can anyone help?

[truthbetold]

Alright, this might be a long post but maybe someone will be able to comfort me. I just went to the doctors yesterday (because I'm pregnant) and they found out from my ultrasound that I have a cyst on my right ovary. They told me I have to talk to my doctor on Monday and it's making me really nervous. My mom told me I shouldn't worry about it as well as my dad, and my friends keep telling me how common it is. Oh let me just say I hate doctors and I am DEATHLY afraid of surgery. Because of this fear I am getting really stressed out about the cyst. They said it's 6cm big, and I think that's big, but my mom said her friend had one the size of a grapefruit! Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone could try and cheer me up or help me to relax..

 

On top of everything else, I'm having family problems in which me and my mother have been at each others throats and I barely talk to my father. I went to them for comfort, but they didn't do much. My boyfriend hasn't really done much to comfort me either, me and him have had some really big problems lately. All he told me is not to worry and he will be there to support me during my next appointment.

 

Furthermore my hormones are kicking my * * *. I had some questions I wanted to ask my nurse but after she told me that I had the cyst I forgot everything I was going to say. First I have been assured that my bad dreams are only due to stress and hormones. But I keep having dreams that I'm cheating on my boyfriend! That can't just be hormones! In reality I love him with all my heart and I would never do anything like that to hurt him, but in my dreams I couldn't care less who I'm sleeping with until I see him or hear from him then I get stressed out. I wake up and tell myself it's only a dream, but the latest one seemed more like a preminition. It's hard to describe how without getting into everything, but lets just say at the very least i'm pregnant and it was after the baby was born because my boyfriend had it in a stroller with his two other kids walking down the street with me then i went to some house and screwed some guy and he like knew about it...

 

Lastly, I have never ever felt suicidal but lately I have felt like killing myself. I told my mom and she told me that it's hormones and I should ask my doctor if there's anything I could do about it. Plus I really need to find away to relax because I'm always stressed out and that is not good for the baby. It's just really hard because like everything seems to be going wrong in my life. I have no car, no job even though I keep applying, and my family hates my boyfriend (pretty much for making me pregnant but there's some other micellaneous stuff thrown in there) and me and my boyfriend get along as long as I'm not talking to him about anything important, because if it's important he doesn't want to hear it. And when I try and talk to him he just like ignores me and doesn't say anything unless it's are you done yet? Which is really not the right thing to say to someone who is already upset. Anyways, thanks to anyone who does read this and can offer any advice on how to cope or relax. If you have anything bad to say, or negative, I would appreciate if you don't say it unless you REALLY sugar coat it, I'm just not in the mood to hear bad news today.

[pumpkinjam]

yes it can all be down to hormones. your partner seems to be a bit like mine in that he won't talk about important stuff. you should be taking it easy. to be honest, there is very little point in applying for jobs while you're pregnant and that would be one less thing on your mind. your family need to be there to support you through all this. but if they won't, most nurses, midwives, etc. are very understanding and most will listen to your problems. hope that is positive enough for you! good luck with the baby and everything. make sure you get support because(sorry)this could easily become post natal depression and no support will make everything a whole lot worse. do you have friends with kids? they'll be a big help too.

[truthbetold]

My parents claim they support me but keep putting me down and telling me they can't buy everything for the baby and that I need a job. I have a friend who is 3 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy and I have one who has had a child but we barely talked, I've been trying to talk to her more tho. Alot of my friends have told me they will support me and almost everyone I know keeps asking if they are going to be invited to the baby shower because they would love to go. I know it's almost pointless to get a job now, but I don't show yet and I do need some money. This pregnancy was pretty much an oops, and I had a job for almost 3 years but my car broke down and I was no longer able to get myself the 20 minutes away for it. Thanks for the help tho, I need it!

 

BTW I do fear that I will end up with post partum depression just because of how I have been feeling lately. Right now I love the fact that I have seen my baby in the ultrasound, and I have heard it's heartbeat, but I think that after it comes out I might despise it for making my family hate me. Because I know they wouldn't "hate" me if it weren't for the pregnancy. My dad told me yesterday he is not mad at me, but he is disappointed in the way things are going, and I can't blame him, I'm not happy either but I can't do anything about it, and it's not like he's helping me nor supporting me.

[stolenshadow]

Post partum depression is very common, it happens even if there are no "issues" going on, but you shouldn't worry about it now, and if you do get it you'll also recover.

