kickedin Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 her family knew nothing even though she said she was copying them.....now they are concerned about her and want me to sit down with them looking for the truth i politefully declined....i cant handle these childish games her bro is my friend and this is hard Link to comment
NJRon Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 Great for not responding in the first place, I can't believe I missed that thread. I don't know why all this is happening when you arne't doing anything at all. It's just bizarre. I'm also surprised the brother didn't contact you. Why on earth would the family want to talk to you at all? That's just odd too. I hope you save the nasty email. Link to comment
kickedin Posted February 14, 2006 Author Share Posted February 14, 2006 Great for not responding in the first place, I can't believe I missed that thread. I don't know why all this is happening when you arne't doing anything at all. It's just bizarre. I'm also surprised the brother didn't contact you. Why on earth would the family want to talk to you at all? That's just odd too. I hope you save the nasty email. shes wants to go out an d have fun and make her family think she is the good christian girl...and now her stories are clashing.......and they now view me as the truth of it all instead of the one causing her this grief......she used them to get me away from her then pushed them away so they wouldnt see what she is doing....so pathetic Link to comment
NJRon Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 If they ask you again, just tell them you want no part in this drama, and leave it at that. I would hope they'd respect that. Link to comment
kickedin Posted February 14, 2006 Author Share Posted February 14, 2006 If they ask you again, just tell them you want no part in this drama, and leave it at that. I would hope they'd respect that. i just told him...to please leave me out of it....it is no longer my problem....and i am sure if they confront her she will run away most likely into the new guys arms..... * * *? doubt she will call me again.... Link to comment
dishrag Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 You did very well handling this situation. Let her family pound on her for a while. Link to comment
kickedin Posted February 14, 2006 Author Share Posted February 14, 2006 You did very well handling this situation. Let her family pound on her for a while. sounds like a good plan...i just hope she doesnt hate me more.... Link to comment
dishrag Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 If she hates you then she's probably going to be thinking about you a lot. Keep with the NC with everyone like you plan to. I think that when she's in the conflict phase with you (even if it's in her own head), she's closer to the intimacy phase with you than she would be if she was in the withdrawl phase. Link to comment
kickedin Posted February 14, 2006 Author Share Posted February 14, 2006 If she hates you then she's probably going to be thinking about you a lot. Keep with the NC with everyone like you plan to. I think that when she's in the conflict phase with you (even if it's in her own head), she's closer to the intimacy phase with you than she would be if she was in the withdrawl phase. wow...i didnt look at it like that..maybe there is good in her family confronting her......maybe she will realize something hey i dont know...because even if she came back to me i dont know if i could forgive her for what she has said and done besides the fact that she may be or is fooling around with a new guy Link to comment
dishrag Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 Well, you guys are broke-up right now, so she feels she can do whatever she wants. And she can. She's her own person and you have to respect that right now. Should she come back to you and apologize, forgiveness is the only way to eliminate resentment. But, you have to take care of you and make sure it's right when you do forgive. I forgave my ex this weekend for the hell she was putting me through. I'm leaving it in the past. This is a new relationship (we're still married but separated) and everything from here on out is new. It has to be treated that way or else resentment will get in the way and prevent you from healing and moving forward. Link to comment
kickedin Posted February 14, 2006 Author Share Posted February 14, 2006 Well, you guys are broke-up right now, so she feels she can do whatever she wants. And she can. She's her own person and you have to respect that right now. Should she come back to you and apologize, forgiveness is the only way to eliminate resentment. But, you have to take care of you and make sure it's right when you do forgive. I forgave my ex this weekend for the hell she was putting me through. I'm leaving it in the past. This is a new relationship (we're still married but separated) and everything from here on out is new. It has to be treated that way or else resentment will get in the way and prevent you from healing and moving forward. so true....but i think this time i will let her prove her love to me since i spent the past year proving to her......i wont get hurt again and honestly my gut tells me she will re surfcae but i dont think it will work.....i dont think you can go back to a polluted well Link to comment
dishrag Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 i dont think you can go back to a polluted well GREAT analogy! Keep us posted!!! Link to comment
kickedin Posted February 15, 2006 Author Share Posted February 15, 2006 GREAT analogy! Keep us posted!!! i really cant put my finger on what will happen.....the level of animosity in that email! i cant imagine her ever wanting to see me or talk to me......funny thing is i dont know why she is so pissed.....over a fight? please Link to comment
dishrag Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 You sometimes can't use rationale with someone who is emotional. It's a big PITA. But, my barber said it best. Remember when you were the ANGRIEST you have ever been? Now, throw someone in there trying to rationalize with you. It's impossible. He equated a man's anger to a woman's emotions. Whether or not that's a good analogy or not, it seems to fit in our situations. Link to comment
kickedin Posted February 16, 2006 Author Share Posted February 16, 2006 You sometimes can't use rationale with someone who is emotional. It's a big PITA. But, my barber said it best. Remember when you were the ANGRIEST you have ever been? Now, throw someone in there trying to rationalize with you. It's impossible. He equated a man's anger to a woman's emotions. Whether or not that's a good analogy or not, it seems to fit in our situations. i know....i think her family hit her up with the are you doing with your life" and now she is mad at me ....cause she got snagged...so hence the email...i am just scared because a person like that can flip flop so fast.........and i am vulnerable to that....but i will stand my ground Link to comment
kickedin Posted February 17, 2006 Author Share Posted February 17, 2006 i know....i think her family hit her up with the are you doing with your life" and now she is mad at me ....cause she got snagged...so hence the email...i am just scared because a person like that can flip flop so fast.........and i am vulnerable to that....but i will stand my ground i just feel betrayed at this point and her nasty email.....just sent me back to square one... i have not responded to any of it and i am just totally bummed becaus eat this point i know she is with someone new...who knows what level that is at already...i just am really hurting! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now