emailed her and i get a YES- but we never go out

[joe45]

why did this girl and also another girl similar to this one online wise-when u ask em out if they are interested-they say sure Yes, but when u do ask em its busy for today, next day , next wk-as in it never happens-u get the excuse like busy or what not, my question is why do they even bother saying YES-if they never plan on meeting up or dating you-so annoying -kinda of like a tease. a sample of my e mail i exchange wiht a gal i'm e mailed -chatted with her twice-shes not online a lot. she wasn;t hesitant in giving me her #, we did chat on the phone twice, ask her out on the 2nd call for a quick coffee or any non alcohlolic drink-very casual and nothin special-got the uhh uhh have to do something.

i got a feeling that i'm gettin the run around and its not just her another girl online wise is liek this "sure we can go out" you now what i really got a feelin its a NO.

it not just online ppl but real ppl wise to-promise one thing and it never happens. soooo annoying it like they playin with ur feeling or what not

any suggestions.

 

 

 

 

 

THis is andrew from plentyoffish-remember we chatted,

>how are things going today?

>Your beautiful and i love to get to now you better

>-coffee, lunch, movie. you can contact me at ########-ask for joe

>

hiya Joe! =) Thnx for the email..I would lov to

hang out with you one day...but not this week cux I'll

be busy. I'll be more flexible next week! WEll, i'll

talk to u soon! =) ########. Cya! =)

 

Pisces*

 

Hi XXXXX

 

Thanks for calling yesterday.You seem very outgoing in

your speech-i like that.

I was about to phone you back , but was too sleepy

after reading. So hows your schedule like for next wk,

i have fridays afternoon and nights free- we can meet

at Oakrdige mall -they have a bubble tea house accross

the st from Oakrdige mall. tell me what you think

 

ttyl

 

bye Joe

Hi Karen

 

Just saw ur xanga profile-and happy belated birthday. how does ur wk look like. love to meet you-you look very pretty. -how was the cake?

ttyl

Joe

 

"this is another girl same thing"

 

hey sorry went to write you back on msn and

> you were gone. Hope that you had a great day and

> that your night is even better. Ya I would like to

> go for coffee sometime but very busy so have to plan

> it in advance. ttyl

[Ash]

Face her in person, then you'll know. It's far to easy to say something in an email and not put the thought into it that you would in a face to face meeting. It's too easy to avoid true issues, especially in perhaps somewhat superficial e-conversations. Some people will tell you whatever they think you want to hear online, but when it comes to a personal meeting things aren't quite the same.

 

If you want to know, ask in person.

[venus777]

uh, some guys have wanted to hang out with me and i felt bad and said yes, but really i didn't totally want to. something awkward about people you meet on line. i wouldn't take it too personally, just people aren't totally sure that's what they want. maybe just ask to talk on the phone instead, they can get a better feel for what you're like before committing to actually meeting you!! and do that soon, don't email for too long!

[MeHim]

Don't be so forward.

My soulmate asked me out after us tlkaing for 1 day..over the internet. I said "maybe sometime, i'm rather busy"

 

then we talked a few times, and same thing (I found him forceful) Then finally I got back into town, and we met, thank god we did. He always jokes now about what if we haden't met, and how I blew him off the first time.

He's definitely not a forceful person and I bet you are not either, just play a little bit with conmversation before you even mention meeting. it's a lot easier.

[smallworld]

Hey Joe, I'm sorry things haven't worked out for you, but I don't think these girls are playing games with you. It's more likely that they're not comfortable with saying "no" and rejecting advances. It's that whole "nice girl syndrome" thing. They think if they say they'd love to go out with you and keep coming up with excuses that that's kinder than just saying "no." Cowardly isn't it?

 

From an outsider's viewpoint, I think you should know that your chats and emails appear to come on a little too strong. You're probably just trying to be sweet and make the girls feel beautiful, but it's a very weird and awkward thing for a girl to hear a guy she doesn't know very well focus on her looks before he really knows her. It makes us feel like that's all we are to you ... a pretty face or body. And to be honest that can feel really creepy!

 

The next time you write someone to set up a date, talk about how you enjoyed the conversation and would like to get to know them better. Compliment them on something that shows the girl that the conversations you've shared with them have been memorable and that you appreciate them for specific inner qualities and strengths as well as their outer ones. (For example: My husband fell in love with my sense of humor and kind heart.) It's okay to compliment her appearance (i.e. "You look really beautiful in that dress") , just don't make it the focus of why you want to go out with her. Good luck!

[epilogue]

San Jose, Leland or Santa Teresa High School?

[epilogue]

Yes, too strong indeed, as smallworld pointed out.

 

Though we live in an e-mail age, I think when it comes to asking girls for relationships, these things are best done in person. No matter how easier the alternatives may seem.

[Lansing]

Yeah... I would say, definitely do NOT tell her she is pretty in the e-mail! Even if she is....

[joe45]

Yeah... I would say, definitely do NOT tell her she is pretty in the e-mail! Even if she is....

 

why not tell her that shes pretty

[Lansing]

I think that telling her she is pretty will probably come off as you trying to get her "approval" by giving her compliments early on... I would wait until you meet her in person to give her any compliments. Plus, I wouldn't give too many compliments anyway. She are probably coming accross as just the average "joe" (pun intended) by the "your pretty" comment. Try to be a bit more creative in your responses... Well, I can't offer much help with the internet dating thing since I haven't tried it but, I just think you should be cautious about complimenting too much. You might come accross as a wuss.

[venus777]

not about being a wuss, i love it when guys tell me beautiful... IF I'm interested in them too!!! so it doesn't hurt. but i'd definitely hold off on it til you met...

[jordan_2]

JOe again!!

 

I've told you before...don't come on so strong. You have to learn that the woman wants to know that you see more than just what she looks like. She seems interested and the fact that you can't seem to decide an exact date is becoming a problem. Plan a date, tell her the date...if she says no, then you move on. if she's interested, she'll e-mail you back and let give you another date if not, it wasn't meant to be.