The end of a friendship?

[tomservo]

I've been friends with this girl for about two and a half years. We met at work and got really close. There were definitely stronger feelings there besides just friendship. For both of us. We tried to start dating about six months ago and it didn't work out.

 

I took it really hard and begged, whined, pouted, said stupid and mean stuff to her, and basically just couldn't let it go. Especially after she started dating someone else. She actually broke off our friendship twice during this time, but that would only last a couple of days. There were times, though, when we got along better than ever. Then there were days when I was really depressed about her rejection that I would just ignore her. I realize now, as well as then, that I was being a terrible friend. I mean, we were friends first and things just didn't work out romantically so I shouldn't have taken it so hard. But I did.

 

We don't work together any longer. It's been about a month since we last saw each other. I've sent her a couple of e-mails that she hasn't responded to. Last night we talked on IM for the first time in a couple of months. It was a very short conversation.

 

I've been very depressed over this because I don't want to lose her. I don't think she's trying to ignore me or that she hates me. I feel terrible about all the stupid stuff I said to her, but everytime I try to apologize about it she gets mad. Mad at me for bringing it up I guess. I haven't brought it up in over two months and that lead to less tension in our relationship, but now it seems like it's over.

 

The main problem for me is I still hold on to some romantic feelings for her. I know that as long as I have those feelings, our friendship will suffer. The only thing I can do is just leave her alone. If she wants to be friends with me at some point in the future, she'll contact me. But I just don't know if she will. Plus, I don't even know if I'd want to be friends again. I mean, I'd like to, but I don't know if I'll ever feel that way about her again. For me it's definitely a "love/hate" relationship.

[MetallicAguy]

If she wants to be friends with me at some point in the future, she'll contact me

Exactly. Or, you could just back off and ignore her and never talk to her again. But if you still want a friendship, just back off for a while until your romantic feelings die, focus on a hobby or another girl that'd catch your interest and see how it goes then.

[Alabama]

This sounds troublesome. You really want to be friends with this girl again, but at the same time the feelings will not go away. Love can have a powerful effect on people and sometimes it does not want to let go. I suggest, as cruel as this can seem, is to let things be. If your feelings for this girl will not go away, than seeing her with other people can be even more troublesome. Until you somehow learn to handle these feelings, I suggest just let things be.

[tomservo]

Thank you both.

 

I think she's actually, in a weird way, doing me a favor by not really talking to me anymore. It's making it a lot easier to get over my feelings for her. I just have to do my part and move on.

[Alabama]

Good, I'm glad you realize that. Good luck to you!