 

Maybe there are things you can do at home so your parents don't feel concerned with helping you out, they obviously love you but might be as stressed as you, so maybe you can just help with small things around the house (if you don't already) or look for a very easy job near where you live and with people who are known to you, of course, it's not essential, but if you think not having a job and money cause you stress it might help.

 

Your situation is not easy but try to just go with the flow, things can't always be perfect but they happen for a reason, think of the good things only, don't go over the bad or sad things, if things worrying you have a solution then great if not let them go and concentrate on being okay for your baby.

 

Best Wishes.

[make_up_your_mind]

Dear truthbetold,

 

Your avatar says you want the truth to be heard even if it hurts you...i will tell you the truth, but it aint gonna hurt you.

My sister (26 years ....wait...no...27...lol) had the same problem. She had a cyst on her ovary. She went through like a year or something or other of appointments and stuff. In the end, she had surgery, and it's removed now or something. Anyway, ask your doctors what they can/will do about it.

 

Anyways, your parents are very stressed at this, of course. All parents become stressed when this thing happens. But, once the baby has arrived, they are gonna change so much. They will realise that this is their grandaughter or grandson or grandwhatever. And they will love him/her/it (lol). Trust me about this. Also, forget jobs. A mother doesn't need a job. How rich is your family? I'm sure if they are middle, then they will provide all you need. But, if your family poor (i doubt it as you use a computer), then maybe you will need to depend also on your boyfriend...you should also try for like matuernity pay or something from government. I'm sure they will provide someone in your position with payments (unless you live in Zimbabwe or something...but i doubt you do cos you speak English and use a computer.). Anyway, don't worry. Be happy. When the baby is born, invite everyone. Lots of glitter etc... Your boyfriend will actually start caring, once his male brain registers the baby (lol, im male...we males like this sometimes...it's just male nature). He will love it (her or him...) and will provide etc..

Now, about the depression, don't worry. Be happy. If you feel it coming on, immediately go at once to a doctor, therapist and seek advice, help...because you dont want to leave your baby alone in the world...just selfish.

Anyway, you'll be fine. See therapist sometime. they help. and get your boyfriend to love you...if he a bit blank....leave him alone for now...see your female friends and cuddle up to them etc... and get tons and tons of love from them....and you all can be happy cuddly lovebears, with those little hearts on your bellies.....or is it...happy bears? Share bears? Dunno....something or other. Sweet dreams.

 

 

Also, where do you ACTUALLY live btw?

lemme guess...... U.S.A? or

....................... U.S.S.R?

[truthbetold]

Thanks for the responses!

 

First I have been helping out at home cleaning up, cooking, babysitting. Yes I was looking for an easy job near home, Dunkin Donuts, and Subway I've applied to because they are pretty close to my house. Because not having a job or money does stress me out. My friends have been taking me out to the movies, out to eat, etc. but they always pay for me and it makes me feel bad.

 

Second, I am going to the doctors Monday because they want to talk to me about my cyst. I just really don't like the idea of surgery, I am so afraid of it. I do live in USA by the way. I'm sure my family will come to love the baby, but right now well it's not born they can't deal with it, and it stresses me out. I do come from a middle class family although my dad has a substancial amount more money then my mother whom I live with. I know they will help me out and do things for the baby and love it regardless of if they are fond of it's father or not. I've looked into some government assistance, but I also feel bad about using it because I know if I had a job I could help myself...maybe, but sometimes I guess you just have to accept help when it comes. And I'm not sure but is it the CareBears your talking about? I'm trying to give my boyfriend some space but not too much, I don't want things to get worse between us. Actually he has a doctors appointment to go to tomorrow that I'm going with him for, we've been going together because the first time he asked me to and this time I asked him if he wanted me there, he said yes, so I'm hoping this is a good sign.

 

Thanks again everyone.

[pumpkinjam]

just wanted to add a little note for you. i had my first child at 19. i had plenty of support then but with my second, i had not much support at all and ended up really depressed. don't know much about the cyst thing though. i think you can find my email address on my profile somewhere if you just want someone to have a chat with. don't think you are alone.

[tyler711]

My fiancee had a cyst on her left ovary the size of a lemon. She had it for a few weeks, then it disappeared. The docs said the surgery for it is very simple, hour long procedure.