How do I talk to him about this?

[cinderella jones]

I met this man who is intelligent, handsome, owns his own business, and is very well endowed. Now he was the first one to tell me he loves me and also asked me to be his girlfriend. I ofcourse said yes. In the beginning of our relationship he would feel amorous every morning and wake me up in that manner. Even though I am not a morning person..I loved it..lol...It seemed to me that he was always interested in me and our love life. Now grant it that there were times that I did not necessarily reach orgasm. But I always thought that it was no big deal because he would make up for it next time...(my own warped philosphy I guess)...anyway now it has been about 6 or 7 months and he no longer wakes me up like that..and in addition he seems to be a selfish lover. ANd now even when we have relations with one another, he seems to lose his excitement physically in a short time...leaving me hanging so to speak. .I thought that maybe he has realized that perhaps he is not as attracted to me as he thought he was..and so I tried telling him this...he replied saying I was being silly...and has made it a point to give me reasons why he loses his excitement....I know he is not a cheater...b/c that doesn't fit his personality and I just know him well....he is too into his health and being a standard man to have relations with others.....but yet he won't discuss the problem we have physically.because it has to be difficult for him..so now I feel stuck because having great physical chemistry in a relationship is really important to me.....I just don't know how to talk to him about it without making him feel like less of a man...i am afraid that if I keep pushing the subject he may never be able to perfom the way I want him to....what do you think ..how is something like this approached?

[RayKay]

How is the relationship overall? How is his job going? How do you react when he has problems? Do you ever initiate?

 

Honestly, in my opinion if you are ready to have sex with someone, you are ready to talk to them about these issues. You can still do that and be respectful. Ask him if there is anything he would want to try, suggest some toys that may aid (ie c0ckrings).

 

You said he did say what was possibly wrong...what were they and how did you react to them?

 

Also realize, that over time, the relationship can change a bit in this department. Sleep is important too, and sometimes he may not wake you up as he is just too far gone. Or stress from work is brought into it.

 

There will be ebb and flows that you need to work through together.

[cinderella jones]

Yes ray kay he has mentioned that he is tired at times, or is paranoid about his brother being able to hear us. But even when we are absolutley alone and he has no work do I notice that he starts off with an erection and then loses it. I did think that this could be medical...but when i try and talk ..he looks at me like he thinks I am crazy for even asking.

 

Thanks for asking about his job..so far so good...his business is doing better and he has shown me that he does have a sweet side for me....he again reassured me that he is into me and then at times he is just distant simply because he is...that I shouldn't take it personally...it is just his nature...and I can accept that...I agree with you that we are both at an age that things of this nature should be discussed...but if he isn't willing to figure out something soon about our sex life..then I may have to say goodbye which I am prepared to do unfortunately...I can't help but feel that good sex and chemistry are really important in having a strong relationship..what do u think? I can't get this out of my mind ](*,)