Im really messed up...

[ncisive]

For the first time in my life, even though I have been through countless moments of depression and loneliness, I dont want to go on. I have never been social, and I never had many friends. In May, I found a wonderful girl, and she fell in love with me. I went away to college 400 miles away, but we kept up our long distance relationship and we were very close. I dropped out of college to move back to be with her, because nothing was more important than the way she made me feel. I had no friends back here, because they all went away. Well, she broke up with me after I came back, and immediately got another guy. I have been siting in my room for 2 weeks, and im a complete mess. I live with my mom right now, and I dont have any friends left, and the love of my life is with another man right now, and hates talking to me. The worse part is, I cant go back to college right now because i got cut off financially because I moved back. This has been the lowest point of my life, and I feel like I just want to not go on anymore. Everything I do reminds me of my ex, everything I see, and I just want to be in her arms again. But she hates me and adores this new guy. She always claimed she loved me and would be my soulmate forever, but one day she just let me go. I feel so absolutely miserable without her, and I keep thinking of her giving her love and sex to this other guy. Everything hurts so bad and it isnt going away. I never cry, and this whole week my eyes have just been tearing 24/7. I dont know if I can do this.

[nikkers04]

You fell in love with her what makes you think you can't find someone else??? Keep your head up try to find some friends go to a movie even if by yourself...>GET OUT THERE AND MEET PEOPLE you never know what you could be missing.

[ElektraHere]

Ncisive,

 

It is hard believe me I know. The one thing is you can't keep thinking of all the things she may or may not be doing. It will eat away at you and will keep you in a state of sadness. If you sit around and just stew in the depression it doesn't dissapate it only gets worse.

 

I know this because I do the same thing. I would rather sit in bed and sleep all day so I don't have to deal with any of my issues or problems. However they will be there tomorrow and the next if I do that. I am just now figuring out that another person can't make you happy they can be there and enhance your life but we make our ownselves happy, sad, mad, etc. These are hard lessons but that is the whole cycle of life.

 

Is there a community college you can attend? How about applying for financial aid? It sucks taking out a loan but in the long run it will be well worth it.

 

Good luck and move ahead and don't stay stuck in this place you are giving your ex way too much power. As a friend of mine tells me get to know who you are again, get to liking yourself, and live your life the way you want it to go.

 

Again good luck,

 

[ncisive]

The thing is, I dont want to deal with highschool people, and I believe thats probally the only age group around here, because theres no college or anything.

[ElektraHere]

I am attending night classes at a community college and it is mostly people who work full time and on hte older side. You can check out night classes. Even if you go in the day who cares that there are highschool kids just go and focus on your own thing. You never know sometimes a younger person has some great points of views. (not all but there are some)