Who takes heartbreak harder? Men or women?

[SilverCloud]

I didnt know guys come around in 6 months. ..

 

Guys being the dumpee, I have a question for you. My BF asked me to marry me, I said yes, he told his family while i was there, I told my family, who freaked out as i expected(we both are of different religions, so the freak out).

 

Now after all that we went through in the last year, he says to me 2mths ago that he cant take the thought that some day my parents will hurt him and his kids some way, so no he does not want to go on with the relationship.

 

This was the 4th time he dumped me, i had kept going back to him before cause i love him a lot and i changed my ways to fix his complains. But now this .

 

So question what is going on in this guys mind . I love him otherwise i would have counted his bad points over the good. I have NC with him since the last 2 mths, but miss him in every second of it. He on the other hand i know is not with someone, but is really flirting a lot with girls 10 years younger then him. I do not know more, but only want to know if there is a way i can twist the arm of faith and be back with him.

 

When we were together we got along very well, well enough to think that we want to be married. He was married before, but got divorced 5 years before he met me, has two kids.

 

Please i know i probably sound crazy but it takes sooo long to find a person you want to spend a life with and they do to (atleast in my case initially). This is the first person i fell head over heels for and I know he did to, I just dont understand... guys tell me if you know something

[Mun]

Ok now you guys got me thinking because mine kept coming back every six months for like 5 years...I guess he was just stubborn.

[justlookin]

I didnt know guys come around in 6 months. ..

 

Guys being the dumpee, I have a question for you. My BF asked me to marry me, I said yes, he told his family while i was there, I told my family, who freaked out as i expected(we both are of different religions, so the freak out).

 

 
[php]Now after all that we went through in the last year, he says to me 2mths ago that he cant take the thought that some day my parents will hurt him and his kids some way, so no he does not want to go on with the relationship[/php]
. 

This was the 4th time he dumped me, i had kept going back to him before cause i love him a lot and i changed my ways to fix his complains. But now this .

 

So question what is going on in this guys mind . I love him otherwise i would have counted his bad points over the good. I have NC with him since the last 2 mths, but miss him in every second of it. He on the other hand i know is not with someone, but is really flirting a lot with girls 10 years younger then him. I do not know more, but only want to know if there is a way i can twist the arm of faith and be back with him.

 

When we were together we got along very well, well enough to think that we want to be married. He was married before, but got divorced 5 years before he met me, has two kids.

 

Please i know i probably sound crazy but it takes sooo long to find a person you want to spend a life with and they do to (atleast in my case initially). This is the first person i fell head over heels for and I know he did to, I just dont understand... guys tell me if you know something[/quote

 

I was dating a gal for a year and a half in a simular situation,we got along great!I was told by the church that we we're unequally yoked,,(Religion).It was also insinuated to me that if I married her I would be excommunicated.It is sad what religion does in the name of God.I am sorry about your parents,I think they mean well,but to push thier beliefs on you and others is wrong.Who's life is it?.So do you or your x believe in your different religions because your parents do,or because of what you we're taught,or do you believe because of your own personal discovery? I broke up with mine on the phone,never to see her again.(Kinda like your X)I tried to repair the situation after I realized that I loved Her 4 mths later,but to my surprise she was already in another relationship,and married 4 mths later.(In the Church by the way)Long story there I still wrestle with the fact that I did not listen to my heart,but I listened to others.It should of been my choice to go on with the relationship and see if it worked.I have learned!----To allow others to make our choices for us is the safe way,if things go wrong we can blame them.(I still blame them) LOL-If we make our own choices we can only blame ourselves.It sounds like religion has devided again.

[justlookin]

Ok now you guys got me thinking because mine kept coming back every six months for like 5 years...I guess he was just stubborn.

I tried to go back Mun,But she was Married

[SilverCloud]

It is sad what religion does in the name of God. I am sorry about your parents,I think they mean well,but to push thier beliefs on you and others is wrong.

 

 

We both believed in keeping our faiths and in regards to kids teach them both and let them pick the one they want to follow. My parents meant well, and i know that they wanted their child to have a good life.

 

As for my BF i do not think he will ever even think of coming back, since he is desperately looking into dating and because he was the dumper.(wish he was like you i would wait as long as it takes if i am garenteed that there will be a return).

 

Question for you did you realise that you loved your GF after you had dated other people?

[Mun]

I tried to go back Mun,But she was Married

 

Hun, if she got married so quick after you...you sure you want her back?

[justlookin]

It is sad what religion does in the name of God. I am sorry about your parents,I think they mean well,but to push thier beliefs on you and others is wrong.

 

 

We both believed in keeping our faiths and in regards to kids teach them both and let them pick the one they want to follow.

My parents meant well, and i know that they wanted their child to have a good life.

As for my BF i do not think he will ever even think of coming back, since he is desperately looking into dating and because he was the dumper.(wish he was like you i would wait as long as it takes if i am garenteed that there will be a return).

 

Question for you did you realise that you loved your GF after you had dated other people?

 

Not sure what 2 religions you are teaching them to pick from,but I assure you there are more then two!!.I was the dumper,and I did not think it was approporiate for me to date while I was healing from the breakup,I stayed busy remodeling my house,working, ECT until she remarried.I loved her when I broke up with her,but it took me 4 mths to figure out that I let others influence me to the break up,that is when I realized that I really loved her and started hurting.(Darkest days of my life).I think like your parents they meant well,but it was like they we're more concerned about thier image.It is kinda like God has a plan for our lives and so does everyone else.To answer your question,yes I realized I loved her after I dated,I thought it would be easy to replace her,(but she captured my heart) it made me feel so empty to date and I felt like I was loosing part of my self or soul.There are no 100% guarantees of returns,but if we stay healthy and do our homework and research our chances get better.

[SilverCloud]

lol, yes you are right about more then two religions... I personally believe that religion should only be taken up to teach moral values and ways to treat others.

I do not know if my ex loves me anymore or not... and i do not think if i want the answer to that cause it is quite clear. If he did i do not think he would have dumped me. All he said was that he was afraid that my parents will create issues for him and his kids(from previous marriage). Which i know is not true, cause of many reasons(dont want to ruin the original thread of discussion here).

Plus i know he is out there dating ... what he feels about it i do not know nor do i have the right anymore to ask...I dislike it a lot.. lol.. but if i keep thinking about it, i end up hurting a lot... i make the hurt away by saying all the time..what is meant to be will be... we can only change faith to a certain extent

I am sorry about your ex getting married soo quickly.. but not to be the harsh one saying this but her heart was not into what you two had as badly as you did, otherwise she wouldnt have moved on soo quickly. But like i said what is meant to be will be... sooo dont worry your time will come too. hahahaha look whose talking

[justlookin]

I think it depends on the individual,I have seen both men and women respond the same way with heartbreak.Sometimes I wonder if it is a inheritance. Maybe it has something to do with the way we we're raised and how we are taught and conditioned.

[justlookin]

Hun, if she got married so quick after you...you sure you want her back?

 

When we we're dating she wanted to get married to me in the same time frame that she married him.I thought that since she was only devorced 6mths from her husband of 18 yrs that she needed more time to heal.In the year and a half that we dated we got along fine with only two major disagreements.The 2nd disagreement was on the phone and we never saw each other again.We we're like a month away of getting married.I guess I feel like I only saw half the garbage in the relationship and did not experience all of it and gave up too easly.Not sure if I would want her back to get married,but I would diffenately like to see the other half of the garbage if it was there.