Girlfriend and another guy

[heart]

Hi,

 

I really need good advice. I broke up with my girlfriend almost a year ago. We had a good relationship for the most part. I basically broke up with her because i felt like we weren't working anymore, things were becoming cumbersome. But,, towards the last couple of months of our relationship, she began hanging out with another guy, and never told me about it. It went on for alomst 2 months. Basically they would hang out when i wasn't around. I know they were talking on the phone as well, and stuff like that. I know the guy too, we were kind of friends, but truthfully i didn't trust him, i viewed him as kind of a sleazy guy, and i think i was pretty much right about that. anyway, the point is, that i do love her, and want to trust her, but for some reason i keep thinking to myself that if something like that happens, its usually a sign that the person probably doesn't like you very much, or just doesn't have any respect for you.

I know that she didn't cheat on me, but during that time when they were hanging out, i remember feeling terrible all the time. Wondering what was going on, and being very angry. so, i guess my question is,,, is this something that i can get over? is this something thats forgivable, or is it infact a sign that we probably shouldn't be together. I struggle with this everyday, and i could really use some advice. I've had trouble trusting people ever since, and i still really don't like what happened. I felt betrayed. thanks for reading

[Mrocza]

No offence sweetie, but you broke up with her a year ago. Isn't that enough of a sign?

[lady00]

I'm not sure I understand...aren't you two broken up? If yes, there isn't anything to forgive or anyone to trust or not trust. I guess I'm just confused. Are you trying to get back together with her?

[heart]

Yes we are broken up, and it has been almost a year,,, but I'm not over her yet,,, thats why i'm asking for advice. However,, the situation with the other guy is something that i still struggle with,,, i just didn't like that at all,,,, so thats why i'm asking.

[fishrrshortae]

You said she never cheated on you, but she did. It was not a physical affair but an emotional one. Basically, it's when your partner starts confiding in someone other than you. It sounds like she had a thing for him emotionally, if not physically.

 

Is she interested in being with you? Does she still talk to this fellow? Basically your only hope is if the answer to #1 is yes and the answer to #2 is no. And also, the little lass would have to learn that you should be her #1 priority, and YOU would have to make her more comfortable talking to you about things.

 

Maybe she was talking to him because she felt you didn't listen to her, or weren't doing something she wanted. If you are both willing to work on things, find out now what it is she was missing from you.

[titan]

hey dude, so basically youn are are struggling with the question how could she do this to me? and it sorta has but a stain on the memory of the whole relationship, like during the relationship did she talk to anyone else was she doing this before.

 

If thats the case she tarnished the memory of the relationship and you should just look at it as a decision she made and try hard to move on.

[heart]

YEs, she is very interested in being with me,,, and no she doesn't talk to him anymore. She is a really nice girl,, and she hasn't really done something like this before,,, but she has been "friendly" with this same guy before, so i was always a little suspicious about it. It just sucks,,,, I'm having a really hard time trusting,,,,,