Why do I need a woman?

[antigravity]

I'm starting to worry about myself and my willingness to be single/alone.

 

I'm only ever truly happy and content when I'm with a woman. I love cuddling, and holding a woman and being intimate in that way. Without one in my life, I get feel down and my confidence drops

 

About 6mths ago my first ever relationship (which lasted 5 years) ended, and I've been with 2 girls since then. I ended it with the first one because she didn't ever want to go anywhere, just wanted to sit around, and the second one we got along perfectly (we fell in love). But she had tickets booked to travel overseas, and she left over 1 week ago. We have plans for me to go overseas and travel with her in about 6mths. She'll be overseas for 3+ years studying though

 

I still speak to all three girls (incl. the ex) because for some reason I can never let them go. I need them around.

 

What I'm worried about is why can't I be happy without a woman? Why do I feel like I need a female in my life to be happy, to feel confident in my own worth?

 

I am confident in being a good hearted person, but over the past 3mths i've been told i'm "Hot" and "cute" countless times, but every time I go anywhere, I still think i'm the ugliest guy in the room, and no-one will ever be interested in me in a romantic way. The only time I feel attractive or worth anything is when a girl is in my life.

 

What can I do to change thinking like this?! How can I stop wanting a woman to feel good?

 

Please help!

[chai714]

Anti,

 

I think you need to step back and try to look at this in a different way. Think of it like this: most people in the United States are conditioned to think in this way: go to school, go to college, get a good job, get married, have children, have grandchildren, die of "natural causes" at a very old age.

 

Note that most of this "plan" involves having a partner. What this plan doesn't address is how to make yourself happy while you're in between women. This is an important one. Engage in activities which make you feel good about yourself. Fill your life with activities which raise your self-esteem. Some good examples are working out, volunteering at a hospital, coaching a sport, mentoring a child, getting involved in a team sport, keeping a journal, setting personal goals and achieving them (these can be anything such as running a mile in under 6 minutes, volunteering for 100 hours, completing a project under "x" amount of time (set a deadline for yourself and meet it), or anything that interests you and can benefit you emotionally, physically, financially, or any combination of those three.

 

Don't think for a second that your life should revolve around a woman. Dating and women are part of life, but a vital part in obtaining a meaningful relationship is having a good personal life outside of that relationship. Good luck.

[fantasia2004]

Gosh that is something I really to think about in perspective

[Steven1607307306]

i've been told i'm "Hot" and "cute" countless times, but every time I go anywhere, I still think i'm the ugliest guy in the room, and no-one will ever be interested in me in a romantic way. The only time I feel attractive or worth anything is when a girl is in my life.

 

How many times have I felt the EXACT same way? Change your self image... if people tell you you're "hot" or "cute," then believe them and don't think that you aren't. From your attitude, you seem like a pretty confident guy, and women love confidence. As long as you stay confident with yourself, and not feel like the ugliest person in the room, then you will always have somone in your life. It takes time to find that one girl with whom you can be romantic with, so just keep trying. As for not being able to let go...that's just somthing you have to do if you plan on moving forward in relationships.

 

I'm not going to tell you that you DON'T need women in your ife, because I feel the exact same way. When I'm single, I feel like I'm the only one, and I think that I will never find the right one. All I can tell ou there is keep searching. I did, and I fell in love with the girl I was praying for my whole life. Good luck to you!