just got dumped dont know what to do

[nyjets1]

my girlfriend just dumped me after about 10 months that we had been together. i dont know what to do because i was very much in love with her and i dont know how to deal with this because everything was perfect and then she just ended it. she said that her reason was because she says that she wants to be single but at the same time she says that shes doing it because she wants to see other guys which doesnt make sense because thats like an oppostie. please someone give me some advice because i really like and i dont know what to do. thanks

[secret_agent_man]

First off, welcome to eNotalone! (and welcome to the club, we've all been there)

 

It does make sense in it's own way. She is telling you that she doesn't want to commit, for fear of losing/missing out on something. She's just not at the point in her life where she wants or needs a strong relationship. When she says "see other guys", she just means that she wants to hang out without feeling locked down. Don't assume she doesn't care about you, after 10 months it's hard not to care. You can try to convince her to come back, but you can't force her. Don't chase her too much, or you'll see her shut you right out.

 

The only chance of it working out is for you to respect her wishes... She wants to do her own thing, you don't want to take that from her.

 

While she's taking this time, take yours as well. Go out with your friends, sitting at home will drive you crazzzzy. It may be that you learned a lot from this relationship and can apply it in the future...

 

Hang in there, we're here...

 

8)

S.A.M.

[winkie]

I will start out by saying this at least she was honest with you. I am not sure of your age. This can determine alot. When I was 19-23 the word boyfriend was not in my vocabulary although it is not in my vocab at 27 it is not by choice I am still awaiting prince charming (where the heck is he). You have to understand that sometimes relationships do not work and there may be reason not easily seen yet. She may come back in the future and it may work....but for now she needs to know (sorry for this) that there is nothing else better out there. Sometimes people have to sabotage something so good becuase they have to second guess themselves. My advice to you is 1) It will only get easier 2) Do something for yourself 3) Go on vacation if you can 4) Pick up a hobby 5) Mingle with new girls even has friends if possible but PLEASE do not let this take up your life.....everyone has been through this and you with a little help you will get through this.

[John Blaze]

I just got out of a relationship this past may after being together for two years and living together for one year believe me its hard the first few weeks because you want to make everything the way it was. I read a lot of post and the best thing to do is give HER SPACE I can not stress to you it hard. That what she needs and take it from me she will date, hang out 10 times more then she use to do just to keep you off her mind I suggest you do the same thing because when I gave her space and went out with friend and dates it makes it that much better you will find yourself in a few weeks not thinking about her too much and you be surprise too see her attitude change towards you also if it was meet to be she come around as friends first then from that point you try to rebuild what you had.

[bzborow1]

Hi there,

 

Sorry to hear about your situation, but it's mildly good to know that pretty much everybody has been where you are at one point or another, so you're not alone in this. You should probably just let her go for the time being and move on. The old saying, "if you set if free and it comes back it was meant to be"; that's what you've got to do here, just let her go, if she comes back great, if not, great too!

 

You're probably asking yourself why she just suddenly switched paths, but I think you shouldn't even dwell on that stuff, only worry about what you can do to make yourself happier again. For myself, that meant re-dedicating myself to guitar, exercise, going out again, and enjoying the summer. Trust me, after a while going out with your buddies will be great fun because you won't have to restrain yourself!!!

 

Good luck,

 

Bill

[nyjets1]

to the women: my older cousin told me that to get a girl to come back to you you have to make her feel like she isnt overpowering you..meaing that you have to sort of ignore her and not talk to her or call her or anything, and then she will start coming back to you..i was wondering if any part of this is true and if there is anything i could do to make her come back to me..thanks again.

[John Blaze]

Did you not read the advice that I gave you beleave me today is Wednesday go from today till Monday with out calling or nothing now if SHE CALLS YOU between now keep the conversation under 2 min and enjoy the next six days if it was to be she come around.

[winkie]

You guys are all great and everything but trying to get someone back can take over your life. Everything you do will be to get this person back. Try to think that it is over so you can move on mentally and emotionally to get a grasp on your life to move on if she comes back she will come back no matter what you do or say. I know that if iI requested time away I things on my mind I have to clear and if you call this person I am sure she will miss you but you will not give her the chance to realize what life is without you and it could go either way 1) she wants you back 2) she doesn't. Please mingle a little and you may realize in the end that you dont want her back. It takes time and if you think of ways to get her back the time you have to wait will feel like an eternity.