Ex: So what did you do for Valentines...? + NEW GIRLFRIEND DEPRESSION!

[Hunny1607307342]

Hey, this is the BREAK DOWN OVER NEW GIRLFRIEND update! My ex who I was never really 'official' with anyway, got a girlfriend just a few days(!!) after he decided we should be 'just friends'.

 

Went back to college and saw HIM. We talked about what we did over half term etc. and I listened to all your advice about NOT asking him what he did for Valentines Day! (Even though I was dying to know!) AND I didn't mention anything about finding out he has a new girlfriend either. Didn't want to seem like I cared. But HE says, "So...Valentines Day? What did you do?" I told him I went to Hawaii as a joke "And yourself?" ...he looked a bit uncomfortable for a second, and told me he's going out with this girl called Holly, and that on Valentines Day he went to dinner with her, but he kept reinforcing "it's nothing serious though, it's not anything serious".

 

Why do you think he said that??

My reactions were just standard nods as to say 'cool'. Is that okay?

(Don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound like I'm clinging onto hope that he'll get back with me; I wouldn't get back with him anyway. Honestly that's not what I'm thinking, what I AM desperately clinging onto, is hope that he actually felt something for me ONCE, and that he still cares just a tiny bit. Recognises that there's history between us. Because the way he broke up with me so suddenly, made me think all those wonderful things he told me were lies: he didn't seem AT ALL upset, just guilty and it felt like he never cared about me in the first place.)

[Mrocza]

Er, I think he asked for a reason. Expecting you to say you did something with some guy- hence he asked, then looked uncomfortable at your neutral response and guilty at his- "it was nothing serious."

 

Hopefully you reacted neutral. Don't take it too seriously. YOU didn;t ask, HE did. He was curious about YOU. Either way, he broke up with you and now he's dating so maybe you should stop clinging to that thread of hope. If he hasn't shown any initiative towards you and is dating again, he's moved on.

 

Sorry for being blunt.

[Hunny1607307342]

Hey thank you for your advice. But like I said I'm not clinging onto hope that wants to get back with me; I just want to be sure that our relationship WAS actually a relationship, rather just simply 'messing about' and that he did actually care for ME too.

Thanks though

[Ash]

I wonder if his question about what you did on Valentine's Day was a way for him to tell you he was going out with somebody. He had to know you'd ask the question back, and maybe that was the way he chose to open that thread of the conversation. And, not meaning to be hurtful or harsh, he may have already had her in mind when he broke up with you, hence the apparent speed in meeting her.

 

I'm sure he felt something for you once, you can pretty much take that to the bank. It may be that the simpliest way for you to put that to rest in your mind is to ask him outright, making sure not to phrase it in such a way as you're looking to get back together. And, if he's at all sensitive and caring, you might be surprised with what he may actually still feel for you. It doesn't sound like you ended on a bad not, and he may still be struggling with feelings. It certainly doesn't sound like he's gone cold, so I would really have to guess there are feelings. (That was a discussion I had with an ex once and she actually got very upset to think that there was ever a suggestion that she still didn't care for me very deeply)

[Mrocza]

Hey thank you for your advice. But like I said I'm not clinging onto hope that wants to get back with me; I just want to be sure that our relationship WAS actually a relationship, rather just simply 'messing about' and that he did actually care for ME too.

Thanks though

 

oops, I guess I kind of read it backwards.

 

Anyways, I do think he asked to see if you were dating someone else.

[metalheart]

Hi hunny its me again...

 

I read your post and all i can say to you its: DON'T LET HIM SEE YOUR HURT..

 

Just think about this: WHY IN THE GODS NAME, HE HAD TO ASK YOU HOW WENT YOUR V-DAY IF HE WASN'T THERE WITH YOU!?

 

Even if it was a try to be polite with you, he already know that you'll ending asking about him, so what's his point: " to show you his new conquest"? .

 

I read that he told you in repeated times that this girl aren't something serious and maybe its true but if i were you won't trust so easily to him, and be more cautious about what to say to him and what not.

 

Take Care and remember: Don't let him see that you're jealous/sad/angry with him.. If he doesn't want it do that, first didn't have to dump you.

 

Anyway, keep posting here.. it will help you to see the things from another points of view. Good Luck

[Hunny1607307342]

Heyya thanks so much for your advice, thats exactly the motto I had in my head, I kept saying to myself "you don't care...you don't care!" while I was talking to him. That's why I didn't ask him first. But when he told me about his gf, I didn't know what to do other than just nod as to say ok cool... but I went a bit quiet. Oh and I asked which college she goes to. I hope I didn't seem sad or anything! And you're right I can't trust him one bit, I don't know what he says are lies and what aren't. He's still a bit of a flirt sometimes too. He's SUCH a confusing guy, ironically just what I didn't want as my first bf...but anyways thanks and I'll post again if I'm in confusion !

[Itsok]

Hi Hunny,

 

I'm sure the relationship did mean something to him, it was just time for the two of you to part ways.

 

Everyone has a point in their life where they think, "this just isn't right anymore" and it's no one's fault. The two part ways, but it's completely alright in the end.

 

This is just a test of strength, and, if I may say so, you are passing with flying colors my friend