Shes mad at me. whats wrong with her?

[Strictly4MyGrind]

I dont know what ive done really or whats happening with me and her, my gf.

 

Shes has been really cold towards me and just been completely off with me this week, well for longer but these weeks the worst. We be ok, well she will be fine with me all happy, and then one little thing and shel completely flip.

 

Im really unsure whats happpening and well i am feeling quite depressed.

 

Shes currently not talking to me, and if i try to talk to her, i get one word answers, or very cold and nasty replies.

 

Thing is, she isnt communicating with me properly and hasnt been so i have no idea whats wrong. And when i ask her now all i get is "whats the point in telling you whats wrong when you cant see it for yourself".

 

Hasnt been talking to me for about 2days now. That day had a very bad argument, and all i got from her was "leave me alone". That day she said i didnt give a S*** for her feelings, which hurt alot because that is not true. she hasnt really talked to me since. I asked her if she still wanted to be with me and she said yes she does. But i know shes not happy. Im so confused.

 

I tried to talk to her but no luck. Diffrent person. I feel like im the problem to her. and well. what to do?

 

Shall i leave and wait and see what happens? how can i get her to tell me what is wrong! Im slowly going insane. help if you can. any advice apreciated. sorry for long post

[deRocket5]

well, how long have you two been dating? has she done this kind of thing in the past, just less severe? and did anything significant happen just before she turned this way, either this time or in the past?

 

-derocket5-

[phaseone]

What you described sounds so very familiar. If you have been dating for a very long time, IMO women tend to expect you to know what they are feelings or know what you did wrong. It pisses them more off that you have no clue what you did. I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong but she may have a different perception.

 

Depending on how she copes with anger, you could give her some space? Some girls like to talk about it right away and want you to keep probing them or at least approaching them with what you think you did wrong.

 

Good Luck!

[karchino]

Just leave her alone for a while.As long as she knows she can talk to you, she will get back to you. Do not try to "force" her to talk, that would have the wrong effect. She should be very happy with you that you worry so much about her! But give her some space. And try not to worry too much about it, maybe it has absolutely nothing to do with you, is she just stressed because of school/work, could be lots of other reasons.

[PersonalGrowth]

First, I have to call you on your post title - "She's mad at me, what's wrong with her?" There may be a clue in there as to why she doesn't feel heard when she talks to you.

 

I'm guessing she feels hurt by something you said or didn't say, did or didn't do. Whatever the trigger, you didn't hurt her intentionally, though her hurt feelings are still valid.

 

Perhaps she will open up to you if she feels that you will HEAR her. By that I mean, when she talks to you turn your full attention to her and force yourself to hold back the instinct to defend yourself or explain why you did/didn't do/say whatever it is that has her feeling hurt. This will be especially difficult to do if your gf communicates in a blaming way instead of in a feeling way. Also try to resist the urge to turn what she says around into what she did/said to hurt you first which caused you to say/do the thing that bothered her. Listen for the root of what is behind her accusations and be open to the possibility that you may have room for improvement in the way that you communicate/act with her. Let her talk and say all she needs to without interrupting. After that, thank her for trusting you enough to open up to you, apologize for having hurt her and let her know that you would never hurt her intentionally.

 

Good luck.