" aside for a minute to be the bigger person, OR, do I say happy bday and suffer when i wonder why he didn't write back, then contact him wondering why, cause drama and start over again.

 

If you can say happy birthday and walk away and really really wish him happy birthday and walk away without expecting a reply, go ahead. If you want to be on the safer side, tell him not to reply back, this way if he doesn't you can at least say "well i did tell him not too". Or, have one of your friends do it for you, this way you won't miss an indirect reply too much.

 

 

or you can stay on the sidewalk. at this stage of the game, it's up to how mature and how well you can handle these things. I am a lil weak right now so i steer clear. i got through the b-day and valentines day so i'm good with these kinds of obligations for now. I hope you make the right decision.

[onmyownagain]

This topic comes up all the time, do a search for birthday etc. I would suggest you don't send a card because you are no longer together, if you are sending it because you want to get him back then again don't send it, it wont make any difference in the end.

[gratefulpain]

i wouldn't bother. Not out of spite but setting unrealistic expectations. I agree with the aboves posts. What if he dosent even aknowledge your sentiment. You'll be crushed. after 2 weeks of hard work dont set yourself up for more hurt. Write a happy b-day email but never send it, save it to "drafts".. your intentions are pure... sound slike youre a good person.... stay focused on you... it was his choice... let him live with it...