Complete Confusion...

[_Hayley_]

I guess that I am just after opinions other than the one's I have already gained on the following matter:

 

I was with my boyfriend for 4 and a half months before he broke up with me for another girl. Things didn't work out for them, and after a month he came back to me. Presently, we have been together for 4 months. However, I find it extremely hard to forget about his ex. We both have an agreement that neither of us are allowed to talk to his ex. As petty as it may sound, we figured that it was the best for both of us. Twice however, he has gone out of his way to get in contact with his ex. Yes, some may say I am jealous, but I believe i have good reason to be. My bf can't understand why it hurts me so much when he goes out of his way to make contact with her. I have no contact with my ex's out of respect for my boyfriends wishes, and I can't understand why he cannot give me the same respect with his ex's. Maybe I could understand why he continues to get in touch with her if she was a genuine person, but the things she has said about my bf to be would me unforgivable. I don't possibly see how you would want to bother with someone like that. I really don't know what to do anymore. He continually brings up his ex in our conversations. This is not the only drama however. He thinks he can treat me however he wants, often with little respect. I know it sounds like he is not worth it. But what we have together is worth everything! He hasn't always been like this, and upon questioning why he's changed.. All he can say is, 'Maybe this is who I am'. And thats true. But there are times when it seems he is perfect and there is no one else in the world that could ever replace him, but then other times I feel as if he's not worth it. Many a times I am tempted to say it's over, but remind myself that it's something I would probably regret after i got over being angry with him. I know he doesn't intentionally mean to hurt me.. But he really does sometimes! I don't know if my situation will make much sense to anyone.. But your opinion would be greatly appreaciated... I really just don't know what to do... Thanks.

[InLoveNeedingHelp]

Hayley,

 

Sounds like you might really be in love with this boyfriend of yours. It seems like you've really tried talking things through with him to figure out what the deal is, but I believe there is a problem. I think your boyfriend might still have feelings for his ex; maybe there is something she has that you don't and he's still remembering those times with her. What you need to do, no matter how much you love him is tell him, "Baby, I'm sorry...but I really can't stand to think that you still have feelings by your ex and I'm continually being hurt by that fact." If he doesn't feel bad and apologize, then I think you should take a break. Maybe play a little hard to get. That game is really hard to play, but it will make that boy grow in respect for you. Boy's respond to what they don't have...so swtich things up a bit. If he's being disrespectful then he really doesn't appreciate what you two have. Make him appreciate it. Stay single, don't hook up with anyone. You don't even have to break up. Just become more "preocupied" and busy when he wants to hang out. Stop calling him and when he calls you either don't answer some of the time, or only on the third ring. He will be begging for you back and realize, hey... I can't get this girl that easy. Trust me, it is very effective. It's hard to do when you are in love with someone and you really do want to be with them, but you have to in order to keep this boy interested. Good luck.