my update

[normal man]

Me and my ex broke up the first week on October, by her decision. I tried everything to get her back and nothing worked. She blocked me from her email and aol and the whole deal. Well recently she unblocked me and she contacted me about reading something I had posted on my website about relationships, she stated that she agreed. We spoke briefly about nothing really, and we parted. Well I IM'd he on aol saying she looked good in pics from new years she had posted on her website and we spoke again about new years, my nephew, her new apartment, her job, and I asked about her love life and she said no boyfriend, not really even seeing anyone really and no random hookups. Not that I am concerned about that to much anyways, because single people hookup with people so no biggie. That issue would never stop me from wanting her or anything like that. Well anyways, after we spoke I got sick and threw up because emotions came over me and made me feel very sick. I decided to email her saying I'm glad she is doing well and just wanted to put myself out there again and told her i was doing well with working on myself and things had turned positive for me since we broke up but after our conversation I realized I dont know what I want. Meaning I'm not totally ready to give up hope or anythign like that. I also sent her a link to posts I posted here and said if you want to ever get a glimpse of how she messed me up with the breakup she could read it. But asked her not to show people and make a mockery out of me, which im sure she wont do cuz she is a geniunely good person.

 

So she responded saying she read my email and would respond to it when she got home from work. I'm sort of having high hopes to the response, but I know im just going to be let down and end up starting back at stage one with recovering again.

 

So was I wrong to try and make her question her leaving me again by my email?

 

also, id like to say that it takes a long time to get over someone you love that much. I dated someone before her longer than this relationship and I didnt take this long to recover and didnt feel this hurt. So to all the people that say time heals, it takes awhile

[DN]

Are you sure that giving her this link was a good idea and that you can trust her not to use it against you. This is what you wrote before:

 

 

[healinginnyc81]

I hope things work out for you, but I would say really take things slow and don't push for her to get back with you. Whether or not you want her back I think your best off just being friendly for now and not opening up too much to her. If you do want her back then making her see that she hurt you or making her feel guilty is not a good way to help her fall in love with you.

 

If you don't want her back then you shouldn't really be talking to her about all that anyway.

 

Just some thoughts, you have to do what makes sense to you, just try to look at all angles before making a decision.

[normal man]

Yeah I don't want her to feel guilty at all and try to get her back in that way. I just wanted her to realize what I was going through...because most people that know me think I could care less and just blow things off without much care. So I figured more than saying to her in an email how I was feeling, she could see for herself with what I wrote on here to you people.

 

And I don't want to push anything on her at all. Actually I was a bit nervous that she would think I was pushing her by my email. But my intention was not that at all. It's been 3 months since we split and she has moved into a new apartment 40mins from where she was before and with new people and is having new experiences. I in no way want to come between that because if she is happy with how her life is going I want that to continue. I just still have feelings for her after all this time and want us to be part of each others lives. I believe in that if people try a second time, things need to go slow and be a new relationship and not fall back to exactly how things were. All I basically would like at this time is a chance, to see her (definatly no sexual contact or anything) for dinner or drinks and to just see if a reconcilation is still possible. I mean this girl wanted to marry me and kept asking when she would have a ring on her finger. I wanted the same, but i was going through hard times with no work and just graduating college and all. the job and depression on my part cause the breakup not me not showing commintment at all.

 

and...DM I dont think it was a bad idea if she reads that thread, I was just trying to think of the otherside of knowing she didnt want me and I needed to start moving on. Cause honestly if i didnt make myself start to move on i'd probably would have done someone very bad to myself