angelbaby11092 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Hi my name is Diamond..I have a problem and I need some help.I am 20 years old and I have told my parents that I am Bi-sexual about 4 months ago. They reacted to it not the way I had hoped.They didn't talk to me and they constantly fought with me about. I have had a girlfriend now for 4 months now and she wants me to move in with her, but the thing is she lives in florida and I live in california.I am ready to be with her but I have certain things imma be leaving behind over here to be with her.thats a risk i am willing to make. My parents have tried calling her to tell her to break up with me so i can stay here. My parents dont accept me and her being together....but I want to prove to my parents I am old enough to be on my own and I want to prove to them I am going to start my life and career. I just want the chance.....I have gotten a plane ticket to fly over to florida but they dont know it...I was wondering if anyone can give me some adivce if its ok to leave? I have never dont anything like this before and I really need help fast immabe leaving in a few days. thank you very much if anyone can help me sncerly....diamond Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 My parents dont accept me and her being together....but I want to prove to my parents I am old enough to be on my own and I want to prove to them I am going to start my life and career. Welcome to ENA! Whatever you decide, do it for you, not to prove something to your parents...or anyone else for that matter... Really think about what you're doing here. Talk to your parents too, let them know exactly how you feel. Link to comment
angelbaby11092 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 I have thought really hard about it..and my girlfriend said she would take care of me and re-assures me everyday that everything is going to be ok..I just want to know if its ok to do something like this to be out on my own without having my parents constantly fighting with me and kissing my butt everyday to get me to stay here. i love them to death and i know they love me but I just want a chance to start living my life out on my own..im just scared that if i tell my parents im leaving they will try to stop me and then things will get worse.... Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Well, you've thought it out, made a decision, go for it! Your parents might try to stop you, but they can't really. You just need to focus on assuring them you thought this out, everything will be fine, and you'll let them know how you are doing when you get there. Tell them you really feel you should do this and are going to do it at any rate, and would really like their support... Link to comment
angelbaby11092 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 ok.....so I should go for it right? because I wont know when I will be able to get another chance right? I mean its about taking that chance and being able to be out on my own...Im just scared that my parents will try to hunt me down and ruin it for me. Thats something I dont want...will my parents reject me or not love me anymore by disobeying then? mean im 20 years old and I need to start living my life. Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I say go for it. Just be careful to preserve a good relationship with your parents... Do you really think your folks will "hunt you down"????? Tell them this. Tell them they are being too controlling is this does come up... Link to comment
angelbaby11092 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 Im not sure if my parents will try to go to florida to try to get me to go back home or not...but should I write a letter and leave it for them to read the day I leave when im already on my way..or should I call them when I get there?? If i write a letter should I tell them not to try to bring me home? i really appreciate the help and support and your advice thank you thank you thank you very much Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Im not sure if my parents will try to go to florida to try to get me to go back home or not...but should I write a letter and leave it for them to read the day I leave when im already on my way..or should I call them when I get there?? If i write a letter should I tell them not to try to bring me home? i really appreciate the help and support and your advice thank you thank you thank you very much I'd try talking face-to-face first...see how that goes... If that doesn't work, I'd leave the letter and then call when you get down there...maybe play the sympathy card telling them how much you miss them...but I wouldn't tell them exactly where you are though...at first anyway until the dust settles... Link to comment
angelbaby11092 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 I tried the face to face thing and they just wont let me go....i've been fighting with them about this for about 2 months about them letting me go..and they have gottne a detective to find out information on my girlfriend and that sucks..cuz then they will know where imma be staying at. I dont understand it..yes parents are suppose to be protective of their children but I think this is way too controlling of my life of who I can be with and who can't be with.my parents didn't even want the chance to get to know my girlfriend and they judge that she is gonna influence me on doing wrong.... Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I say do what you feel you need to do then. Write the letter, tell them how bad you feel about leaving under these conditions, tell them you love them, and ask them to be there for you... They are controlling. That's no good. But they are this way because they love you and don't want to see you get hurt...remember that... It's common for parents who raised a child their whole life to have trouble letting go... Good luck on your journey! Link to comment
angelbaby11092 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 ok.thank you for all your help and advice i really really appreciate it.sincerly,diamond Link to comment
sonjam Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Girl, I would advise against it. You have to remember, you cannot build your life on someone else's charity. Even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment, things can go wrong, then you will be 1. far from home 2. no job 3. no money 4. no friends. If you really have to make a move like this, first find a job, and a support structure over there, other than your gf. It's not good to be totally reliant on another person you have only been seeing for 4 months. Link to comment
angelbaby11092 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 I know it doesn't seem rigt...but the thing is I can't stand being with parents that wont let me make my own decisions and controll me in everythng I do. If they love me like the say they do then they should respect my decision on wanting to be happy with the person that is making me happy..... Link to comment
angelbaby11092 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 I have talked to alot of close friends and all of them say go for it....i guess Im scared becuz this is the fist big thing that I have done with disobeying my parents but the thing is Im not gona be able to live my life if I continue to live with my parents.... Link to comment
Suad Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 You should do what you feel to do BUT what you feel OUT of your fears. I can understand your doubts & worries, & don`t even try to get rid of them. You will always worry about what your parents think, & about consequences of every decision of yours. But don`t make their worries of you your lifeline. Don`t let your own fears get over you. At the end of all, it`s not such a big deal to leave parents when you are 20. You will understand it later. Life is full of risks. Just don`t make parents worry more then they do. Leave the letter for them, don`t forget to contact them to say that everything is OKay. Remember that every problem in this life is solvable, you have a right to change your decision any time & do whatever you think is right & good for you. Also, your girlfriend gonna take care of you... I advise you to take care of you yourself too, & of cuz take care of your girlfriend. Link to comment
angelbaby11092 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 Ok so its ok to leave home right...i mean whats the worst that gonna happen right them being mad at me fora little bit. I want to be happy and my girlfriend said she was gonna take care of me no mater what and she said she wouldn't let anything happen to me. So you dont think its wrong to leave out of the blue? cuz if i tell them they are going to stop me. so just leave a letter and call them once i get there right? Link to comment
sddeaston Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 If YOU want something, then YOU do it. I deal with parents trying to tell me what to do and why as well. I am 23 years old and can make those decisions my damn self. If you don't do something you want to do, you may regret it Be careful though, the promises from your girlfriend are only words...whether you two are in the best relationship in the world or not, she can not guarantee anything. But, that should not deterr you away from doing it. If you make the decision to go there, you need to be doing it for yourself. If that is the case, and you move and things dont work out, you will be fine...AND in a new exciting place. What you need to think about is just that. What happens if things don't work out? Hopefully they do, and hopefully you will be happy with whatever you decide to do, but from me to you, do what you want, not what your parents want...you can do anything. Good luck!! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now