Need to know what happened from cheating ex.

[LiveStrong]

Heya

 

I came out of a shortish relationship on monday, after my ex cheated on me on saturday night.

 

I found out from some good friends who were around at the time, the only problem is ive heard so many different stories, some people saying it was one guy, some people sayin it was 3 guys. I confronted my ex about it, unfortunately it had to be done through msn because i wouldnt have seen her for another week or so. I asked her what shed done that night, and she insisted that i tell her what id heard, i replied by saying that im not the person who should be explaining myself in this situation, and that i should have a right to know the truth from her.

 

With that she blocked me and now wont return my texts or anything. Anyone would think id done something wrong. Anyway, this annoyed me no end because i just feel like i want some sort of closure on it all, and cant really get that from people other than her. I know i could never have a relationship with her now or anything, but i would still like to come out of all of this as friends, because we got on really well before the relationship, but i cant be friends if i dont know what happened.

 

I guess im just asking you guys how i should handle this situation and if any of you hhave been in this situation, how did you handle it?

 

Thanks in advance

LiveStrong

[DN]

You should not have made accusations, or even implied anything, without telling her what the 'evidence' is. That was not fair, and if she did nothing wrong I can understand why she would be mad.

 

I would phone her and tell her why you asked her and then see if you believe her response - if she will talk to you.

[LiveStrong]

But the thing is i knew she had done something. It had gone round the whole college, and she admitted it. However she would not tell me what the truth was, by which i mean which story was true

[Itsok]

Actually I disagree with DN. If your friends are reliable and know FOR A FACT that she did cheat on you, I would have done the same thing.

 

Unfortunately I think that may be the last time you speak to her. Of course it's not fun to get caught, and she obviously isn't that caring of a person toward you anyhow so she might just completely ignore you from now on.

 

I'm sorry

[DN]

Actually I disagree with DN. If your friends are reliable and know FOR A FACT that she did cheat on you, I would have done the same thing.

The point I am trying to make is that she was expected to defend herself from charges without knowing what the charges were. That is what is unfair, especially since he said himself that he has heard so many different stories. If there is conflicting or contradictory evidence - who and what do you believe? How can his friends be reliable if they can't even agree among themselves if it was one guy or three guys? Maybe there were no guys.

[Itsok]

You're right DN, you never know, especially since there are conflicting views about how many people she was with.

 

Honestly though, if I was innocent, I would have gotten mad but I would have defended myself instead of putting him on 'ignore' and not talking to him again.

 

And he did say she has admitted it to him, but wouldn't get to the 'extent' of it really. It's just obvious she's not an honest person.

[77streaks]

dear need to know,

 

did your friends actually see anything with their own eyes? is there anyone who did see? of course it sounds terribly suspicious, given that its gone around college as you said.

 

another possibility is that she could have been a victim of a vindictive rumour, and in that case she must have felt villified. why she blocked you could be an admission of guilt or perhaps she felt shutdown or attacked, there's no knowing for sure just now.

 

if i were you, i would want to hear it from someone who did see. If not, when you get home, talk to her or write her an email.

 

hope you feel better soon