Too lonely...no girlfriend

[ElToroLoco]

OK I know that there is a lot of time for me to get girlfriend, im 14, but in school it seems that everybody's got a girfriend.

I like somebody, we have never talked. I don't know how to talk to girls or anybody. I don't really have any friends. I can't sustain a conversation for more than 3 minutes. I want to talk to her, but I don't know how?

Please help.

[HaloDestroyer]

Hi there!!

 

Firstly, let me be the first to welcome you to eNotAlone. May you find the advice you seek, and bestow your experience upon others in need.

 

Right, second, 14 is wayyyyyy too young to be worrying about a girlfriend. I know it feels like everyone's got one, but don't let the pressure get to you. In a couple of year's time, the chicks'll be fighting to keep their hands off you!!

 

Thirdly, if you really want to talk to this girl, badly, I'd advise you to pick some common ground. Something that you're both interested in, or mainly, that's she's interested in. That way, she'll be the one doing the talking, and you can do the listening.

 

Hope this helps...

[Desperatelover76]

Thirdly, if you really want to talk to this girl, badly, I'd advise you to pick some common ground. Something that you're both interested in, or mainly, that's she's interested in. That way, she'll be the one doing the talking, and you can do the listening.

 

I couldn't put it antway, i used this advice and i got a gilfriend easy but that was 3 years ago havn't really thought about using it recently.

[NR498E]

Bah...your never too young to be thinking about aquiring a girlfriend.All you can do my friend is start talking to them.It's scary and intimidating but it is the only way.

[gstylez07]

at 14 a girlfriend is the last thing you want. I know it seems like you need one....but you REALLY dont want one!!!

 

I had my first serious relationship when I first turned seventeen....I learned alot in that one relationship...about sex, love, emotions......and I also learned about the hassle and the pain involved.

 

At fourteen you need to be worrying about just making friends doing your schoolwork and having fun. A simple relationship is ok....but you shouldnt devote yourself to any real relationship....it can be very hard and painful sometimes, best to start slow and just make alot of friends....things will fall into place, you will get a girl when you arent even looking for one.

 

If you have trouble talking to girls and such, the best way to learn is to practice. Social skills can be very hard for some and easy for others. Just talk more....get to know some of them. I wish I could help you more....but its really up to you. Go for it!!!

[ShySoul]

Fourteen may be young to worry about a serious relationship, and you should focus on just having fun and growing yourself. But its not too young to be having feelings for someone and wonder what to do.

 

Talking to girls is the same as talking to guys, the person you are talking to just happens to look a lot better.

 

Just go up to her and introduce yourself. Try to get to know each other. To make it easier, try to find something in common or something you can ask her about to lead into a conversation.

[Asphyxia]

if your even somewhat friends with anyone that ever talks to her, then you should be able to talk with her somehow.

I dont think you should worry or feel pressured to get a girlfriend.. or at least dont go out of your way to do something your not ready for, just to make yourself be like "the rest". I dont get people these days, nobody really wants to be in love, it probably comes down to * * * *ing most of the time these days

[anonymous1990]

haha dude, let me tell you, i felt the exact same way, and im only a year older than you. I just got into my first serious relationship and its not everything you imagine its going to be believe me. Especially since its her first relationship ever too, its a hell of a bumpy ride and sometimes im not convinced it's worth it. Every day is just up, down, up down and i realize how little I appreciated the wonderfull life and circle of friends i built for myself before the concern of a girlfriend. Because thats what it is sometimes -a concern. Because you can't take the relationship farther than that, it has to last. I'm only still in the relationship because I don't give up on what i start and don't want to hurt her feelings (plus ive received various threats about if i do) and thereforeeee am going to try to keep it steady until were older. But dude, no rush. No freaking rush. Just think about how you would go about pleasing and keeping your girlfriend. And worrying about losing her? Worrying about if you're getting used? The list goes on bro, just imagine it from a different point of view. Whatever you decide to do, good luck to ya, cheers

[easyguy]

Javier,

 

If it makes you feel any better, I'm 19 and am in the same position as you, but I am rather content with being single.

 

Mid way through high school, I began asking myself the same question, "Why don't I have a girlfriend yet?" Then, for the next couple of years, I was constantly distracted -- focusing less on getting through school with good grades, making friends, living life to the fullest -- and more on why I was still single. Then it hit me: I shouldn't let it get to me.

 

Many young people such as yourself come up with the equation, Girlfriend = Happiness. Just from hearing stories and being around people who are in serious relationships, it's a bumpy road. Besides, high school relationships are rarely that serious. At your age, people are experimenting, trying new things. After your senior year, you won't be seeing very many familiar faces once you get to college, if any. I bet if you interviewed every boy at your school who is in a relationship, I would be willing to bet that their girlfriends are only part of what makes them happy. If you rely on a partner for total happiness, you're setting yourself up for a disaster.

 

Just do the things you enjoy doing, make friends, make enemies, be a kid. When a girl comes along, it will be natural, and well worth the wait. Peer pressure is a beast to fight, I know. I overcame it, and was glad I did.

 

And the only way to overcome shyness is to just do it. Kobe Bryant didn't sit in his room all day complaining about how he would never be a great player. He simply started practicing and doing what was needed to improve his skills, and look at him now-- one of the best players in the NBA right now. The same applies to meeting people and interacting. The more you do it, the easier it gets and the more natural it will feel. I used to be super shy around girls, but now I am more relaxed around them because I threw myself out there and stepped out of my comfort zone, improving my social skills by simply TALKING. There is no real shortcut around it.