do unappreciative valentines still deserve one!

[ravenfox]

I didn't post this till so late because I don't care too much about getting stuff. But my boyfriend always gets me a xmas present and he didn't this year - I don't care for the presents as I said earlier but I like being thought of - so I thought I would get a nice card - which I would have really liked AND HE KNOWS I WOULD HAVE!!!argggg - well I waited this far and nothing. Actually he skipped our anniversary right before thanksgiving too.

Also usually his mom and I exchange gifts and this year I just sent mine to her through him - she would have sent me a thank you card if nothing else and..so far nothing…is this suspicious to anyone besides me?

 

He never even said " oh she liked it ect." I feel unappreciated - and right now I am sitting in my nice clothes with makeup and hair done and he cancelled on me and wont call me back…waited 26 minuites so far. I feel sick with the flu but last night I stayed on the phone with him till past 3 30 am even though I have work at 8 am - to plan on today . I feel like no ones notcing my effort, ontop of that I feel really sick and stupid for getting all dolled up for nothing when I have 20k things to do for work projects and around the house.

 

I don't want to break up with him because I love him (2+years together and no problems till this past month even though we have had harder times) - I am very sure this is the guy for me.

 

I feel so stupid for wasting the past few days counting on seeing him today - now I am behind on my work and sick - what should I do to get him out of my mind? And does the presente thing mean anything or just that he forgot repeatedly - he never has before this past1 or 2 months! Should I get him anything for valentines? He doesn't get me anything on valentines since after the 1st one together but I like silly valentines things that make him laugh - like I MADE a outfit made that says I love -hisname- in seqens (I learned to stitch them on myself and to do heat transfers to create the hearts all over) and surprised him by showing up in it and wearing it all day - so I want to plan special stuff for next month - valentines..but I am afraid I am going to get to cry off all my makeup again…I am lost as to if I should bother

[DN]

I think you should have a talk with him and tell him you feel unappreciated. Ask him what is going on. Stay calm and don't get angry or accusative.

[annie24]

Ditto to what DN said. Something is up with him. This is too much suscpcious behavior. Don't wait anymore. Why did he cancel?

 

Chai714 on here has told me, and I think he is quite right, when someone's behavior patterns suddenly change, there is a reason for it.

[ravenfox]

words of the wise....i am on it

just checking i wasnt crazy suspecting susipiciousness

 

thank you

[Shadows Light]

Forgetting Christmas.... hmmmm nope. Somethings up. You need to talk to him. Calmly as DN suggested.

[ravenfox]

what do i say ..its 20 days late..but what happened to xmas?

i dont want to appear like i am dragging the petty stuff on. iw ish there was a tactful way of asking.

 

on the other hand it may not be too odd - the last present i received was in 2004 pre xmas - my bday valentines annerversary and xmas all passed between that an dnow - maybe i will look crazy for asking so late

 

 

can you tell i have a rampant fear of looking crazy - its one thing to be one - quite another to expose the insanity

[annie24]

He never even said “ oh she liked it ect.” I feel unappreciated - and right now I am sitting in my nice clothes with makeup and hair done and he cancelled on me and wont call me back…waited 26 minuites so far. I feel sick with the flu but last night I stayed on the phone with him till past 3 30 am even though I have work at 8 am - to plan on today:sad: . I feel like no ones notcing my effort, ontop of that I feel really sick and stupid for getting all dolled up for nothing when I have 20k things to do for work projects and around the house.

 

Why did he cancel on you? And why hasn't he called you back? Those are red flags to me.

 

Along with missing your anniversary....

 

this guy is shady.

 

It's not about the monetary value of the present. Like you said, he could have gotten you a card, and you would have been fine.

 

And the anniversary!!!

 

something is up with him.

 

It's not ok to cancel without a good reason.....

[ravenfox]

his reason was his mom asked him to do something...

annie24 i would like to borrow your mind and way with words for a day - please?

 

it seems outageously silly to say anything about annv. at this point - almost 2+ months late and i dont know what i want from him anymore - i know i am doing the wrong thing by hoping if i keep myself busy he will just drift away, but at the same time it feels immensely good to do things for myself and not plan around him these past few days!

[MRSinPA]

I think it's a bad idea to assume that there's something up. Even if that's true, you'll only make yourself feel worse by trying to guess what's going on. As much as this may suck, my advice to you would be to think of HIM. It sounds like he's having a problem and it may not even have anything to do with you; sometimes people just don't know the best way to express what they're feeling, and they end up accidentally hurting people they love. I would focus on doing your best to love him, even though you're upset. It's possible that he's feeling exactly like you do for some reason, and having you BOTH feel down just makes matters worse. Be the bigger person and try to turn it into a positive thing. Be the problem solver.

[Shadows Light]

It sounds like he's having a problem and it may not even have anything to do with you; sometimes people just don't know the best way to express what they're feeling, and they end up accidentally hurting people they love.

 

Thats called sweeping it under the rug. I agree trying to stay in a "POSITIVE" frame of mind is a good idea. However, if you are feeling hurt or resentful about something... you should be able to talk to your sig other and problem solve together. Loving him means respecting him enough to tell him you sense something is not right and solving it together.

 

And thats from someone who loved for 14 years of marriage, and did sweep it under the rug thinking all would right itself in my world.

[ravenfox]

i know shadow...i also am often the type of person who just says, " oh i will let it go" but isnt that what got me here!?

 

i mean if we both had spoken up sooner - vented a bit - and shown our fustration we wouldnt be stumbling for a way to bring them up out of a bat cave a year later (14 years late in your case! dont know how u handled that at all !)

 

once you let one thing slide then its the next and then people just expect you to be a tolerant nice person without any feelings or needs for appreciation!