Trying to stay friends - how do you do it?

[EnglishSilver]

My g/f broke up with me just over two weeks ago, I wont go into long detail (theres already a post in the GLBT forum), says her feelings towards me haven't changed, but she couldn't cope with keeping 5 very individual teenagers (2 hers 3 mine) happy at weekends, or living an hour apart with no realistic prospect of living together for several years. I have been heartbroken, tearful, felt it almost as a physical pain, and have just the last couple of days started to cope with the hurt better, although its still very painful. She says she very much wants us to remain friends as there was actually nothing wrong with our relationship as a couple and because she still loves and cares for me. Also, our two youngest children are very close friends and it would be cruel to keep them apart because I'm upset. I'm finding it very hard to get my head round how I could still phone and visit her when I want so badly for it to be more than friendship. I don't blame her because I understand that although we were right for each other all the circumstances were wrong. I just don't know how to go about healing and still keeping the door open for friendship. We haven't been phoning, but have sent daily texts and some emails. I have been quite open about my grief in these emails because she said she wanted me to tell her how I felt rather than bottle it up, but now it seems she is finding it hard to handle that, and isn't replying to emails even though she says in her texts she will send one. Apart from just one evening when I was distraught and i asked her not to text that night, I have tried to keep a small channel of communication open, but if she's not going to email me back I can't keep chasing her as it'll crush my self esteem. I have thought of really cutting back on contact for a while until we both feel a bit stronger, but worry then that I would be reluctant to risk opening wounds again in say a couple of months down the line. I know she feels really bad for hurting me, but I can't pretend to be okay so that she can keep the bits of our relationship she doesn't want to let go of (e.g. shared sense of humour, having fun together doing things, supporting each other over parenting and work issues) without feeling guilty. My son has been talking to her daughter online and on the phone, and i'm glad he is happy he can talk to her, but i scares me that if I can't bring myself to see my ex, the kids are going to get even more hurt. what a mess! Any words of wisdom would be very much appreciated.

[Tigris]

Try meeting up on neutral ground!

 

Arrange to take the kids to an activity they all like. Something that will take everyone's mind off the problem of your relationship.

 

Relax and enjoy yourself.