Am I being completely paranoid?

[hopelesslee]

I've been dating this guy, Harry, for about a month now. However, I have been feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing since it began because a) two or three months ago Harry broke up with his girlfriend of about a year and a half, b) he seemed reluctant to officially date me for about a month due to his being "busy with work" & "not wanting to be tired and moody around me." Although he assured me that he had ended it with his old girlfriend and had lost his feelings for her long before they broke up, he told one of my friends that he was not "officially" broken up with her about 2 months ago (before him and I started dating). When I asked him about it he said that my friend had misunderstood him and that he only meant that he felt cruel shutting his ex out completely (as a friend) right before Christmas.

I accepted this explanation, but now I am starting to worry again. His ex (or so I hope) goes to a different school than we do, making it easier for him to hide anything going on between them. Recently I looked at his away messages and it seemed to be a list of inside jokes, then later on a bunch of sad song lyrics saying something about "letting you go" etc. I know that this probably seems crazy, but I got this weird feeling that all of these messages were directed at his ex.

Do you think that I am overreacting over this, or is there legitimate cause to be concerned? If there is reason to worry, how should I approach the subject with him? I always have had problems with self-esteem and this leads me to be clingy and sometimes obsessive. Although I don't want to come off as irritating and suspicious, I also don't want to be treated as if I am too stupid to figure out what's going on. What do you think I should do?

 

Thanks so much for your help!](*,)

[DN]

As in almost any relationship issue, communication is key - I think you should ask him. His response, or lack of a response, will tell you a lot.

[daredevil]

Yeah confront him with it or ask him when the time is right, because communication and such is the key to move on and get closer

[Darketernal]

I think you should listen to your 'gut' feeling.

 

However don't become a victim of the paranoid, remember 'innocent until proven guilty'

 

Even if he still makes contact with his ex , that doesnt mean he's still having an affair with her. These kind of things often can lead to panic reactions, trust takes time, and unless he breaks it and you have solid proof, try to relax a bit. A relationship is about loving and enjoying eachother,now you sound like you work for the CIA. Although its good to be sceptical in life, don't overdo it ok?