in_doubt Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 umm ok, well i just did something reeeaaally stupid i logged in my bf's old email account, he blocked n deleted everyone on that list..as i was going through the list i remember him telling me about a girl he was sort of 'seeing' so out of curiosity i added her back to his list..no surprise she msged immediately and started talking, saying how its been soooo long since they last spoke. I know at that point i should have blocked her and got off his account but the evil voice in my head just wouldnt let me So i pretended to be him and starting talking to her, then i asked her a few questions that i needed to know but the whole time she thought it was him talking. By the way she was replying..i could tell she was still interested in him grrrrrrrrrr Anyways, so then i asked her some questions and he responses actually surprised me..because my bf told me they stopped talking because she was waaaay too clingy and annoying, and that she use to always call him and annoy him so he got sick of her and stopped talking to her. She however said something completely different, the reason why they stopped talking was because my bf was waaay too strict, like he didnt want her going out, or drinking or smoking or talking to any other guys.. I was reading a few of the emails he sent her and in one of them he said he will always love her. Im in a extremly baaad position right now because i know i can not bring this up with my bf or ask him any questions about it because i should not have been on his account pretending to be him. Why did he lie to me about why they stopped talking? and is there any way he will find out what i did, im really starting to regret what i did..and i wish i never found out what i just did. It just made me feel a million times more insecure then i already was. Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Wow. As good as it is to find out the truth you should not have invaded your bfs privacy to do so. You should trust your partner. Maybe the reason he gave you for everything being over wasn't true but the fact still remains that it is over. No one wants to admit that they were doing something wrong in a relationship when it doesn't work out. How many guys do you know who would say "Oh I just didn't want to commit and I was a real jerk all of the time"? Not only did they break up but he blocked her and does not contact her at all. Could he do anything more for you to trust him? I mean, really. You should block her back from his list and tell him the truth. He needs to be prepared if she calls him up or something. Apologize for being insecure and tell him you will never invade his privacy again because you trust him. Don't expect for him to be happy but don't you dare lie to him when that's something you don't want him doing to you. Link to comment
WildChild Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Well you can't undo the past. I wouldn't suggest doing that again because you may have now a opened pandora's box. I am curious as to what will happen now that she is blocked again (you did reblock her, right?) what her reaction is going to be. What if she tries contacting him in other means to ask why he blocked her again? As for him telling you a different story, that may be his perception of how the event went down. It takes a lot of insight within one's self to acknowledge your own faults in a relationship, and he may not feel he had any. Plus even if he knows he was doing this, how much luck would he have meeting new people if he told them "OK I am very strict in a relationship." Or it may be her version of how it went down. Maybe he doesn't like smoking and drinking, she knew that when they met and still chose to do it. Or maybe her going out and talking with other men was not as innocent as she makes it out to sound. He blocked her for a reason and you are going to have to swallow your own medicine on this one. I can't say this for certain, but I wouldn't be surprised if your "little chat" with her eventually comes out. Link to comment
in_doubt Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 I am curious as to what will happen now that she is blocked again (you did reblock her, right?) what her reaction is going to be. What if she tries contacting him in other means to ask why he blocked her again? Ok well yes i did unblock her while i was chatting with her, but as i was pretending to be him i told her that i do have a gf now and that we have been together for a while. She responded with a 'im very happy for you' and all i said before i logged off after a long conversation was that i wish her luck and to takecare, so then i blocked her and logged out I feel sooo horrible right now. I dont know what to think, she wont try to contact him now will she? Her knowing he has a girlfrield..why would she bother, right? Link to comment
WildChild Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Well, like I said I can't say for certain but if you told her what you did, she may not now. Do you all live close to one another? Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I dont know what to think, she wont try to contact him now will she? Her knowing he has a girlfrield..why would she bother, right? Not everyone is respectful of the fact that their ex has found someone new. Don't put it past her to contact your bf and inquire as to what is going on. I still say you should tell your bf what happened so that he isn't lost if she were to contact him. Plus, if you want him to be honest you have to be honest with him too. Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Why did he lie to me about why they stopped talking? and is there any way he will find out what i did, im really starting to regret what i did..and i wish i never found out what i just did. It just made me feel a million times more insecure then i already was. He didn't lied to you, that is only his side of the story, now you've heard both sides of it. I think that what you've done has been extremely disrespectfull. Imagine if your bf chased down everyone else you dated to find out what happened, and then get mad at you for... nothing! Link to comment
in_doubt Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 Well, like I said I can't say for certain but if you told her what you did, she may not now. Do you all live close to one another? I live close to him, but she lives 30 minutes away. The thing that is sort of starting to get me even more worried is the fact that she is friends with his friends, even though he does not speak to them any longer..just a hi and bye, but that could still be a bit dangerious for me at the moment. I wiiiish so badly i could be honest with him, but knowing him i know he will most likely end up breaking up with me because he hates the fact of me not being able to trust him. As for me even snooping around his personal life, and talking to people he hasnt spoken to in years, well that will just had more fuel to the fire that i already created. I hope im an example to anyone who snoops around..believe me, its not worth it, let the past be the past and dont bring it into the present because it can ruin the future Link to comment
justpaisley Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Wow, you don't trust him at all, do you? First, you invade his privacy to snoop through his stuff, then you believe his ex-girlfriend over him. What has he done to you to make you completely lose trust in him? You've got to start trusting him. If I were you, I'd come clean to him, let him know everything you did. If you want to have an open, honest relationship, you have to be open and honest. He did nothing wrong here, so you have no reason to be angry with him. Link to comment
Bethany Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I think from the conversation with her that you should be feeling more secure. However because you did this, you may very well be caught out and that's when your real insecurities will start. I am not sure if I could ever trust someone who did this to me, however insecure they were feeling and feel that they should have trusted me. Saying that, I am not sure that it would be enough to end the relationship and would need time to think it over and what I said and I think your BF will probably feel the same. I would make sure that she is still blocked and try to calm down and think long and hard at whether you should confess. But if he discovers what you did, don't deny it, apologise and give your reasons. But then it's up to him to think about and decide if your reasons were valid and whether he should continue with this relationship due to the lack of trust. Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I wiiiish so badly i could be honest with him, but knowing him i know he will most likely end up breaking up with me because he hates the fact of me not being able to trust him. You need to accept that either you trust him or you don't. If you can't trust him enough to love you despite your screw ups than you are not going to work out. You've got to be honest with him not matter how scared you are because that fear is only going to hinder your relationship. Tell him that coming to him with the truth is you trusting him not to break up with you. Start trusting him or else your relationship is doomed. Link to comment
Ash Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Your conversation with her sounds a bit odd. How on earth would you phrase questions about why the two of them split up without appearing to be somebody else? I mean, if you were really him, you'd already know the answers for the most part, right? That considered, there's likely a really good chance she knows (or will figure out) that it wasn't him she was talking to. If she did think it was him, she'll have thought that what he (really being you) said seemed very odd. Don't forget, she will likely have a reread of the convo from her logs. Either way (either she's figured it out or thinks he's gone all weird) she may very well try to contact him to find out if he's alright, or to let him know somebody has got into his computer. As others have said, think about this carefully. It may come down to a decision of whether you deal with this now under your own control, or deal with it later as damage control. Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 It may come down to a decision of whether you deal with this now under your own control, or deal with it later as damage control. Very well said, Ash! Link to comment
Unknown123 Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 What do you do? Tell him of course. Link to comment
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