hopelessxnow Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 i've posted a thread before but just to recap.. me and my ex were together for 6 months and we both loved eachother loads. Four months into the relationship we broke up for a day and i begged her to come back and so she came back. I promised i would stop being jealous and complaining loads over small things but i didnt which is why we broke up again after 2 months. I admit i was a * * * * for not changing.. but the relationship overall was great. After we broke up for the second time i constantly kept on calling her and crying over the phone, begging her to come back. I did this for weeks.. then months. At the beginning she admitted to my friend there were aspects of the relationship she missed.. and she still cared about me. But i pushed her too far by being so pathetic and obsessive. This lead her to stop answering my phone calls.. talking to me.. she blocked me on messenger.. and is really harsh now .. she doesnt want to have anything to do with me. she even told me to F off.. and dat i scare her.. and so i started NC a few weeks ago.. and a few days ago i got an email from her. the subject was 'why the * * * * do i keep getting these?' please cancel your * * * *ing subscription - it was a paypal subscription. i had used her email address because i couldnt use mine (when we were goin out).. but i just dont get why she has to be rude.. and why she couldnt just delete and ignore it.. i didnt reply.. but i still dont understand why she had to be rude.. im giving her so much space compared to before!.. im just wondering if i continue doing NC until summer if i would have a chance to be friends again and build up from there?.. because we're stayin at the same college for TWO more years .. oohh and one other thing.. i was invited to her friends birthday party a few weeks ago.. apparently to her friend she sed was ok with it.. and so i was just trying enjoy myself talking to my friends.. trying to avoid eye contact with my ex. She was drinking at the time.. I was enjoying myself at a table and she was on another table and she kept on stretching her neck to look at me and i was like * * *!?.. so i was like whatever.. she was a tad drunk.. and she said like 'why is he here, why cant he just go home?!..' i was soo shocked she said this!.. why did she have to react!!!.. i was drinking too and we all went to a park after eating out.. and there were different groups standing around. Each time i went to a group where it so happened to be where my ex was.. she would walk away making it really obvious!.. grrrrrr.. whats goin on in her head??!.. i still really love her.. but its just ya.. i just wanna be her friend atleast!! Link to comment
Midgi Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I am sorry but you ex sounds like anti-christ! You can be friends with her again, but that may take a long time and you may get more remarks like that. She obviously still cares about you, or she would not be bothered to make the effort to be so nasty! What I would do if I was you is be nice to her! Be really nice to her! Show her that you do not care if she is nasty because you stand abovie it! With the time she will get tired of it. I don't believe that people who break up cannot be friends again. She liked you enough to go out with you, so she should like you enough to be friends with you? She just has to understand that you are not a threat to her independence. Link to comment
ratherbesailing Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Hopeless - She needs time and space. Just try to be considerate of that. It may take months but she will eventually calm down if you stay out of her hair. It is hard when you share the same friends but try to avoid joining in the same group when she's around. Someday she'll eventually end up walking in on a circle with you and then you'll know it is okay. You are not going to be her friend for a long time and you are going to have to wait until she initiates the friendship. She's hurt and you have to earn her trust again. Link to comment
hopelessxnow Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 Hopeless - She's hurt and you have to earn her trust again. But she seems over me i dont understand how she can be hurt doesn't it mean that she still has feelings for me if she's hurt? otherwise she wouldn't care? thanx for your advice though i will continue no contact for as long as it takes.. it's goin to be hard though coz i really still love her and how do i let her know im really sorry?.. i'm worried that if she doesnt know that i am, she wouldnt ever even consider getting back together again if we do become friends Link to comment
hopelessxnow Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 She obviously still cares about you, or she would not be bothered to make the effort to be so nasty! really, is that why she's being so nasty?.. im confused but yeh it does make sense actually .. Link to comment
Midgi Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Well, my exboyfriend, was really nasty to me after we broke up for a year, and he refused to meet up with me, although we were in the same town. When we did meet up, he told me he was so nasty for his own protection, because he still liked me but he just thought we will never work out. It may be not the same with your ex, but I do not believe that people can are nasty to the one they once cared about, just for the sake of it. Link to comment
hopelessxnow Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 thanx, that helped alot and yeah.. i do think that is the reason why she's being horrible. Link to comment
hopelessxnow Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 i've given her that much space since christmas though.. and why did she have to react when i was ignoring her.. and if she really didnt want anything to do with me then just delete the newletter and ignore it?.. why email me.. AND.. weeks before she actually said 'F off you scare me'.. we had a short conversation on mesenger.. she was online for a while but it was quite awkward.. so she decided to not be friends at all or sumthin. i duno.. but i didnt contact her much since.. well maybe i did but not enuff to annoy her that much.. i mean we used to smile at eachother and i was able to atleast say hi to her at school.. but she just cut off completely.. since i dont no when. Link to comment
hopelessxnow Posted February 1, 2006 Author Share Posted February 1, 2006 would i have a chance after months of NC?.. it's been over 3 weeks now and it's really getting to me.. but ya i will continue NC for as long as it takes till she's ok with me.. she would be my friend afterwards right?.. but im really scared she mite never consider going back out again because of everything that has happened.. how can i like.. tell her im really sorry and that i've learnt from my mistakes? Link to comment
Pikey1972 Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 hopeless, definitely keep going with NC. I know it's very hard (I'm only on Day 8 and am struggling), but it's the best thing to do in the long run. NC will definitely help you heal and move on. If you contact her now, you'll only push her away. Give her space and allow yourself to heal. Unfortunately I don't know if she'll be OK after a few months - I wonder the same about my ex. Only time will tell... Good luck. Link to comment
hopelessxnow Posted February 10, 2006 Author Share Posted February 10, 2006 thanx, i've been doing NC for a few weeks now. I think I am doing pretty well and I can say i'm pretty much over her but not quite. I had thought that weeks maybe months of NC is enough so last night i called her. She was like "what the * * * * are you calling me for!?" I'm surprised she didnt hang up straight after. She let me reply.. I asked her if she was having a party because i heard people saying she was. And she was like "no! * * * * off!" and hung up. i'm not sure if she was drunk or not but she was with her friends. 5 minutes later i get a call back from her friend. She said that my ex said to stop calling her. * * * is that about =S it was ONE phone call in WEEKS or even a MONTH maybe two but i probably had broken the NC a few times. How can she bother to ask a friend to call back with a different mobile to tell me to stop calling!! it was one fone call grrrr! but yeah anyways.. i can understand why shes being harsh and all because i havnt been very good after the break up.. i really want to apologise and let her know i actually mean it without her thinking its an attempt to get her back.. well it is kinda but i dont want her to think that.. lol.. im really confused i really want to tell her how sorry i am about everything.. what do i do?? hope someone out there is able to help =) thanx! Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 Yikes Hopeless..... I think ONE F-off would be plenty for me. If you call her again it's harassment...and against the law. You really should move on. Link to comment
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