Girlfriend didn't tell me she was hangin with someone else!

[heart]

Hi,

 

I really need good advice. I broke up with my girlfriend almost a year ago. We had a good relationship for the most part. I basically broke up with her because i felt like we weren't working anymore, things were becoming cumbersome. But,, towards the last couple of months of our relationship, she began hanging out with another guy, and never told me about it. It went on for alomst 2 months. Basically they would hang out when i wasn't around. I know they were talking on the phone as well, and stuff like that. I know the guy too, we were kind of friends, but truthfully i didn't trust him, i viewed him as kind of a sleazy guy, and i think i was pretty much right about that. anyway, the point is, that i do love her, and want to trust her, but for some reason i keep thinking to myself that if something like that happens, its usually a sign that the person probably doesn't like you very much, or just doesn't have any respect for you.

I know that she didn't cheat on me, but during that time when they were hanging out, i remember feeling terrible all the time. Wondering what was going on, and being very angry. so, i guess my question is,,, is this something that i can get over? is this something thats forgivable, or is it infact a sign that we probably shouldn't be together. I struggle with this everyday, and i could really use some advice. I've had trouble trusting people ever since, and i still really don't like what happened. I felt betrayed. thanks for reading

[nikkers04]

If this happened almost a year ago I dont see why you are still dwelling over it. You broke up with her.....am I not getting something here?

[RayKay]

If you are still thinking of this a year later, after you have broken it off, I think it is time to consider some counselling...you really have to start moving on and make that choice to realize it's over....

 

I really don't know what the issue is here, unless you are her are still together or back together?

 

I think she was being dishonest if she was not telling you about it, and perhaps there were other motives, and I think secrecy and that dishonesty is a serious blow to a relationship. I think you should accept the fact you are broke up as "closure" and just make a choice to stop living in the past.

[heart]

I don't need counseling,,, I'm asking for advice..........we dated for a very long time,,, and i still think of her... thats all,, just thought i could get some insight......

[nikkers04]

If you still love her then why don't you start talking to her to see if you can try to fix things?

[heart]

Because i lost some trust for her because of all this,,, plus i get to thinking that maybe she was hangin with someone else because she didn't like me very much

[nikkers04]

all you can do is talk to her...ask her about it...so what if she is hanging out with other people...that doesn't mean she is screwing them...its ok to have friends...talk to her if she still likes you take things slow

[Bethany]

Of course it's forgivable. Forgive her if that's what it takes for you to move on.

Because it sounds to me like towards the end she thought things weren't working out either and the guy she started hanging with was a just a symptom of this, not the cause. Then think to yourself....It's over. Finished. Forgive her and set YOURSELF free.