can you help my best friends weird sex problem???

[steff]

hey, the other day one of my best friends came to me and told me something that i had no idea what to say to or how to help her.

 

she told me that shes being trying to have sex with her boyfriend (shes 18 like me, and her boyfriend is 20) but everytime he went inside her she screamed with pain, she told me it wasnt that she wasnt 'in the mood' but she didnt know what it was from. i told her to change positions and she said she had.... she also told me she bleed for ages after....

 

what can i say to her that will help her???? by the way she is not a virgin, so it isnt that....

[RayKay]

I say to help her you tell her to go to her doctor and rule out any medical issues she may have first and foremost.

 

Bleeding for ages after and screaming in pain is not normal if she is not a virgin either, either they are being rough, she has an infection of some sort, or any number of things - she needs to see her doctor either way.

[annie24]

A few things could be going on - she may have an infection that she doesn't know about that's causing the pain.

 

Another possibility is vaginismus. go to It is possible that, for whatever reason, her PC muscles are tightening involuntarily when she is trying to have sex. Maybe they have some relationship problems or trust issues. For some women, it is hard to have sex if you don't fully 100% trust who you're with. Even if she's not a virgin, issues can arise later that lead to anxiety and nervousness.

[steff]

i dont think its an infection... she would never sleep with a guy without protection, she is a strong believer in that...

 

sorry forgot to say that she told me she has always had problems, even the first time she did something... so i think she means that its always been painful

[annie24]

In that case, I think that going to that website I gave you would be a good idea. Painful sex for women is more common than people know. Additionally, she may have a tilted uterus.

 

She should still go to the doctor though, to make sure that everything is ok.

[steff]

thanks annie, but i cant seem to get the website to open???? is there another website that would be just as usefull for her???

[annie24]

why can't you get it open? the link is working fine for me.

 

go to search for "painful sex" or "vaginismus"

 

good luck

[Bethany]

Just because of the bleeding, she should go and see a doctor.

[good_charlotte_freak2]

I don't know ,uch but I definitely agree to go see the doctor!

[sweetheart230]

I talked to my doctor about it- the really bad pain and the bleeding- and he told me that I probably needed more experience- to be broekn in more (i've only done it a handful of times) and that the guy needs to go slower. Even though I was really turned on, he told me I should extend foreplay and/or use more lubricant. My problem is that I'm really small and tight (my gyno had to use the child sized speculum), but he said that it would improve with time and if the guy took his time.

 

I've also been told that using your fingers to get that area more used to penetration a couple times a week can help. I havn't tried this.

 

But, like everyone else said, the best thing to do is go to a doctor because she should rule out serious medical problems first.