I like my friend, she likes me. But she is afraid. How do I make her feel comfortable

[Sam _]

I was kind of denying that I have a crush on my friend, Kristin (why I was denying it I don't know). She knows that I like her and has told one of our friends, Tabby, that she is starting to like me more than a friend. But she is afraid of potentially ruining our friendship if we break up. I have the same fear.

 

I like her a lot and want to start a relationship with her if it's possible. But I am not sure on how to make her feel more comfortable and know that our friendship will not deminish just because we break up. Can anyone please tell me how I can let her know this?

[melrich]

You probabaly can't make that promise to her. Fact is if you start a relationship it does change the dynamics between you and if you were to break up you can't just magically go back to what it was before.

 

Being in a relationship entails a certain amount of risk. This is just one of them. What you should try and convince her of is that the risk is worth taking.

[Sam _]

You probabaly can't make that promise to her. Fact is if you start a relationship it does change the dynamics between you and if you were to break up you can't just magically go back to what it was before.

 

Being in a relationship entails a certain amount of risk. This is just one of them. What you should try and convince her of is that the risk is worth taking.

 

Okay. How do I convince her that the risk is worth taking?

[melrich]

Well the first thing I would point out is that she will face these choices all her life. If she keeps deciding not to go out with someone because this may happen or that may happen then she'll never get into a relationship.

 

But i don't really know how it is between you too so it is hard to give advice.

[Sam _]

Well the first thing I would point out is that she will face these choices all her life. If she keeps deciding not to go out with someone because this may happen or that may happen then she'll never get into a relationship.

 

But i don't really know how it is between you too so it is hard to give advice.

 

What do you mean by "how it is between us"? Like, are we flirty or close? (I'm sorry if I sound agitated or something. I'm not )

[melrich]

I mean how close are you two as friends. Do you flirt at all between each other etc.

 

I mean really the equation is pretty simple from what you have posted, you seem to like each other...ask her on a date. If she says she doesn't want to risk the friendship let her know that there are risks in everything. If we don't take risks we basically do nothing.

[Sam _]

I mean how close are you two as friends. Do you flirt at all between each other etc.

 

I mean really the equation is pretty simple from what you have posted, you seem to like each other...ask her on a date. If she says she doesn't want to risk the friendship let her know that there are risks in everything. If we don't take risks we basically do nothing.

 

We are a little close. We're not very close, but we're not distant. We're right in between. We flirt with each other all the time.