Spidey12 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 I went over to my girlfriends house today. We have been dating for 4 months. and we JUST got back together after she cheated on me with her ex. We just got back together last night. So tonight i went over..and things werre weird. i pissed her off accidentally and she started telling me how she does not love me anymore. That things feel different. I am so confused. How can you prfoess your undying love for someone one night? and ten the next time you see them...no longer love them? what the hell. I am so hurt. What should i do? Link to comment
DN Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 What did you do to annoy her and did you apologise if it was your fault? If you did apologise or it was not your fault then see if she contacts you and see what she says. But if she does not contact you then I think you would be advised to just walk away and find someone who has less drama and more maturity. Link to comment
smallworld Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 *Hugs* Spidey. Welcome to Enot! I read your previous posts to better understand your situation. It sounds like she's finally decided she wants to be with you (not him), but that the anger and hurt you felt when you learned of her betrayal started a "war" between you. Either you're being cold and standoffish or she's getting angry over petty things and telling you she doesn't care or love you anymore. If you ever want this to work,you both need to sit down and talk about what's REALLY bothering you both. She needs to hear how her cheating hurt you and you need to hear how your actions (i.e. not answering her calls etc.) impact her. I understand that you're hurt and you want to be in "control" of the situation, but this is not a chess game. It's a relationship. The more you both hold onto your hurt feelings and choose to "retaliate" vs. communicate, the less you'll both meet each other's needs and the less likely it is that you'll last as a couple. You can turn things around now, but it'll take swallowing one's pride and having the courage to speak from the heart. What do you think? Link to comment
Spidey12 Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 Yes but how do you talk to someone who is convinced they don't love you anymore. We had the talk about the hurting and all of that and everything was put out on the table. Then we agreed to rules and conditions and we got back together. The first time i see her after getting bacvk together..she says "i dont love you anymore" hmm...I'm hurt and REALLY alone and don't know what to do..should i jus do N/C? Link to comment
DN Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 hmm...I'm hurt and REALLY alone and don't know what to do..should i jus do N/C? Yes, I think that is the best plan. But not with the hope of getting her back. Do it with the intention of getting over her and healing. Link to comment
Spidey12 Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 Yes, I think that is the best plan. But not with the hope of getting her back. Do it with the intention of getting over her and healing. I plan on doing that. But it is particuarly difficult. I know that everyone has this feelings and that everyone has special circumstances in which things occur. This friendship was no exception. I loved this girl with everything in me. And I always felt like she loved me even more. I can take her wanting to leave me, I can take her wanting space. However, I cannot take her saying she doesn't love me. It hurts so much, and yet when i looked in her eyes last night as she told me she no longer loved me, i could see that the happiness was gone. She no longer loves me. I guess N/C will do two things: help me get over her, be the only way to make her rethink her feelings about me. This is so hard. Link to comment
Ghostrider4042005 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 ok she cheated on YOU with HER ex why would you go back no matter how much you love her i'm sorry i had to say it this way but if she's cheatin on you don't you think she'll just do it again sorry how bad that sounds but i can't really say it any other way move on with your life she won't understand that you are better than her Link to comment
Spidey12 Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 I am a very forgiving person. And when we got back together, it was on my terms. And she agreed to them more than willingly. Then she said she dosnt love me. Link to comment
Ghostrider4042005 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 hmm well now you have a dilemma i guess being a very forgiving person won't solve everything but she doesn't love you but still wants to be there for youi don't know if i'd stay or go that's your call man Link to comment
DN Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 No contact is indeed hard but the alternative of being in contact with someone who does not want a relationship with you is much harder. Stick to it and come on here for as much help and support as you can get. We will all help you as much as possible. Link to comment
smallworld Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Spidey, You know her better than any of us and if you can't see the love in her eyes in anymore than perhaps NC is for the best. As for how someone can say "I love you" one day and take it back, I wish I had a good answer. She may have meant it, but the possiblity exists that she said it to retaliate in the heat of the moment. Until she proves otherwise, it's best to take her at her word and give her the space she needs to sort out her feelings. If you can't handle the thought of letting her go completely, perhaps you can agree to meet in a month or so to reassess. Link to comment
Ghostrider4042005 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 yeah DN is right we're team players we're like hooked on phonics we're here to help Link to comment
Spidey12 Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 yeah DN is right we're team players we're like hooked on phonics we're here to help lol thats awesome Link to comment
Ghostrider4042005 Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 btw nice signature@smallworld pretty inspirational Link to comment
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