NEED A POINT IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

[ak35082]

OK.3 YEARS AGO ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND MET AND WE WERE TOGETHER 2 YEARS.THEN WE BROKE UP AND I WOULD NOT LEAVE HER ALONE ABOUT IT.I PUSHED HER TO SOMEONE ELSE AND WHEN I STOPPED CALLING SHE CALLED ME 2 MONTHS LATER BEGGING TO SEE ME AND BE WITH ME.SO WE GOT BACK TOGETHER BUT I COULD NOT LET GO OF WHAT HAPPENED(HER BEING WITH SOMEONE ELSE).SO 6 MONTHS LATER WE BROKE UP AGAIN.I DID THE SAME THING AND MONTHS LATER SHE GOT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.SHE CALLED ME A YEAR LATER AND WANTED TO SEE ME SO I AGREED.WE TALKED ABOUT WHY WE BROKE UP AND WHAT WENT WRONG.NOW SHE HAS BROKEN UP WITH THE GUY SHE WAS WITH A FOR A MONTH WE HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER EVERY WEEKEND.SHE TOLD ME SHE WANTED TO START OUT SLOW AS JUST FRIENDS AND WORK OUR WAY INTO IT.BUT WE DID EVERYTHING A COUPLE WOULD DO.THEN LAST WEEK I GOT CURIOUS AND DROVE BY HER APARTMENT.WHEN I GOT THERE SHE WAS GETTING OUT OF HER CAR AND HER EX WAS STANDING THERE.KEEP IN MIND THAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING HIS STUFF.BUT THEM TWO STANDING THERE TOGETHER MADE ME LOSE IT.I TOLD HER SHE LIED TO ME AND EVERYTHING.SHE TOLD ME EVERYTHING WAS FINE NOTHING IS GOING ON HE WAS THERE TO GET HIS STUFF AND LEAVE BUT SEEING HIM BROUGHT EVERYTHING BACK THAT I WAS STARTING TO ACCEPT AND GET OVER.NOW SHE IS SAYING SHE WANTS TO KEEP IT AS FRIENDS CAUSE SHE IS NOT READY TO BE WITH ME JUST YET AND THAT I ACTED LIKE I DID WHEN WE BROKE UP.I AM GOING CRAZY B/C FOR A YEAR I HAD HOPED I WOUDL GET THIS OPPURTUNITY AGAIN AND I FEEL LIKE I AM LOSING IT.SHE TELLS ME EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AND IT WILL ALL WORK OUT FOR THE BEST BUT I HATE JUST BEING FRIENDS.I USED TO BE SOMETHING WAY MORE THAN THAT AND I HATE THE POSITION I AM IN NOW.WHAT DO I DO?

[segagirl]

well to be direct and honest, you are creating you're own drama here.

You say you want to be with this girl, but every time you get her back, you "punish" her for having a life when she was not with you!! Not a good way to keep a girl. You sound overly possessive and jealous.

Time to take a long hard look at yourself. Realize she had the right to date others while you were apart, and that if she wanted to be with others guys...she would be..but she chose you. This is not a cat and mouse game, if you love her say you are sorry for being judgmental and that you will NEVER treat her with that disrespect again, that you accept her right to have a life without you...and that you will stop being jealous.

[secret_agent_man]

It's not that you're doing anything wrong, it's natural to have the reactions to things like this. Just take it at her pace, don't get caught up in the past... Realize that she's come back to you more than once, so the other guys were most likely for temporary comfort.

 

Years ago, I broke it off with my girl, and went out partying. I was just trying to stay young and I was a bit scared of getting into a long relationship. 2 months passed and I realized I wanted this girl, and NO other. I called her, and she dropped the current boyfriend for me in about 5 seconds flat (it was her choice, I didn't even have to ask). He wasn't too surprised, because he could tell she wanted to be with me. I guess that's what helped me get over it. I could deal with her being with someone else because I saw how easily she came back to me.

 

The moral of the story is.....

Look at the big picture. If she wanted someone else, you've given her the chance, and she hasn't stayed with anyone. She sounds to me like she wants to take it slow to make it easy on you, but she wouldn't be trying at all if she didn't want to give it another go.

 

Good luck, let things happen and try not to dwell on the past with things that are out of your control.

 

[sugar_coated_honey]

right firstly if you want this girl back you need to go a different way about it-let her know that your gonna change, you cant keep ruling her life and getting jealous of her innocently seeing her ex beacuase it just wont work out. you need to think what you want - if you wana b with this girl you have to lay off abit, dont b so possessive and then maybe you guys can give it a try.

 

xxx