Has anyone returned to a cheating partner?

[mrmaximum]

I'd never be able to take a cheater back. Once someone cheats they can hit the road as far as I'm concerned.

 

That is the stage where I and my wife are at. If cheating occurs, this for us is an automatic dealbreaker and we both made that clear to each other right at the start of our relationship. I think it was Agent who was surprised that more people don't discuss infidelty and their rules in regards to it but for some it is a morbid topic and one that most probably figure is common sense anyway.

 

Did I wish hateful things on my ex, for a while, yes. However, given enough time I simply let things go. I highly doubt it healthy to hang onto such anger for any serious length of time. Like CS stated earlier, I wasn't perfect, not by a long shot but I was trying to make things right toward the end.

 

Cs and Jen, you've made some great points in terms of the attitude one has after the event, and yes, infidelity isn't necessarily the end. Some can and do make it past and I applaud the ones that do. This was precisely the reason why I took my ex back because she was sorry for what she did and she told me as soon as she possibly could. I felt that I could trust her again by her actions and they where saying quite a bit in her defense. The rest of the relationship didn't go so smoothly but that is a tale for another time.

 

Yeah, every case must be dealt with differently, sometimes the BS is simply the biggest jerk (or jerkette) the world has every seen and the relationship should end anyway for all parties involved (including kids). Or maybe the BS is simply using the affair as leverage to abuse or bully the WS. Once again, this isn't fair either. All factors must be weighed before a choice is made. The factor for me is that I simply don't want to live the rest of my life looking over my shoulder and wondering and my wife feels the exact same way. That factor is the deciding one for me, however, this is the one for me and everyone is different, yeah?

[cs90453]

I think that is a great idea that you and your wife have sat down and had a discussion about this. I guess that most people don't talk about it because they don't believe that such a thing could happen to their relationship. I will certainly keep in mind your idea when I have another relationship. As you said, at least we will have a clear understanding about how we both feel about it.

 

I would like to wish everyone all the best in their relationships. I know some people who have gone through this and are still together so there is still hope. I even thought that my marriage was going to be saved but later realized that she wasn't into it and I didn't feel that she loved me anymore. So I guess it's important to know when to pull the plug and move on before too much time and energy is used. My father always says "No sense beating a dead horse"...I think that this could fit in a situation like this.

[JennyNifer]

No matter what you are going through, this is a nice pick me up and I am sure a few of us could use it.

 

 

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.

 

" -Mother Teresa

[SpeedingCars]

My guy cheated (more or less... he lied and stuff!) and so far, he seems to be giving me a LOT of space. Hinting things like, "It's up to you" or "Do what you gotta do", as if I'm the one that should be making the first move.

 

He's very big on NOT chasing people because he thinks you can never change somebody's mind, so you might as well do nothing. It's so irritating.

 

Ugh, I'm in such a pickle. It feels like I have to do all the communicating because he's waiting for ME to talk to him, even though I made it clear that I want to work on things.

 

Whatever...

I guess it's my fault for forgiving him too quickly -_-

 

I can only hope things work out.

[ILoveMyself]

bump.............